How to survive this meal ?

[crisikrinkles]

Today is my partners dads birthday.
We are going out for a meal at 2pm
i have just been to the dentist and I have a tooth abscess.
i haven’t slept in 3 days really
The pain is horrendous
I have been given antibiotics and then I need a root canal once this has gone.

My partner only sees his dad once a year and I missed the last meet up due to work so my partner says I have to be there.

i can’t eat,I barely can open my mouth.
My partner says “just try”
I have been struggling with mash
As soon as I open my mouth

I’ve said il go and won’t eat,il have a soft drink.
My partner says that looks ridiculous but what can I do?
im in agony

Your partner is being a twat

Yep your partner isn’t very nice. Also why does he only see his dad once a year? Can’t be that close then.

His dad lives in Spain so only visits once a year.
He is staying in York but is driving up to us today.
I already feel really awkward as I barely know him..add in the fact I’m in agony .
Ive honestly never had tooth pain like it
i can’t get any relief
ive tried orajel /clove oil
solpadine painkiller's
nothing is touching it

I had this exact thing at my friends leaving do. I'd organised a whole weekend of parties including a works do as she was leaving town permanently. Woke up with a massive abscess.

The antibiotics did seem to start kicking in quite quickly. And take some codeine! If you really do feel awful don't go, but in my case I managed to push through it.

Don’t go. You’re partner is being completely unreasonable and twat.
I found heat helped me with mouth pain.

I too am in the same boat, abscess, antibiotics and having (hopefully) the bastard tooth extracted on Friday. I sympathise with you, the pain is intolerable. I'm having to sit here with a mouthful of water constantly because I've found that for some reason it's the only thing that soothes the ache a bit - I absolutely could not get it together to go out for a meal and be presentable.

I'm going to be missing our only festive outing with my husband's mum tomorrow. He's told me it's absolutely fine and to stay in bed. That's the only correct response to your significant other being in so much pain. Your partner is a dickhead. Don't go to the dinner, you'll be miserable.

@JudgeBreadoh it’s awful isn’t it
Get well soon
For me I’ve been using hand warmers on my face to help a bit..talking for me is hard,any movement it aches.
im on Metronidazole
hope it kicks in soon

@BloodyHellBobi would love not to go but that’s deffo not a option .
I just hope I don’t look silly just having a drink whilst everyone eats.
I don’t want to order a meal to not eat it.

Go to bed. DP is being a jerk

i would love not to go but that’s deffo not a option

Why not?

Of course it’s an option. Are you afraid of your partner? Why does he get to dictate what you do?

I’d go to bed and stay there.

Your partner is wrong. It’s HIS dad, you barely know him. Will his dad really care if someone he barely knows and who can barely talk or eat isn’t there? In fact to be honest it may make the lunch more awkward if you are there in this state. I would flat out refuse in your shoes and if partner gets cross he’s an absolute bellend.

Don't go.

Use the time to plan how you'll seperate from your partner.

Toothache has been used successfully as a murder defence. Your partner is a twat. Hope it feels better soon x

See I was going to say that too but then feel like I say that a lot on MN …… BUT the amount of women living with utterly selfish shitty twats is mind blowing.
You don’t have to put yourself through this visit or meal OP. Stand up for yourself.

Sorry but if your family are so insecure they judge you badly for not being able to go to a meal then they need to stop and have think about what they get out of being that way.

The antibiotics normally kick in very quickly. You might be pleasantly surprised.

I'd feel awful knowing that someone had dragged themselves to a lunch if they were feeling as bad as you clearly are.
And you can't eat, and talking is painful, so what are you going to contribute anyway (in the nicest possible way!).
Stay at home. Ignore your partner whining. Pass on an explanation and apologies to his dad.

EDITED typo

Your partner is a LTB paid up member.

If you must go say "hello I am in massive pain and will not be eating and cant drink due the meds. Eat away and enjoy your meal"

From DF reaction you will find out if your partner has learned how to be a uncaring AH at home or not.

And once a year?
What reason is your partner offering for not being able to get on a plane over any of the other days of the year and visit his dad?

Your partner is a cruel man.

Go to bed. When you feel better, ditch him.

Not sure if you can get them in the UK but I found the Nurofen Max Liquid tabs good when I had abscess. I also found putting a damp tea bag on the gum gave me some relief.

Your dp sounds awful.

You find yourself a better partner. What an insensitive knob.
An abscess is a severe infection and can turn to sepsis if left untreated which can be fatal. And he says you 'have to do' something just so he looks good.

Wow, how supportive and understanding of him.
Obviously, don't go. You're not well enough, you need to rest and you can't bloody eat!

You’re an adult, with choices and agency in your own life

if your ‘D’P were a real man, he’d be the first to say “stay home love, rest and let me know if I can pick anything up on my way back”

put your foot down and tell him you’re not going, send your regards and apologies, but you’re really unwell.

if your P pushes back, chuck HIM back in the sea. He’s not the one for you.

And Partner? He doesn’t deserve that title. This is not a partnership.

bin the MoFo.