Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

[Angelic999]

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

Not long ago, I was in sixth form and got lost looking for a place we were meeting at for a trip. A man pulled over and offered to take me where I wanted to go. There must have been other peope who made the same mistake in getting lost.

We drive to the venue without issue. He was totally fine and I was very grateful.

It depends on the vibe you get from the person and circumstance.

After dark would be a ‘no’.

One of DW colleagues got offered of lift early morning 5am she declined and went her route that goes an underpass.
The guy was at the other side (so must have known the area)She hid in a pub car park and had to call her husband to collect her.
My DW walked that same route it was taxis after that.

I've since googled to see if there's any missing women in the area! Thankfully nothing's coming up otherwise I would have considered ringing police and giving a description.

Chances are he was just being decent but yes there was at least a lack of awareness there and maybe he'll think twice before doing it again!

Yes I have a few times and quite a number of times with couples, both here including late at night and during the day abroad. The first time with a man alone it was bucketing with rain, I was about 9, walking along a main road and in a Brownie uniform. Thankfully most people are decent, serial killers are 1 in a million.

I wouldn’t & the fact he was asking questions is a massive red flag.

It’s a shame as back in my teens, in the 1980s, I used to frequently hitchhike as we lived in the middle of nowhere with no bus service. I took lifts from whoever stopped.
(This was around the time that Fred & Rose West were giving lifts to unsuspecting girls)
And once I started driving, I used to pick up hitchhikers, female & male.
I even hitchhiked in Europe with a female friend when we were too cheap to get the bus.
And this was all before mobile phones…
I never had any problems or felt unsafe. A bit of me thinks it was because it was a different time plus pretty much all of my rides mentioned that they’d hitched in the past but most likely there was a hefty sprinkling of good fortune in there as well.

It doesn’t “depend on the vibe”. You were stupid but lucky. But luck always runs out. Not a risk worth taking, especially not when your life could be at stake.

God thats the sort of thing I did as a teen living rurally where the closest bus was 2 miles away, luckily it was fine but I would be absolutely terrified of my DD doing the same

This..

How would your self defence help you if you got in the front, and either the driver or someone hidden behind the passenger in the back seat chloroformed you with a cloth, or suddenly attacked you with a concealed knife in a moving car???

Probably not and I’m far from what most people would consider cautious. I often walk home from the station back to my house late at night using alleyways as a cut through, it’s just over a mile and never question that it’s a fine idea but my mum and dh get cross about it and insist I should be calling a taxi. I will get a taxi if there’s one there and it’s usually a male taxi driver driving me home late at night.
I used to get into men’s cars a lot as a teen on my way home from a night out. Nothing untoward ever happened, a few of them just said they had girls my sort of age and would hate to think of them walking miles home at 2am. I was very very fortunate looking back.
I do believe more men are good than bad but in a bit of rain I’d probably just walk myself.

No way. Because of my age I'd automatically think of Peter Sutcliffe (Yorkshire Ripper) who was a "nice man".

This is an old article but still relevant to this thread:

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/sep/23/becky-godden-case-shines-light-on-issue-of-uks-missing-women#:~:text=Godden's%20family%20at%20least%20know,of%20a%20central%20information%20point.

Not a chance - how would if he was nice?!

This is how Ted Bundy enticed his victims. Attractive, very well spoken and dressed, polite etc

No. You don't take lifts with strangers.
He might have had jelly for brains. Absolutely no.

You sound like Gareth from The Office 😂 and I don’t mean that in a rude way lol, I wish I was able to defend myself as a woman but I’ve the upper body strength of a daddy long legs.

no I would not accept a lift from a man in a secluded setting - and even him slowing down and rolling down the window would be enough to raise the hairs on my neck

Peter Sutcliffes's victims were mainly prostitutes so he lured them on the premis of doing business, not by charm or by being helpful or friendly

But then saying that, in my teens it was perfectly normal to hitchhike and I merrily jumped into strangers' cars when offered a lift. The Yorkshire Ripper era was the beginning of change and I certainly wouldn't now

I haven't seen a hitchhiker in the UK for well over a decade now!

Not a fucking chance would I get in a car with a strange man, and I'm 6ft3, built like a tree, oh, and a bloke!

A self defence course run by the police. My area runs 2/3 classes a year.

Are you in the UK? I've never heard of this.

You're kidding yourself. Almost every man is significantly stronger than almost any woman. You would not be able to "subdue" a man intent on raping and/or murdering you in a locked car. Even an actual female Police Officer would probably fail. You are offering very bad advice to other women.

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not ‘stupid’ to accept a 2 min ride from a local man who’d seen others knew exactly where I needed to go. It’s intuition and it was safe and fine. Personally, I live with caution but I don’t go about my day thinking everyone wants to rape and murder me.

No

And a nice man wouldn't proceed to question me