Page 3 | Infinitesimal Passive Aggressive acts...

Aviri · 05/12/2025 01:32

I set up.music stands for the orchestra. Those who have been a bit dickish the previous rehearsal get the ones with slightly wonky page arms. If they've been really dickish I bend them a little more out of shape. You may call it passive aggressive. I like to call it Mozartian feedback.

Petpeeveoftheday · 05/12/2025 01:41

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:41

Yeah, I agree. It's IMPERATIVE that they don't know - I'd be mortified. And there's no chance my family have figured out the cutlery thing.

Bit worried about the emails now, though.

Maybe I'll start visualising violence instead.

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Whenever I visualise violence I always end up feeling really guilty 😅

VoltaireMittyDream · 05/12/2025 01:43

DesparatePragmatist · 05/12/2025 01:15

I arrange birthday cards on the mantlepiece in a secret order relating to how much I like the sender. Its an uncrackable code known only to me and gives me a great sense of satisfaction. Great stuff, OP

But does this not add an extra level of stress as you try to make sure you’ve ranked them all correctly? I think I would be constantly re-arranging them as I changed my mind about my preferences and allegiances!

Slinkyminky22 · 05/12/2025 01:50

I have a (ex) friend who does that thing with the listing in order of liking. I was always the very last name, without fail, in emails or tagging on Facebook or the like. It wouldn't matter who else was in the list. She also completely ignores my birthday on purpose. Both these things she does because she knows I'll notice but can't exactly mention it without sounding unhinged. Really strange behaviour from a supposed friend.

breezyyy · 05/12/2025 02:25

It’s an immemorial thing. Nothing new at all.

Goldwren1923 · 05/12/2025 02:41

People like you need therapy.
it’s a very sad life when you have to resort to passive aggressiveness and especially on that level

Soonenough · 05/12/2025 05:06

I mentally list all their faults and what I would write in a poison pen letter. Now that is unhinged.
The other side of this is that I reward people without them knowing it by giving them the good cutlery or the best portion.

tripleginandtonic · 05/12/2025 05:41

Imisscoffee2021 · 04/12/2025 18:11

Hmm, I actually did the other day to my most beloved nearest and dearest, my wonderful husband 😆 he's amazing and genuinely does 50/50 parenting and housework but he has this wierd thing where I noticed he never ever opens a new toothpaste, he will squeeeeze the last drop out and I'll end up opening the box because I just can't squeeze that hard apparently.

It's so not a big deal but one of those marriage things over time when I was opening yet another toothpaste box and thought... never again.

So I now hide the toothpaste that has almost gone after I used it so he has to open the box. A gloriously fresh, fat toothpaste tube that I didn't have to open now awaits me, no more box opening servitude!

Isn't the fun being the first one to squeeze the tube though.

BogStandardCake · 05/12/2025 06:13

I have big mugs and small cups for hot drinks so when ~inlaws~ people visit that I am not keen on they get the little "posh" cups so they drink up and bugger off quicker. My mates get the big mugs and a biscuit 😂

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/12/2025 06:21

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 04/12/2025 20:31

It's called Cook's Privilege - as impressed on me by my late DM.😂

You cook, you get the pick of the tasty morsels before anyone else gets a look-in.

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“Chef’s perks” is what we call it

Wigtopia · 05/12/2025 06:23

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:43

Yes! I'm so thrilled I'm not alone in my pointless revenge shenanigans.

Not quite the same but I always give myself the best bit when serving food too. As in, the food is very consistent usually but if there's one particularly crispy roast potato, I'll have it. Maybe this is just mean (although, my kids etc still get great roast potatoes. I just get the best one 😁).

This is not mean, this is Chef Tax.

Wigtopia · 05/12/2025 06:24

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/12/2025 06:21

“Chef’s perks” is what we call it

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Haha I love that it’s others have an actual name for it too!

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/12/2025 06:27

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 22:33

But I don't think this is really PA (despite the title of the thread!). And I suppose I would probably prefer to give someone a slightly less nice (in my opinion, remember - they may feel differently) spoon to eat their ice cream with than imagine inflicting actual violence on them.

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Yes I do this.
We have two types of dessert spoons, one of which I don’t like (too big and round). DH thinks I’m a bit mad for saying a spoon is “too round” and he will happily just grab any spoon for himself with no preference at all. If I’m getting him a spoon and he’s annoyed me, I’ll give him one of the ones I don’t like. I know he literally does not care at all, doesn’t even notice what spoon he has. But I know that really, he’s got a worse spoon.

