Infinitesimal Passive Aggressive acts...

FridayNightFever · 2025-12-04T18:07:21+00:00

I have a few little tiny things that give me a little bit of glee in a slightly passive aggressive way... For eg... We have some nice cutlery and some not quite so nice. When giving it out at dinner time, I will give the slightly less nice stuff to the person in my family who has annoyed me the most. I'm almost certain nobody has a clue (the differences between nice/not nice are tiny) but I get quiet satisfaction from doing this. When sending an email to colleagues, I'll add them in the 'To' box in the order of current favourite to least. Again, I'm certain they won't notice but it gives me a little bit of pass agg joy. Does anyone else do things like this?

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/12/2025 18:10

😀Gloriously bonkers!

Imisscoffee2021 · 04/12/2025 18:11

Hmm, I actually did the other day to my most beloved nearest and dearest, my wonderful husband 😆 he's amazing and genuinely does 50/50 parenting and housework but he has this wierd thing where I noticed he never ever opens a new toothpaste, he will squeeeeze the last drop out and I'll end up opening the box because I just can't squeeze that hard apparently.

It's so not a big deal but one of those marriage things over time when I was opening yet another toothpaste box and thought... never again.

So I now hide the toothpaste that has almost gone after I used it so he has to open the box. A gloriously fresh, fat toothpaste tube that I didn't have to open now awaits me, no more box opening servitude!

Fionasapples · 04/12/2025 18:29

I hated my grandma's second husband, he was a dirty old man and very arrogant. When they came round and I set the table, I always gave him a fork that I hated. We had a set of cups and saucers and one had a minute chip on the rim and if I made a cup of tea, I always gave him the chipped one.

twiddleit · 04/12/2025 18:37

Imisscoffee2021 · 04/12/2025 18:11

Hmm, I actually did the other day to my most beloved nearest and dearest, my wonderful husband 😆 he's amazing and genuinely does 50/50 parenting and housework but he has this wierd thing where I noticed he never ever opens a new toothpaste, he will squeeeeze the last drop out and I'll end up opening the box because I just can't squeeze that hard apparently.

It's so not a big deal but one of those marriage things over time when I was opening yet another toothpaste box and thought... never again.

So I now hide the toothpaste that has almost gone after I used it so he has to open the box. A gloriously fresh, fat toothpaste tube that I didn't have to open now awaits me, no more box opening servitude!

lol, are you married to my husband?

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:43

Yes! I'm so thrilled I'm not alone in my pointless revenge shenanigans.

Not quite the same but I always give myself the best bit when serving food too. As in, the food is very consistent usually but if there's one particularly crispy roast potato, I'll have it. Maybe this is just mean (although, my kids etc still get great roast potatoes. I just get the best one 😁).

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scalt · 04/12/2025 18:45

My mum does this with displaying Christmas cards: some on the left, some on the right of a big double door. The vulgar cartoonish ones go on the left, so the fronts are less visible.

MyThreeWords · 04/12/2025 18:49

When I am making tea for someone who has merited a passive aggressive attack, I always put the boiling water in my cup first, and then theirs, in the belief that my tea will be imperceptibly better than theirs as a result.

Ha Ha you got burned, resented loved one.

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 19:18

MyThreeWords · 04/12/2025 18:49

When I am making tea for someone who has merited a passive aggressive attack, I always put the boiling water in my cup first, and then theirs, in the belief that my tea will be imperceptibly better than theirs as a result.

Ha Ha you got burned, resented loved one.

Gosh I love this one. I'm absolutely adding it to my list.

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Imisscoffee2021 · 04/12/2025 19:26

I remembered one from years ago, I had a flat mate who would drink and eat anyone's food in the fridge, especially the little luxuries. He'd get in really late and the gluttonous (but delightful otherwise) fella would devour whatever he wanted, always very sorry the next day.

Because he drank from the bottle with his own drinks (and probably the communal milk), I'd sometimes just pour a bit out of his coke bottle in the fridge into the sink, to balance out the guzzling but not able to drink it myself as his mouth had been on it.

canuckup · 04/12/2025 20:12

I do the current favourite thing in the 'to' box too

As long as the usual 'with all due respect' bollocks as well

Interpink · 04/12/2025 20:25

I used to always get my husband to do the nappy sniff test when the babies had done the shittiest stinkers ever and he would get a lungful. He fell for it every time. Then I divorced him.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 04/12/2025 20:31

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:43

Yes! I'm so thrilled I'm not alone in my pointless revenge shenanigans.

