Page 2 | Infinitesimal Passive Aggressive acts...

socialdilemmawhattodo · 04/12/2025 22:29

This is the best thread, ever. Sorry that might be slightly passive etc. But it is so funny!

Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 22:30

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:26

OK. But I'm not really sure passive aggressive is actually the right term.

It's so passive it's inconsequential. It's giving someone a slightly less nice fork to eat their food with, or typing names in an email in a seemingly random order that really means something to you.

It's turning my irks into smirks without anyone noticing. It's just for me.

I agree that true passive aggressiveness isn't nice.

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Yeah I agree. If it is so micro expressed then I think it helps restore some control when you feel people have been dicks in their behavior.

I have noticed the email order thing though with other people. But if it's someone I know not to be PA then I don't read into it. If there's a history of PA then I see it and feel it.

VWT7 · 04/12/2025 22:31

When (usually men) try to push rudely past me in confined spaces / at impossible pinch points / gym turnstiles - I’ve got really good at appearing to walk normally but hugely increasing my stride length (military level) - and leave them floundering.

Similarly when men can’t open jam jars - and I ask them to pass it over my way…

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:33

Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 22:25

I really really dislike passive aggression. It can be incredibly cruel when people who are somewhat vulnerable sense it is being applied and lose their mind trying to make sense of the dissonance between the mask of the person in front of them and the PA behavior they see or sense or question endlessly.

It is significantly more therapeutic to write in a diary, even if you need to say this person is an absolute cunt in that diary to get it out. Then destroy it because if anyone is seeing that it is going to be a right clanger 😆.

You will then feel less and less power less, resentful, pissed off with things other people do because you're processing it in a healthy way.

I also imagine round house kicking people that get on my tits. No PA needed after all that.

Anyhoo......😆😆

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But I don't think this is really PA (despite the title of the thread!). And I suppose I would probably prefer to give someone a slightly less nice (in my opinion, remember - they may feel differently) spoon to eat their ice cream with than imagine inflicting actual violence on them.

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Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 22:37

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Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:38

Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 22:30

Yeah I agree. If it is so micro expressed then I think it helps restore some control when you feel people have been dicks in their behavior.

I have noticed the email order thing though with other people. But if it's someone I know not to be PA then I don't read into it. If there's a history of PA then I see it and feel it.

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That's interesting re - the emails. I'm such an overthibker that I do wonder if they notice. It's funny because I send emails to these three colleagues all the time (we're a small team all doing the same role in different regions) and I really like all of them. I don't think they've ever pissed me off but sometimes someone might have been a little bit more helpful, or conversely a bit hard to get hold of, so I'll find myself doing this.
It is very weird, the more I think about it 😂

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Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:41

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Yeah, I agree. It's IMPERATIVE that they don't know - I'd be mortified. And there's no chance my family have figured out the cutlery thing.

Bit worried about the emails now, though.

Maybe I'll start visualising violence instead.

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labamba18 · 04/12/2025 22:42

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:07

I have a few little tiny things that give me a little bit of glee in a slightly passive aggressive way...

For eg... We have some nice cutlery and some not quite so nice. When giving it out at dinner time, I will give the slightly less nice stuff to the person in my family who has annoyed me the most. I'm almost certain nobody has a clue (the differences between nice/not nice are tiny) but I get quiet satisfaction from doing this.

When sending an email to colleagues, I'll add them in the 'To' box in the order of current favourite to least. Again, I'm certain they won't notice but it gives me a little bit of pass agg joy.

Does anyone else do things like this?

I think the email one is obvious because I always look where I land in someone’s list 😆

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:44

VWT7 · 04/12/2025 22:31

When (usually men) try to push rudely past me in confined spaces / at impossible pinch points / gym turnstiles - I’ve got really good at appearing to walk normally but hugely increasing my stride length (military level) - and leave them floundering.

Similarly when men can’t open jam jars - and I ask them to pass it over my way…

Ooh, this is a different thing but I'm the SAME. I can change a tyre and I LOVE saying no to passing men trying to help me. Once I changed a tyre after a man failed to do it. Greatest day of my life.

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RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 04/12/2025 22:44

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:21

Yes, BUT it has to be secret for me to get the thrill I seek. If I was to announce "Cook's privilege' (even just to myself) and take the best I wouldn't get the same sense of quiet justice.

It's the subtefuge, combined with extreme subtlety (in that the victim wouldn't notice because the crime is so incredibly insignificant) that is the magic formula for me.