MinnieMountain · 05/12/2025 06:35

My dad and I have fallen out, I’m NC with him. He now sends DS a cheque for birthdays and Christmas rather than doing a bank transfer like he used to as the bank account has my name on (DH and I don’t have any in our sole names).

ThePoetsWife · 05/12/2025 06:38

Bloody hell - life is way too short to be this petty and pathetic!

daisychain01 · 05/12/2025 06:38

Not for me I'm afraid - I'm too superstitious to do anything like this. I'm of the "what goes around comes around" persuasion. I'd be wondering whether someone is sticking pins in a voodoo doll and calling it daisychain or spitting in my meal when my back was turned.

Theunamedcat · 05/12/2025 06:40

We call it chefs perks here too

When people are a bit mean I get "forgetful" i forget to text them back for a few days my nan (who had dementia) "forgot" my family member who never visited her she smirked after they told her who they were you can't tell me she didn't know all along

ThePoetsWife · 05/12/2025 06:40

Soonenough · 05/12/2025 05:06

I mentally list all their faults and what I would write in a poison pen letter. Now that is unhinged.
The other side of this is that I reward people without them knowing it by giving them the good cutlery or the best portion.

But those being rewarded won’t know - wouldn’t it not be better and kinder to be open about making them feel good.

this life is shit and we need to spread joy where we can

ThePoetsWife · 05/12/2025 06:45

WingingItSince1973 · 04/12/2025 22:44

Gosh I wish I could do something like this when yet again the two other adults in the house haven’t changed the loo roll or put their shoes in the shoe cupboard instead of right next to it!! Really grates me. I’ve just threatened to hide all the loo rolls and carry my one with me! But then the alternative seems more hideous 🤢🤢🤢

Edited

Just tell them - rather than resort to petty actions that won’t change things

Lobelia123 · 05/12/2025 06:54

Mayflower282 · 04/12/2025 22:21

I agree, life is too short to be this bitter 🙄

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Lifes also far too short not to have a sense of humour and a bit of a laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

Youhaveyourhandsfull · 05/12/2025 06:58

When I get a meeting request from someone I don't like, I always accept it without notifying the organizer so I can claim I accepted it, but they won't know I have accepted.
I also refuse any request for a Read Receipt on an email as they are so petty.

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/12/2025 07:01

Youhaveyourhandsfull · 05/12/2025 06:58

When I get a meeting request from someone I don't like, I always accept it without notifying the organizer so I can claim I accepted it, but they won't know I have accepted.
I also refuse any request for a Read Receipt on an email as they are so petty.

I also always refuse read receipts. They’re so rude.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/12/2025 07:05

Goldwren1923 · 05/12/2025 02:41

People like you need therapy.
it’s a very sad life when you have to resort to passive aggressiveness and especially on that level

Nah.
the actions the OP describes are small, totally harmless vents. ‘Irks into smirks’ seems like a positive way to defuse minor annoyances.

much better than visualising violence…that does sound unhealthy.

Owly11 · 05/12/2025 07:08

FridayNightFever · 04/12/2025 18:07

I have a few little tiny things that give me a little bit of glee in a slightly passive aggressive way...

For eg... We have some nice cutlery and some not quite so nice. When giving it out at dinner time, I will give the slightly less nice stuff to the person in my family who has annoyed me the most. I'm almost certain nobody has a clue (the differences between nice/not nice are tiny) but I get quiet satisfaction from doing this.

When sending an email to colleagues, I'll add them in the 'To' box in the order of current favourite to least. Again, I'm certain they won't notice but it gives me a little bit of pass agg joy.

Does anyone else do things like this?

People do notice. Passive aggressive people are the pits and make life miserable for those around them. If you have a problem with someone do them the courtesy of raising it with them like an adult. Your life will improve immeasurably and people will like and respect you more too.

Magnesiummaggie · 05/12/2025 07:10

You should check out the Luanna podcast OP there’s a section in there called Petty Polly, and that’s what these are.
When making dh and I coffee I always give him the first shot of espresso off the machine as it’s never as good as the ones that follow.
I can’t believe how upset some people are getting at these, they’re harmless - well maybe not email one of people are noticing and feeling upset.