Not quite the same but I always give myself the best bit when serving food too. As in, the food is very consistent usually but if there's one particularly crispy roast potato, I'll have it. Maybe this is just mean (although, my kids etc still get great roast potatoes. I just get the best one 😁).

It's called Cook's Privilege - as impressed on me by my late DM.😂

You cook, you get the pick of the tasty morsels before anyone else gets a look-in.

Leafy3 · 04/12/2025 20:35

My friend will make someone a deliberately bad cup of tea if she's pissed off with them

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:13

Leafy3 · 04/12/2025 20:35

My friend will make someone a deliberately bad cup of tea if she's pissed off with them

Have you ever been the recipient of a substandard brew @Leafy3 ?

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Staybymw · 04/12/2025 22:17

I don’t like passive aggressiveness find it quite sad

MyThreeWords · 04/12/2025 22:19

Would you like a cup of tea, @Staybymw ?

Mayflower282 · 04/12/2025 22:21

Staybymw · 04/12/2025 22:17

I don’t like passive aggressiveness find it quite sad

I agree, life is too short to be this bitter 🙄

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:21

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 04/12/2025 20:31

It's called Cook's Privilege - as impressed on me by my late DM.😂

You cook, you get the pick of the tasty morsels before anyone else gets a look-in.

Show quote history

Yes, BUT it has to be secret for me to get the thrill I seek. If I was to announce "Cook's privilege' (even just to myself) and take the best I wouldn't get the same sense of quiet justice.

It's the subtefuge, combined with extreme subtlety (in that the victim wouldn't notice because the crime is so incredibly insignificant) that is the magic formula for me.

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KateShugakIsALegend · 04/12/2025 22:23

When the DC were little I would put their party bags sweets in a high kitchen cupboard as soon as we got home.

When they drove me insane I would retreat into the kitchen and eat some of them behind the open cupboard door.

God, the satisfaction.

ThePure · 04/12/2025 22:24

I can safely say I have never done any of this stuff nor wanted to. Seems very odd and petty to me. I can’t imagine being this bitter. I guess I am one of the not noticing people being subtly dissed with sub standard cutlery and email address ordering. You are right I will never notice. Whatever makes you happy I guess.

Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 22:25

Staybymw · 04/12/2025 22:17

I don’t like passive aggressiveness find it quite sad

I really really dislike passive aggression. It can be incredibly cruel when people who are somewhat vulnerable sense it is being applied and lose their mind trying to make sense of the dissonance between the mask of the person in front of them and the PA behavior they see or sense or question endlessly.

It is significantly more therapeutic to write in a diary, even if you need to say this person is an absolute cunt in that diary to get it out. Then destroy it because if anyone is seeing that it is going to be a right clanger 😆.

You will then feel less and less power less, resentful, pissed off with things other people do because you're processing it in a healthy way.

I also imagine round house kicking people that get on my tits. No PA needed after all that.

Anyhoo......😆😆

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:26

Staybymw · 04/12/2025 22:17

I don’t like passive aggressiveness find it quite sad

OK. But I'm not really sure passive aggressive is actually the right term.

It's so passive it's inconsequential. It's giving someone a slightly less nice fork to eat their food with, or typing names in an email in a seemingly random order that really means something to you.

It's turning my irks into smirks without anyone noticing. It's just for me.

I agree that true passive aggressiveness isn't nice.

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Leafy3 · 04/12/2025 22:28

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:13

Have you ever been the recipient of a substandard brew @Leafy3 ?

Show quote history

Not from her lol

Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 22:28

KateShugakIsALegend · 04/12/2025 22:23

When the DC were little I would put their party bags sweets in a high kitchen cupboard as soon as we got home.

When they drove me insane I would retreat into the kitchen and eat some of them behind the open cupboard door.

God, the satisfaction.

Jeez. I did this. I did it because of being a greedy, sugar crazed glutton 😆.

I do confess though.' Yes I was after a sugar fix and ate it all. I'll replace kids. Don't worry. '

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:29

ThePure · 04/12/2025 22:24

I can safely say I have never done any of this stuff nor wanted to. Seems very odd and petty to me. I can’t imagine being this bitter. I guess I am one of the not noticing people being subtly dissed with sub standard cutlery and email address ordering. You are right I will never notice. Whatever makes you happy I guess.

Thank you.
It's not bitter (I'm not bitter) but I guess it is a bit petty. In a very small way.
Meh.

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