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Ah, the thing is... my mum told me about it many years ago when I was a child. But I've never told my own family that I do it.😁

WingingItSince1973 · 04/12/2025 22:44

Gosh I wish I could do something like this when yet again the two other adults in the house haven’t changed the loo roll or put their shoes in the shoe cupboard instead of right next to it!! Really grates me. I’ve just threatened to hide all the loo rolls and carry my one with me! But then the alternative seems more hideous 🤢🤢🤢

Original poster

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:48

WingingItSince1973 · 04/12/2025 22:44

Gosh I wish I could do something like this when yet again the two other adults in the house haven’t changed the loo roll or put their shoes in the shoe cupboard instead of right next to it!! Really grates me. I’ve just threatened to hide all the loo rolls and carry my one with me! But then the alternative seems more hideous 🤢🤢🤢

Edited

Buy some slightly shit cutlery. Honestly - game changer.

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WallaceinAnderland · 04/12/2025 22:51

I make Sims characters of the people who have pissed me off and give them a shit life. I have some work colleagues under my complete control. I can make them wet themselves if I want. Mwa ha ha 😈

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 04/12/2025 23:04

WallaceinAnderland · 04/12/2025 22:51

I make Sims characters of the people who have pissed me off and give them a shit life. I have some work colleagues under my complete control. I can make them wet themselves if I want. Mwa ha ha 😈

Ok, that's some "Black Mirror" level shit. You scare me slightly.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 04/12/2025 23:07

A friend of mine has a pond with a collection of fugly great carp in it. She names them after people she doesn't like. Sometimes the pond attracts the attention of an enterprising heron.😂

Driftingawaynow · 04/12/2025 23:19

Interpink · 04/12/2025 20:25

I used to always get my husband to do the nappy sniff test when the babies had done the shittiest stinkers ever and he would get a lungful. He fell for it every time. Then I divorced him.

Hahahh

Namechangetime99 · 04/12/2025 23:20

WallaceinAnderland · 04/12/2025 22:51

I make Sims characters of the people who have pissed me off and give them a shit life. I have some work colleagues under my complete control. I can make them wet themselves if I want. Mwa ha ha 😈

Maybe we should get together. You can make a SIMS module out of my visualisations. 😆🚗

YouMightLikeCats · 04/12/2025 23:22

ThePure · 04/12/2025 22:24

I can safely say I have never done any of this stuff nor wanted to. Seems very odd and petty to me. I can’t imagine being this bitter. I guess I am one of the not noticing people being subtly dissed with sub standard cutlery and email address ordering. You are right I will never notice. Whatever makes you happy I guess.

I can’t imagine being this bitter....Whatever makes you happy I guess.

You're not doing too badly for a first-timer!

Joolsin · 04/12/2025 23:31

I love this, op, you're my kind of person!! A long time ago, after I got married, a colleague made a very condescending remark about whether or not I was going to change my name ... so I alternated signing both variations of my name on the weekly sign-off sheets I sent her. She was properly bamboozled, but it did backfire on me slightly as I ended up not sure what to call myself either!!! 😂

Mydadsbirthday · 05/12/2025 00:05

Staybymw · 04/12/2025 22:17

I don’t like passive aggressiveness find it quite sad

Finding this sad. Does the OP actually hate her family?

Meteorite87 · 05/12/2025 00:49

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:43

Yes! I'm so thrilled I'm not alone in my pointless revenge shenanigans.

Not quite the same but I always give myself the best bit when serving food too. As in, the food is very consistent usually but if there's one particularly crispy roast potato, I'll have it. Maybe this is just mean (although, my kids etc still get great roast potatoes. I just get the best one 😁).

If you cooked you are absolutely entitled to the best bits.

If you are serving up, well "first come, first served" 😉 Anyone bothered can volunteer to serve up.

PoppyWarrior · 05/12/2025 00:51

I'm amazed that people find this sad or said you are petty!!!

I find it highly amusing. Although I don't think I do anything like it. Never notice where my name comes in an email .... I'm going to look tomorrow.

Oh wait I do remove the "Best" in Best regards on an email if someone has pisses me off. But thinks that's quite a common one .

DysmalRadius · 05/12/2025 01:04

Staybymw · 04/12/2025 22:17

I don’t like passive aggressiveness find it quite sad

It's not for everyone - some people prefer to find amusing threads online and bring an unwelcome air of negativity to them.

DesparatePragmatist · 05/12/2025 01:15

I arrange birthday cards on the mantlepiece in a secret order relating to how much I like the sender. Its an uncrackable code known only to me and gives me a great sense of satisfaction. Great stuff, OP

Namechangetime99 · 05/12/2025 01:20

DesparatePragmatist · 05/12/2025 01:15

I arrange birthday cards on the mantlepiece in a secret order relating to how much I like the sender. Its an uncrackable code known only to me and gives me a great sense of satisfaction. Great stuff, OP

I do this. I do it entirely for myself and not as communication. I am alone most the time so it's a validation entirely for me where I can look at the cards order and say ' you deserve to be at the back right now 'to the card from a family member who has been particularly cruel over the years. Yeah I actually did this recently and said that to the card. 😆.