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Adult children at Christmas

113 replies

pinenuts75 · 05/12/2025 21:47

How much do you all spend on your adult kids at Christmas? My two are 25 and 27, I’m on my own and honestly they earn more money than me, I’ve got them a £20 gift card each and some chocolates, but it just doesn’t seem a lot, feel I need to get them something else.

OP posts:
BlackCatGoesHome · 05/12/2025 21:47

Can't you get them a personalised present each? What you've got is so generic.

pinenuts75 · 05/12/2025 21:49

BlackCatGoesHome · 05/12/2025 21:47

Can't you get them a personalised present each? What you've got is so generic.

It’s what they want though, they asked for a specific gift card

OP posts:
BrendaSmall · 05/12/2025 21:50

My adult children all have their own children now, that doesn’t mean they I no longer buy them much, my eldest likes an Adidas sweatshirt and a jacket so I bought them they’re £75 each, what I spend on one I make sure I spend near enough on each of them and also on my grandchildren,

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Larymarylary · 05/12/2025 21:52

pinenuts75 · 05/12/2025 21:47

How much do you all spend on your adult kids at Christmas? My two are 25 and 27, I’m on my own and honestly they earn more money than me, I’ve got them a £20 gift card each and some chocolates, but it just doesn’t seem a lot, feel I need to get them something else.

That’s fine, as befitting your circumstances.

Soony · 05/12/2025 21:55

You get them what you can afford. On a limited budget I would buy some small things for a stocking and spend a little more on a main present.
Your presents are fine.
I still do stockings for my 27 and 29 year olds.

FastTurtle · 05/12/2025 21:55

It doesn’t matter what other people spend and it’s nice you were able to buy them what they wanted.

MumChp · 05/12/2025 21:56

That's fine!

TheAutumnCrow · 05/12/2025 21:56

It’s less and less each year!

They get nothing from their useless father so I have always tried to make up for it a bit, I suppose. But they definitely prefer the personal touch (as do I) rather than £££ and stress and commercialism.

It really is the thought that counts. A cliché, yes - but a good one.

mumofsevenfluffs · 05/12/2025 21:57

Mine are 20 living at home and 25 married with own family. I spent between £100-£250 for each plus my son in law depending on what I have available. Never less than £100

HoppityBun · 05/12/2025 21:57

They’ll be happy that you’re thinking of them and that you want to give them a present because a tiny part of them is still your small child. It’s fine to say “This is from me, with all my love, and I wish that I could give you more”

Cat1504 · 05/12/2025 21:58

..I spend about £100 on each AC (x3) and each GC (x3) and on my DM ….I don’t buy for anyone else ….my partner and I never exchange gifts

mindutopia · 05/12/2025 21:58

MIL gives us a hamper for Christmas, maybe £20-30. We tend to do the same for her. It’s a lovely gesture. We all love the treats and it doesn’t require spending loads of money. I’m estranged my own family, so I haven’t had a gift from my mum in years.

Terrifictiger · 05/12/2025 22:01

We don’t do adult present giving at all in our extended family. It seems utterly pointless. We all have decent careers and money of our own so buy ourselves what we need.

FastTurtle · 05/12/2025 22:05

Will you be seeing them on the day?

FastTurtle · 05/12/2025 22:05

mindutopia · 05/12/2025 21:58

MIL gives us a hamper for Christmas, maybe £20-30. We tend to do the same for her. It’s a lovely gesture. We all love the treats and it doesn’t require spending loads of money. I’m estranged my own family, so I haven’t had a gift from my mum in years.

Hampers are a lovely idea.

youalright · 05/12/2025 22:06

The people spending £100+ on adult children who have more money then yourselves, how much are they spending on you

Meadowflower2023 · 05/12/2025 22:10

@youalright does it really matter? Not everyone gives to receive.

B0D · 05/12/2025 22:14

My adult dd and sil who both earn more than me spent between 250 - 300£ on me last year, I wish they wouldn’t it feels such a waste.
I spend £50 -100 on DD and less on SIL. When there are grand children I intend to spend on them and less on the adults

YourAquaLion · 05/12/2025 22:20

Our entire family and DH family agreed no more than £10 per adult for Xmas as it just gets ridiculous, preferably second hand from a charity shop. Kids of course get whatever you like priced prezzies from everyone but there’s only one so far! So my Xmas bill comes to a very nice £100. And then my kid probs £100 too. Sorted. The turkey is the main expense! A friend of mine has 4 kids and still also buys for all her siblings, her DH siblings and all their kids, godkids and all the grandparents! About 40 people in total! Good lord that must be a lot of admin and very expensive! Count me out. 🤣

youalright · 05/12/2025 22:28

The money goes on the kids a token present for the adults. Christmas for me as an adult is about time with family, good food and drink, some games and watching the kids opening there presents. I really don't want family wasting money on me if there is something I want i just buy it myself

Chiefangel · 05/12/2025 22:39

I spend around £100 each on my adult children. They all earn way much more than me but they are my children and I like to spoil them at Christmas. I get them gifts according to their likes or hobbies. But they each individually get me gifts that are equally as thoughtful.

Cadenza12 · 05/12/2025 22:40

I've just ordered a couple of games for adult children. One family thingy another a card game. One year I bought an escape room game, around £25 mark. There's an online Italian deli where you could get things together to make an Italian meal. You may get something in the sales which seem to be starting early.

2old4thispoo · 05/12/2025 22:43

That's absolutely fine.
I left home at 16, my mum has never bought me a Christmas present since.

With my own adult dc, I spend about £100 on them, this year less about £60 as I've bought them something they asked for.

mondaytosunday · 05/12/2025 22:44

Mine are 20 (at uni) and 22 (earning minimum wage and living on his own).
I promised my son I’d help him buy a car, so this year it will be quite a lot- £3000 I guess (only possible as I sold a painting). But in a normal year I’d give him £200 cash to spend on clothes and a few things - this year I’m making him a throw in his footie team colours, a phone battery bank, pjs. So say with the cash about £300 altogether any year other than this one.
My DD is very frugal and the kind to say she doesn’t want anything. I’m making her a poncho and scarf and hat she requested. Also pjs, sweater and phone battery bank and a mini paint set. So for her also about £150. The cost of the throw for my son and her poncho and scarf is in hours. Hours and hours.
I have stepsons (their father died 15 years ago) in their 30s but since they had kids I don’t give them anything but spend about £50 on each of their kids (there are four of them).

I’m also paying for my DDs driving lessons which adds up!
They both get me gifts but really can’t afford much. Say £20-30 from each.
Other than that I give to my sisters amd niece who live abroad so will bring something when I visit them later in the year. I spend about £50 on my niece and £75 on each sister. We adults are all in our 60s.

pinenuts75 · 05/12/2025 22:46

I think I might get them some small presents too.

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