Would you accept a lift from a nice man in the middle of nowhere?

[Angelic999]

Out on a remote countryside walk alone as a woman, it starts raining. A man stops in his car to offer a lift. Would you say yes?

This happened to me recently. I said no thank you. He then proceeded to question me about where I was going. He seemed nice enough but I wasn't willing to take the risk to get in a car with a complete stranger (Ian Brady anyone?!)

Part of my female conditioning has been to then feel guilty that I have offended him! But then surely he should have more awareness. Although maybe it's just friendly country folk being genuine!

No way and I wouldn’t even if there was a woman in the car too. That’s the Fred (and Rose) West M.O. and people said he came across nice and friendly too. Fuck that shit! We’re perfectly capable of walking in the rain.

No - you made the right call today and are safe at home tonight because of that .

Nice men might want to help but they know not too .

No way. I’ve accepted lifts on 2 occasions from 2 perfectly nice male colleagues and massively regretted it. There’s no chance of me accepting a lift from a stranger.

Exactly. That's the irony here. A bit like the men trying to access women-only spaces: they're exactly the ones you want to keep out.

No I would not.

I was in Canada with DH once and we were trying to flag down a taxi late at night after dinner when this car with a couple in pull up, open the door and tell us to get in.

We assumed they must be some sort of Uber type thing doing an off books job. We tell them where we are going.

They then in a very kind Canadian way gently berated us all the way there for getting into a car with strangers late at night, dropped us at our hotel and refused to take any money!

Not now no but when I was a teenager I did this a lot and I look back and can’t believe how stupid I was it happened about 6 times. I also now think about it from the perspective of the men putting themselves in a potentially stupid situation as well ? Thank goodness they were all the decent men they said they were and had genuine concern when encountering a vulnerable child out in the cold and dark. I remember one pulling up approaching me carefully and telling me he had a daughter and he wouldn’t want her out alone. I still shouldn’t have got in his car I was just lucky it was the truth. Another time at a deserted station I was approached by a group of 4 men , they had put all their change together and told me to phone a taxi and go home as it wasn’t safe and the last bus had gone and they waited with me .

I don't routinely do this but in certain circumstances I have. When young and drunk accepted a lift home from 3 men who asked for directions and it was close to where I was going 😲 I think we were all a bit surprised how that turned out. They were fine. I sobered up instantly once in the car. I'd kill my children for doing the same.

I offered a stranger a lift to work the other day as it was raining. She accepted.

I offered a male scruffy hitchhiker a lift down the motorway a couple of months back. He was in a very public place with a sign asking for a lift. He looked like an interesting companion for a journey and I felt sorry for him.

As a child I got in a strangers' car when I had a puncture a few miles from home in some country lanes. Once in the car I realised how easy it had been for this man to get me in his car. He took me home.

In my forties I had a bike accident and the man I hit gave me a lift into a local cafe to get cleaned up and wait for my husband. Bike was misshapen and I was bleeding.

If someone stopped to offer and it was raining in the town I wouldn't accept a lift. In rural areas locals present differently so yes I might accept a lift from a local

you have to be joking right? Otherwise this is just so embarrassing. You sound like one of those scrawny guys who goes on about how he’s gonna knock much bigger men out.

even if we say you’re an unusually strong female boxer with training in martial arts, you’re unlikely to be able to bring a man down if they’re hopped up on attack adrenaline, or if you’re in any way unprepared.

but let’s just say you’re a feat of nature and a psychologically superior (unagi, anyone?) how do you actually think it’s alright to go around acting like for the rest of us mere mortals a self defence course will solve all our problems? Like we can just suddenly over power men? Strange victim blaming and actually hilarious.

I think these comments re Sarah Everard are unfair. The poor woman didn't choose to accept a lift. ❤️‍🩹

No

Only if I was feeling particularly interested in what being abducted feels like that day. Otherwise, no.

No. I often walk alone (with my dogs) in the countryside & it’s often raining but that’s not a reason to put yourself at risk. I don’t think many men would offer to be honest.
I did many risky things when I was younger (and probably drunk) and can’t believe how stupid I was.

Depends on situation... I think not just because of rain maybe. If I had really good reason to need a lift I might but before getting in I think I'd say 'That would be great, I'd like to send my husband a message with your car number plate - nothing personal but you understand I have to be careful' . And if he doesn't like that, then he's clearly a wrong'un.

Not unless I thought the danger from not accepting would be greater (e.g. if I'm lost, without warm enough clothes, and it's getting dark)

No!

No way! I live very remote and I’m always out walking but this would freak me out tbh and I’m not normally a nervous person. It’s the continuing to ask you questions that would really make me suspicious

No I wouldn’t either. DH once came to get me because he was driving home in bad weather at about 10pm and saw a woman with a child and a lot of bags walking roadside and assumed a breakdown or domestic situation but was too wary to stop and offer to help in case he scared her. Obviously I know my DH is a lovely person just trying to help but she wouldn’t have and he didn’t want to put either of them in that position.

I don't believe you've done such a course - if you have you'd know the first rule would be to not get into the car in the first place.

No way. He wasn't a nice man.

No

@ImThePr0blemwhat is a police self defence course?

Never in a million years. Red flags galore.

I would use the same response that a (male) friend used on me once when I asked if he wanted to cancel meeting up for a walk because it was raining heavily: “I’m not soluble”.

My friend is a former criminal barrister and far too smart for his own good 😜but he was bang on the money with that one. Not soluble indeed.

Ted Bundy was a “nice man”.

Agree. I’m fit and strong for my size and work in the kind of job where I’ve been involved in many physical altercations with men over the years and it’s a rare woman who can hold her own against the average man’s superior size and strength. Your typical middle aged mum (and no slight intended by that, I’m one myself!) with a can of hairspray is sadly no match on her own for a man who intends to do her harm.

No way. And the fact he actually stopped to ask - when hopefully now men have begun to realise how threatening they can be in a deserted area - shows he wasn’t thinking or considerate that he’s making you very uncomfortable.