Adult children at Christmas

[pinenuts75]

How much do you all spend on your adult kids at Christmas? My two are 25 and 27, I’m on my own and honestly they earn more money than me, I’ve got them a £20 gift card each and some chocolates, but it just doesn’t seem a lot, feel I need to get them something else.

I have bought friends and family vouchers to nice tea shops/beach cafés. Always popular

Your sons have asked for a voucher and that’s what they’ve got. I wouldn’t feel bad about the amount, a gift is a gift. Just because someone can afford to spend £450 it doesn’t matter, everyone has different budgets.

What is the point?

Because that’s what they’ve asked for!
I’d much prefer a voucher for a store I use to a hand cream and a book. I’m dairy intolerant so I wouldn’t eat chocolates, I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t use bubble bath so over your gift and a voucher I’d say your gift is more likely to be regifted.

My DM gives all of us £50.00 in a Christmas card to buy something we want and something small like a box of chocolates to open.

I have spent around £200 on gifts on my sons this Christmas plus stocking fillers. I'll probably give them some money to top it up. They are 20 and 25.

You spend what you can afford and no more. My mum lives abroad so doesn’t buy for us but I know she wouldn’t spend more than £20 each. My MIL buys us a bottle each, maybe a smellies set of some kind and gives us some cash. How much she gives changes but it’s usually in the region of £50 each but could be less. Some years she gave us money for all four of us for a day out, last year kids got their own and DH and I got £100 to share.

Exactly 👍

I have two children and a son in law. I spend £100 approx on each of them . To be fair, I can afford to. Just because they are adults, doesn't change that they're my children. I spend slightly less on my grandsons.

Of course I don’t get the same , we are not a price match family , he has bought him it because he thinks his dad will like it and because he has the money to do so . I don’t feel that I’m ’taking money off my kid’ , our adult , very well off child is buying the presents he wishes to buy .

As long as you can afford to do this and you won’t be left without essentials yourself.

Please don’t let better-off MNers guilt you into spending money you don’t have on presents your DC’s don’t need.

About £400 across two children, 20 & 25. That includes new board games that we play in the afternoon, it’s what we do every year.
But that’s my choice. I love the whole present giving.

But TBH the present giving is only half an hour out of our day. Spending time together is the thing we all value the most and that’s what makes the day memorable for us.

I love the feeling of shutting out the world for the day, it’s the only time of year we get that luxury

I give mine a £150 budget for main gift then ido a small stocking for about £50-60. I have 3 adult DC. I give a stocking for SiL and ds's gf.

My DDs are teens now so I buy them a main present - DD17 is having a velvetiser & DD15 sent me links to some clothes she likes. I buy them stocking fillers through the year. Razors, mini sanitizer, chocolate coins etc. in total I probably spend about £200 on each of them … but it will definitely be less once they’re working and earning.

I usually give my AC money for Christmas, unless there is something particular that they want.

It's tricky at this age (mine are the same). A new cookbook, cash or vouchers are always appreciated. Can you give them something related to their hobbies or interests? Good luck!

Eldest (35DS) suggested that we do a secret santa type thing where we only buy one present for £35 - youngest (22DS) thought it was great having to buy just 1 - until he realised he'd only get 1 present - now he's gutted ! - It's going to save me a fortune !!!

Why dont you buy bits all year round when you see things on sale etc and think of them, thats the easist way xx

I don't understand why anyone faffs around with gift cards. It's just inconvenient money....! Give me a £20 note over a gift card I will constantly forget to spend any day!

I think you do need to get them something a bit more personal, unless they've made it very clear they are just expecting what you've already got.

Adult family members agreed no more presents years ago. We all donate to whatever charity instead.

OP, you say you have raised two lovely lads, and as such they will be happy and appreciative of whatever gift you give them. There are always going to be massive variations in what people gift in their own families, and that’s because there are massive variations in financial circumstances. Gift what you personally can afford and are comfortable with.

What you have bought them is enough, I buy some christmas chocolate, bubble bath or bath bomb, shower gel /deodorant for our sons in their 20’s ( both earn more than me)
I dont remember getting anything from my parents once I moved out at age 18 (different times late 80’s) maybe a chocolate orange ?
My parents were lovely, not tight but I guess they thought-phew thats it ! I was the youngest of 6!
I remember being excited to buy them
gifts with my wages
I say to our boys dont spend much on us, all seems a waste-i say lets just have a relaxing time, some nice food, no pressure.

Myself and my Brother are in our 40's. For years our Mum has spent about £25-30 on us. Its more than enough. We're working adults, and I have two children. I would hate to think anyone was getting themselves into debt to buy me things i'm able to buy myself. I get the most pleasure from seeing my childrens faces at Christmas.

Don't spend more than you can afford. Your time with them is priceless

I am an adult child (although older than your children), and my parents are boomers so are much better off than me and my husband despite us being decent middle income earners. They usually get me something for about £20-30 (usually something I want or occasionally money towards something more expensive), and then my mum will get me a few little extra things like a book or a pair of socks, maybe some chocolates I like but wouldn’t buy for myself. I tend to get them also something each for about £20 that either they’ve asked for or that I think they would like, and maybe a small food item too.

My mum spends around £35 on me for a main present (and the same on my wife, haha) as well as some smaller, simple things like chocolates, books, toiletries, and a stocking. I think whatever you can afford will be appreciated! I am just grateful that she still gets me anything at my ripe old age 😂 I like to spoil her now that I'm an adult and can afford to get her something nice.