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Original poster

Infinitesimal Passive Aggressive acts...

167 replies

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:07

I have a few little tiny things that give me a little bit of glee in a slightly passive aggressive way...

For eg... We have some nice cutlery and some not quite so nice. When giving it out at dinner time, I will give the slightly less nice stuff to the person in my family who has annoyed me the most. I'm almost certain nobody has a clue (the differences between nice/not nice are tiny) but I get quiet satisfaction from doing this.

When sending an email to colleagues, I'll add them in the 'To' box in the order of current favourite to least. Again, I'm certain they won't notice but it gives me a little bit of pass agg joy.

Does anyone else do things like this?

OP posts:
Mydadsbirthday · 05/12/2025 07:16

Magnesiummaggie · 05/12/2025 07:10

You should check out the Luanna podcast OP there’s a section in there called Petty Polly, and that’s what these are.
When making dh and I coffee I always give him the first shot of espresso off the machine as it’s never as good as the ones that follow.
I can’t believe how upset some people are getting at these, they’re harmless - well maybe not email one of people are noticing and feeling upset.

It would never occur to me to give someone I love the worst of anything. Some of these are really sad.

Mydadsbirthday · 05/12/2025 07:17

BogStandardCake · 05/12/2025 06:13

I have big mugs and small cups for hot drinks so when ~inlaws~ people visit that I am not keen on they get the little "posh" cups so they drink up and bugger off quicker. My mates get the big mugs and a biscuit 😂

Do your in laws treat you poorly or is this just because they're your in laws?

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 05/12/2025 07:27

@Namechangetime99 was right, imo, it’s a way of exercising control over situations that are sub optimal. It’s a fight back against some of the small irritants that could otherwise get us down.

I don’t do any of this stuff, and think I’m missing out! It’s a good little stress reliever!

Soonenough · 05/12/2025 07:32

Can we please lighten up here? Gosh the saintly posters have no sense of humour. Maybe the OP should have included No actual harm came to the making of this post .

PeriMumEndofHerTether · 05/12/2025 07:55

These have given me a really good chuckle!!

I bake bread which is a lot of work so I always treat myself to the first warm slice as tax for the effort I've made.

Trumpton · 05/12/2025 07:55

Wigtopia · 05/12/2025 06:23

This is not mean, this is Chef Tax.

Show quote history

Known in my family as Carver’s Pickings. We would hang around when dad was carving and beg for the bits, he would chuckle and declare “Carver’s Pickings”!
We did get dinner by the way. We weren’t begging for scraps because we were starved.

If DH has really upset me I unlock the back door after he has locked up. He always checks it and is always surprised when it isn’t locked!

We celebrated our Golden Wedding this year so it hasn’t done us any harm. 🤣

Moonstone20 · 05/12/2025 08:02

These things are so minor that it is funny. Unlike the revenge threads that regularly pop up on Mumsnet that contain completely unhinged comments.

I limit myself to a ‘fuck you’ and middle finger when I’ve hung up a phone or to an email on screen. I do fear I’ll forget myself one day and I’ll be on a zoom and do it.

AngelinaFibres · 05/12/2025 08:03

'Turn your irks into smirks' is my new motto. Thank you Op.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/12/2025 08:10

Soonenough · 05/12/2025 07:32

Can we please lighten up here? Gosh the saintly posters have no sense of humour. Maybe the OP should have included No actual harm came to the making of this post .

yes - do they really never experience minor annoyances which would be petty to mention, or behaviours which you have ‘spoken to them like an adult’ about but without any effect? The OPs approach is better than seething or fruitless repeated mentioning (aka ‘nagging’Hmm).

AngelinaFibres · 05/12/2025 08:11

I have a secret 'death list ' in my head . Some people have been on it for years, some are added and then removed if they redeem themselves. I'm English, post menopausal and live in a beautiful village full of people who are lovely, vaguely annoying, worthy of being added to the 'death list' of people I would exit from life if I could get away with it ( lighthearted obviously before the saintly people have a crisis). I was chatting to someone in the village shop yesterday and it turns out she has a death list in her head too. She wasn't on mine and I wasn't on hers. Phew.

Original poster
FridayNightFever · 05/12/2025 08:16

Oh my. Some of you are clearly my people (and some of you clearly are not).

I definitely don't hate my family (well... My DP and I are in the process of navigating a split so I do spend most of my time calling him a cunt under my breath, but that's a whole other thread.). My kids are the lights of my life but they can still be arseholes and I, therefore, often give them a shit fork.

Unrelated but it somehow feels like it's in the same stable... I find it quite thrilling to fart when I'm in a remote meeting. Preferably loudly (when I'm on mute, obviously). This is clearly going to backfire on me.

OP posts:
breezyyy · 05/12/2025 08:22

FridayNightFever · 05/12/2025 08:16

Oh my. Some of you are clearly my people (and some of you clearly are not).

I definitely don't hate my family (well... My DP and I are in the process of navigating a split so I do spend most of my time calling him a cunt under my breath, but that's a whole other thread.). My kids are the lights of my life but they can still be arseholes and I, therefore, often give them a shit fork.

Unrelated but it somehow feels like it's in the same stable... I find it quite thrilling to fart when I'm in a remote meeting. Preferably loudly (when I'm on mute, obviously). This is clearly going to backfire on me.

