Adult children at Christmas

[pinenuts75]

How much do you all spend on your adult kids at Christmas? My two are 25 and 27, I’m on my own and honestly they earn more money than me, I’ve got them a £20 gift card each and some chocolates, but it just doesn’t seem a lot, feel I need to get them something else.

Your sons will look forward to spending Xmas with you and will love whatever they receive from you. You are a fantastic lady to rear them on your own.

Our eldest has bought my husband an £8/900 Lego set

@Okiedokie123 super weird to take offence on behalf of the OP. I answered the actual question in the op. I’m not responsible for you personally feeling all triggered. Weirdo.

My parents probably spend similar to what @RollyPollyBatFacespends. Fair enough if the OP can’t afford to spend more but there is a lot of “when my child turns 18 they will get a sweetie out the celebration tub and like it” on this website.

I’m 42, my Mum probably spends £50 between me & DH for Christmas. This year we’re busy with a toddler and DH working away so have agreed not to do presents at all, they’ll spend £50 on something nice for them and we’ll do the same. Don’t compare yourself to others OP.

From a daughter's perspective, I earn more than my mum by a hefty amount, I'd never expect her to "spoil" me anymore. I want my mum's company over Christmas, not her cash. More than happy with a box of chocolates and something small, like a new pair of slippers or pjs. Makes me much happier seeing my mum enjoy spending time with her grandkids and getting to put her feet up at Christmas eating and drinking all the things at ours that she wouldn't buy for herself, not worrying about how many presents she's got me or what she's spent. I'm sure a lot of adult kids are the same!

I buy for my 4 AC, their partners and GC. They all have the same amount (roughly). Small gift for DH and an old friend.

That's insane why would you take that level of money of your kid. I'm assuming you get the same so they're spending nearly 2k on presents for you and dh.

@RollyPollyBatFace triggered lol.

Absolutely this...
Having the privilege to watch your children grow into wonderful young adults is the best gift in the world,
but, for those of us who can afford to still treat them and enjoy doing so, it's not important;
the most important is that our children are loved and, if they love us in return, it is the best privilege in the world

In my family, adults spend £30 on each other (although my parents spend £60 on each of us because they want to and are in a position to).

@youalright why is it insane? And why should present giving be transactional. I don’t spend exactly the same on people. I get what they like and would appreciate.
And my older children have treated me. Perhaps they want to do something nice for their dad?

I just would hate my children or anyone to spend that sort of money on me. But Christmas isn't about presents for me its about spending time with family not someone spending thousands of pounds on presents thats why I said its insane.

About 100 each. One gets one thing that she asked for, the other gets three gifts totalling the same amount. Both are specific about not wasting money on small bits in stockings.

OP I would rather have time than presents with my children. Over the years we have spent differing amounts depending on the financial health of spenders. The value never matters.

I've become more minimalist and hate consumerism so the post listing loads of expensive clutter would make me shudder.

My dad always gave me cash in his later years. I was glad because I'd have treasured any gift but not necessarily enjoyed his choice.

Don't worry about value. Life is deeper than the superficial consumerism of Christmas. Don't compare yourself to anyone on here or in real life. The surface is never a good representation of whats really going on.

Everyone is different. My parents gave us a £500 gift card, in laws will probably give us a £20 gift card. Neither are short of money, they just do Christmas in different ways?
I tend to go quite big at Christmas but I usually spend it on things we can all do together, so holidays etc. The older I get, the more I value time.

Sou perfect. I think they will be just looking forward to seeing you and spending time together. Everything you’ve already given to your two Ds is priceless.

Honestly - what could you possibly but with a £20 gift voucher - it will likely just be regifted. I would do something thoughtful like a stocking. Nice hand cream, good book, box of chocs, fave bottle of wine, bubbles for the bath. A homemade Christmas cracker. Anything but a voucher. It's so impersonal. Even if they asked for it, I would not gift this. What is the point?

I have three in their 20's. Spend around £150 each on older two (both working earn double my income). Around £200 on youngest (student). Can't afford it really but don't know how to transition from 'child-level presents' to 'adult token gifts'.

They specifically said it’s what they want they don’t want anything else, that is the point, but I am getting them other small presents too.

well I’ve decided I’m going to do them a stocking each as well, although I can guarantee they will both say the gift cards would be enough, because they are so thoughtful loving and kind, they aren’t really bothered about presents to be honest, if only the world was full of people like my two sons it would be a much happier place.

You are 100% correct. Your sons sound wonderful man and that’s down to you being a great mum.
Please don’t spend more money on stockings if that means you will struggle for money. we all do a secret Santa with our adult DDs and their partners. So there are 6 people altogether and we only have to buy one present, we have a limit of £50. It works
really well.

Thank you 😊 it will be ok it will only be small presents, secret Santa sounds good.

I love a voucher, my DS often buys me a coffee shop one and my friend and I have a yummy cake and coffee together in January with the voucher.

Why would you regift a voucher? You'd just spend it. It's literally the least likely to be regifted... gift going.

Hand cream: I have loads unused already
Book: clutter. I download on my tablet and tbh know what I like
Chocs: can always eat them but am trying to avoid
Wine: ditto but its just a bottle of wine and I don't value alcohol....I'd probably rather have a nice hot chocolate
Bubble bath: have loads of these. I just don't use them.

So everyone's idea of something personal is different. Which is why spending (wasting) money to express your love is not the best way. Listen to your family who are telling you what they want. I feel the same. I don't want for anything. I know I don't want more things.