Adult children at Christmas

[pinenuts75]

How much do you all spend on your adult kids at Christmas? My two are 25 and 27, I’m on my own and honestly they earn more money than me, I’ve got them a £20 gift card each and some chocolates, but it just doesn’t seem a lot, feel I need to get them something else.

Yes I will

@pinenuts75 why not make them a stocking of a few bits? I get my adult sons things like Nike socks, Nando’s peri peri sauce (big bottle), chocolate coins, little Lego set. Just a few bits they might not buy themselves but will appreciate.

I spend between £300-£500 on each of mine. My youngest is at home and he’s 19 and my eldest is 27 and has her own house

it probably sounds a lot but it honestly doesn’t go particularly far! An example this year …

have got my daughter a coffee machine, an echo show and a kindle. Some make up and beauty bits . Came to £450

my son has new AirPods, some air force 1s and aftershave: Those three items alone were £400

I add in a hamper of snacks for each of them and a stocking

what can I say? I love Christmas and I love spoiling them and I start shopping in September. I’ve always been the same and I can’t see me changing tbh.

we all do stuff differently though. I can’t imagine having over a 20 quid gift card and some chocolate but if that’s all you can afford and what they want then it’s FINE

my eldest earns triple what I earn as she has a very good career and she spends about £400 on me. My son has a part time job and spends about £100. I do not expect nor ask for this!

we just all love Christmas and gift giving

What do you normally buy them?

My parents and in laws spend about £20 per adult child and they host Christmas lunch. I'm very happy with that and wouldn't want them to spend more.
Usually books, card games etc.

Wish I could spoil mine and i do feel bad for handing over a £20 gift card, but I brought them up on my own and have had the privilege of seeing them grow up into two wonderful men, which expensive presents can’t buy 😊

Yes I will do this

We have agreed token presents on the day and they are given money as well. Seems a bit Scrooge not have something to open.

I usually make a cake for my adult children. And give them a couple of small things in a stocking like books and a bottle of beer.

have had the privilege of seeing them grow up into two wonderful men, which expensive presents can’t buy
That's worth all the fancy presents in the world, to be so proud of your son's.

The people spending £100+ on adult children who have more money then yourselves, how much are they spending on you

It's not about how much people spend. I spend a lot on my adult children who are in good careers because they will always be my kids and I love to treat them.
They started spending a lot on us - expensive restaurant vouchers and weekends away, but I put a stop to it because I would far rather they spent the money on themselves. I now give them ideas for small but inexpensive things we would like, preferably no hampers.

I’m an adult child. We do a secret Santa for the adults spending £20 each so everyone has something to open. My mum still does me and my sister stockings (43 & 45!) either useful bits like hand cream, face wipes etc plus chocolate and a mini bottle of fizz. Something like that might be nice and not too expensive.

We spend more because we can afford it. How ever if we couldnt I would make a hamper. Put in the gift card, the chocolates, pick them up socks, some smelly type of things, a mug for something they are interested in. Maybe some of their fav snacks

If they drive car freshers are a big hit here for some reason!

@RollyPollyBatFace your £300-500 os a lot yes. And it’s not going very far because you are buying them very expensive stuff!
They will love you just as much if you spend less.

@pinenuts75 dont worry about it honestly . They love you, you love them. You are proud of their achievements in life, that’s what counts. xxx

I would get them each a couple more small presents that show you have put some thought into it. Chocolates and gift card are not personal.

E.g. Something linked to their favourite food - if they like curry, get them some nice pickles or rare spices; if they like cheese, get them some chutney and fancy crackers. If they like wine, you can buy a pair of crystal wine glasses very cheaply in charity shops. Or a beautiful mug if they love drinking tea.

Maybe a book each on subjects that fascinate them - sport, cars, art, architecture, fashion, cooking, animals or by an author they love.

I buy small things that aren't expensive. DS2 is weirdly obsessed with different scents, but not snobbish. He loves things like Oud and Cedar bath stuff from Bayliss and Harding for only £3. DS1 loves vintage stuff, and dresses quite smartly so I can pick up vintage cufflinks for him for next to nothing at charity shops.

Do they need a bit of down time - even small things like a Superdrug facemask, a massage bar from Lush and fluffy Primark socks can show you think they deserve a bit of a rest. And they cost a pound or two.

My parents spend around £70 on me and my brothers (30s and 40s).

Don't worry about it OP. I can't imagine that 2 grown men expect their single mum on a low income to get expensive presents. They're lucky to get anything at all. I stopped buying my adult son presents ages ago and asked him not to buy me anything. Neither of us need more "stuff".

I think this is all very individual depending on circumstances. We tend to spend between £100-£200 on both Ds and his partner. But we only have the one DC and we can afford it , so why wouldn’t we treat them? If you are by yourself and your DC earn more than you, then it’s a different situation.

@pinenuts75 then that’s great. They’re lovely young men and clearly don’t expect anything extravagant.

@Okiedokie123 yeh I’m aware of that. We all do things differently don’t we? We all have different budgets and priorities

23 and 20. £100 main present plus about £50 bits/surprises.

About £150-£200 each, I think.

Sounds good to me. I’m 42 and hoping I’ll get some bubble bath, hand cream and some chocolate. 🥰

I’m most looking forward to spending a few days together and helping to cook Christmas lunch.

Super weird to be on a thread where the op is feeling bad about having a lot less to spend and basically brag about how much you’ve got…. But it doesn’t go very far because its expensive stuff. But hey we all do things differently don’t we.
You kiddos maybe do expect extravagant stuff. Maybe they aren’t as lovely as the ops? (Based on your own logic from your own comments)

26 year old DD

running trainers
air pods
faux fur coat
stubble back pack
truffle oil
vitamins
book
notepad

Mine are late teens/young adults but I spend about £250 each and will probably continue to do so.