Edited

Having just read the Alexa thread, be afraid it might just inform everyone how your preceding beans on toast made a follow up appointment!

YouMightLikeCats · 05/12/2025 08:23

ThePoetsWife · 05/12/2025 06:38

Bloody hell - life is way too short to be this petty and pathetic!

It doesn't take any extra time to list CC names or dish out cutlery in one order vs the other, does it?

TheBabyFatmoss · 05/12/2025 08:23

I used to have a work stalker - a horrible constantly moaning witch who hated children and definitely shouldn’t have been working with them. She would constantly second guess everything I did and try and report me for non issues ( which my line manager always ignored ). I didn’t work Mondays so when I left for the week I’d take great pleasure in saying “ Janet, see you next Tuesday “. I was hoping she’d raise another fake complaint about it but it must have gone over her head.

scalt · 05/12/2025 08:28

For those who do the names in a certain order, how do you know if it displays like that at the other end? For all you know, they are shown in alphabetical order, by default? Or is the act so tiny, that it doesn't really matter?

Perhaps Roald Dahl gave some people on this thread ideas, with the terrible things the Twits do to each other, Matilda dishing out "punishments" to her parents, and telling how cooks spat on the plate of an old lady who complained about tough meat (The Witches).

Gloriousgardener11 · 05/12/2025 08:37

My father in law, who I loath and detest, used to turn up at meal times as he was ‘just passing!’

He'd end up staying for a meal but he was super particular about his health so no butter or cream for him.
Well obviously I’d get my own back at this CF so I’d put extra butter in his mashed potatoes and not ours.
I’d also but butter on his carrots so they were beautifully glossy and clotted cream on any pudding he had but I’d tell him it was posh yogurt.
He also had the kids full fat milk in his tea and coffee.
Oh, and I also gave him the dodgy knife and fork and the plate with the slight chip on the rim.
The satisfaction I had from watching him tuck in was priceless!

Pandasarethebest · 05/12/2025 08:44

When i worked on the checkouts as a teenager. If a customer was rude to me, I may have crushed the crisps they were buying as I scanned them through! Sorry not sorry.

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 05/12/2025 09:00

I have to write the staff names on a white board each morning to say who is on duty. I always put my least favourite colleagues at the bottom. Of course they would never know!

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 05/12/2025 09:10

I used to make my FIL tea in the 'wrong' cup .... I did this because once, my lovely DP, dared made FIL's tea in the wrong cup (total accident) and FIL threw it in the bushes (we were sat in the garden) and refused to drink it.

He was a horrible man and I am glad he is dead.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 05/12/2025 09:12

FridayNightFever · 05/12/2025 08:16

Oh my. Some of you are clearly my people (and some of you clearly are not).

I definitely don't hate my family (well... My DP and I are in the process of navigating a split so I do spend most of my time calling him a cunt under my breath, but that's a whole other thread.). My kids are the lights of my life but they can still be arseholes and I, therefore, often give them a shit fork.

Unrelated but it somehow feels like it's in the same stable... I find it quite thrilling to fart when I'm in a remote meeting. Preferably loudly (when I'm on mute, obviously). This is clearly going to backfire on me.

Edited

Be careful with the farting...I usually WFH - but was in the office on a zoom call and totally forgot I wasn't at home and let rip...

howthemoonshines · 05/12/2025 09:19

ooh yes I love this! it makes the day a bit more amusing

At work, if I send an email to someone I dislike I always sign it "regards". Usually it's "kind regards" its a sign to myself of saying fuck you.

On linkedin, if someone I know posts something I disagree with, I will often like the opposite sentiment on a different post so it comes up in their feed

I have a very active imagination and I often re-write real life scenes in my head and make the other person say exactly what I want them to say to me. Sometimes I do this immediately after its happened and it immediately takes away any stress I felt following the conversation. It takes like, 2 mins but its very cathartic

One time someone at work kept emailing me but kept getting my name wrong - I politely reminded her of my actual name but she kept doing it. So, the next email I replied to from her, I deliberately got her name wrong. It was petty AF but very satisfying

BeNoisyFish · 05/12/2025 09:23

I always notice who the sender thought of first in email lists and did see a pattern of favourites and mates being up there first on a group email.

breezyyy · 05/12/2025 09:28

BeNoisyFish · 05/12/2025 09:23

I always notice who the sender thought of first in email lists and did see a pattern of favourites and mates being up there first on a group email.

Ah, now we have someone who recognises the passive aggression!

It would be great to hear more of the same. Give the thread more of a balance.

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/12/2025 09:29

BeNoisyFish · 05/12/2025 09:23

I always notice who the sender thought of first in email lists and did see a pattern of favourites and mates being up there first on a group email.

Well that makes sense even if it’s not deliberate. I often have to send an email to the 6 people who are in the team I used to be in. One is a woman I know very well, see outside of work, our kids are friends etc, then there are two who I worked with in that team, and the other 3 have joined the team since I left and I don’t really know them. I never deliberately order the email addresses but I probably just think of the three I don’t know last.

Original poster
FridayNightFever · 05/12/2025 09:30

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 05/12/2025 09:12

Be careful with the farting...I usually WFH - but was in the office on a zoom call and totally forgot I wasn't at home and let rip...

Show quote history

Oh. My. God.
I know I'm going to do it when unmuted one day. But I suppose the risk is part of the thrill.

OP posts: