Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

[Angelic999]

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

My kids Secondary had to an emergency assembly last week as there had been a few incidences of men stopping and offering lifts.

Years ago, I did exactly that on my way to work in a foreign country. Another foreigner drove past me as it was starting to rain, and stopped to offer me a lift. I accepted without thinking... there were very few foreigners in the area where I was living and so I sort of instinctively trusted him.

I have often thought since how utterly stupid that was, and I would be horrified if my dd ever did anything like that.

Thankfully, he was a very nice guy and actually gave me many more lifts over the course of the next couple of years. I was very lucky that it didn't turn out differently.

Of course you were right to decline the lift, OP, and there is no need for any guilt - any decent man would fully understand and not take offence.

No way and I wouldn't be in the middle of nowhere by myself, either.

Oh my days mate... I could have written this.

Last week, I was walking back from a big woodland that's 1.5 miles from me (I had walked 2 miles around it,) and I was on my way back, walking down a small quiet country lane... and a car pulled up next to me. A man's voice called out 'are you going back to the village?' I said 'yes but I'm fine walking thank you.' And I smiled...

He said 'oooh it's freezing - hop in,' and he opened the passenger door. 'Come on, get in' he said. I said 'no I'm fine thanks,' and carried on walking. He rolled the car along like a kerb crawler, and said 'don't be silly it's freezing, I'll give you a lift.' I said 'no. THANK you. I want to walk to get my daily steps in...' I was starting to get annoyed but also a bit anxious.

He was like and scowled at me. He put his window back up, reached over and closed the passenger door, and drove off slowly, and then he stopped about 200 yards up the road (the way I was walking,) and switched off the car. I was actually scared then, as no-one else was around. It was a quiet, little country lane...

So I turned around and walked as quickly as I could, and turned into a little tiny gap in a hedge, (some 50 yards away,) that went into a field that had some trees about 2 minutes walk away, and I legged it to there, and kind of 'hid.' I waited about 10 minutes, and then went out the other side (it was about a 10 minute walk to the other side of these trees,) and I dropped onto another country lane that took me home still, but was an extra half a mile. I got home scared, and a bit shaken. I didn't see him again thankfully...

I couldn't call DH to come pick me up, as he was in bed (nightshift,) and most other people I knew would not have got to me in time if he had caught me up again, and 'turned' on me... Indeed, DH may not have.

Ask if someone wants a lift by all means, but don't act like an entitled, angry cunt when someone politely declines...

Oh, and no @Angelic999 I would NOT accept a lift from a strange man, even if he seemed 'nice.'

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Yes, I would (am female)

But I would say ‘Im sure you’re a decent bloke, you must be as you’ve stopped to offer me a lift. But if you don’t mind I will take a photo of your car reg and you and send it to my partner so if you murder me they can catch you’

I ran the above past DH and he said he’d be entirely happy if some woman said that to him 😂

Jeez 🤣
I've trained various martial arts - including the "biting and testicle-ripping" ones - for nearly two decades, and strength train 3 X per week.

I would not be getting in any fucking car, because I know damn well most men are still stronger than me, and an assailant will probably have a plan and potentially a weapon whereas I don't know what I'm defending against.

The easiest fight to win is one you're not involved in🫤

The average 70 year old man has a stronger grip strength than the average 20 something women (at the peak of her physical strength).

Strength training and self defence training is great, but over confidence in it as a women could get you killed.

Absolutely not!
I did as a teenager in the 90’s though. Sometimes I wonder how I didn’t end up one of the many missing girls in Ireland.

Yeah, its called lifting a Lada according to our tour guide. Random people will just stop and agree a ride.

Of course not. How do you know he’s nice. An opportunistic rapist is the most likely to stop sadly…

You obviously haven't read as much about him as I have if that's what you think.

oh my gosh @LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway the fact he got aggressive and then stopped to wait for you is terrifying. Maybe it is worth a call to police to report that?

I mean.... is it? Surely the most likely is someone who is being helpful.

I hitchhiked everywhere in the 1970s, and never felt vulnerable. In the early1990s I had a breakdown on a remote part of Dartmoor at 11:30pm and flagged down the next car that passed me for a lift to a phone box, large torch in hand. The driver was probably over the limit for alcohol, and I stood there for 90 minutes waiting for the AA in January, but there were no mobile phones then. By the time I got home, DH had slept through/ignored two calls from the local police patrol.

I don't expect harm. That probably sounds naive, but I hitchhiked everywhere in the 1970s, and unless you are unlucky enough to encounter a bad man, and they exist -- we all know they do, most men are kind and helpful. And IME it doesn't really matter very much if you are young and pretty or old and frail. Most ordinary men are really quite nice, until there's something personal that angers them.

I fear for women like you. I strength train and have done so for years. I am strong. I am also I not deluded enough to think I could fight off a 16 year old boy let alone a fully grown man.

and a self defence course is fairly pointless unless the advice is to run.

unless you train in fighting arts regularly so your actions are automatic and rely on body memory, you will not respond the way you seem to think you will.

No and furthermore I would pretend that my actual male lift was just coming to meet me at the next junction or whatever. I like to cover as many bases as possible.

If you think about it, you'd be a pretty unsuccessful serial killer if you gave off serial killer vibes...

I did wonder if I should have done this. I didn't tell anyone about it, not even my DH. I don't know why. I still feel weird about it, and have been sticking to more sort of busy roads now when I walk around the village, not the winding, quiet ones that are near the woodlands.

I feel quite resentful and angry in a way, that I now have to think where I'm walking because of this man!

Was he dangerous and threatening? Or was he just over keen and pushy? And was he just annoyed because I refused his 'generous offer?'

But why did he stop up the road (knowing I was very likely to be walking past him soon..?) I'm not even sure what I would tell the police. Maybe he stopped the car to change a CD or make a phone call? Maybe he was waiting for me.

Whatever it was, I was scared.

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This happened to me recently, man in a van at stopped at some traffic lights I was walking past in the rain.
He undid his window and said jump in I’ll drop you wherever you want to go. I politely said no Thankyou!
He then shouted, stop being silly, I’m holding up traffic now so just get in.
I then shouted at him to fuck off I said fucking no!
How the hell can anyone tell the difference between a nice man and Fred West.
So no op, I would not get in a car with a man i didn’t know.
I also had to give a statement last year as a victim of crime to the police, the policeman doing the interview also seemed nice enough and offered me a lift home after as it was chucking it down, again absolutely not.

Rain on a country walk is not dangerous.

Getting into a car with a strange man in a remote area could be very dangerous indeed.

I’d just get wet.

I might. Very much depending on my what my radar tells me.

In a rainy country of 70 million people, there will absolutely be some men who see the rain as an opportunity.

Just watch An Education.

Not a hope in hell. My husband offered an older lady a lift during a storm, she was stood at a bus stop when they'd all been cancelled. He was in a work van, showed her official id, he works for the local council, and she gratefully took the lift home. Maybe in that kind of situation I would.

No chance