How to survive this meal ?

[crisikrinkles]

Today is my partners dads birthday.
We are going out for a meal at 2pm
i have just been to the dentist and I have a tooth abscess.
i haven’t slept in 3 days really
The pain is horrendous
I have been given antibiotics and then I need a root canal once this has gone.

My partner only sees his dad once a year and I missed the last meet up due to work so my partner says I have to be there.

i can’t eat,I barely can open my mouth.
My partner says “just try”
I have been struggling with mash
As soon as I open my mouth

I’ve said il go and won’t eat,il have a soft drink.
My partner says that looks ridiculous but what can I do?
im in agony

Don't go. A decent partner would understand and not question it.

I don't understand why you have to go?

Would you do this to your partner OP? Guilt/bully him into attending something even though he is struggling and in pain?

I’m guessing not, because it’s a horrible way to treat someone.

Please think again about whether this man actually respects and cares for you.

If someone you cared about, your friend, sister, daughter or mom, was in this situation and said missing the mewl was "not an option" because of her fella's reaction, what would you tell her to do?

Whatever you would tell her, do that. (I am assuming it would not be "A man's hurt feelings are more important than your absolute physical agony love -suck it up!" )

If it is genuinely "not an option" because he will hurt you if you fail to attend, then obviously proceed with caution - but help is out there, however scared of this man you are. Plenty of women on here have escaped terrifying levels of cruelty and control - it can be done!

Good luck.

Take some ibuprofen,it's the only thing I've found can help,it takes the swelling down.

I'm on really strong painkillers because I'm chronically ill and they didn't touch it when I had an impacted wisdom tooth but the ibuprofen did.

Why do you have to be there?
Your partner is being a Dick, tell him you hope he has a lovely time but do NOT go with him

You don’t have to go. If you truly believe you do, there are bigger problems.

This is ludicrous! Stay at home for goodness sake.

You won’t be good company.

if your dp can’t explain it to his df, then he doesn’t deserve to be your dp. This isn’t just a mild toothache, I honestly think my abscess was worse than childbirth - I wanted to bash my head against a wall the pain was so bad

@crisikrinkles Do mouth washes with Ouzo or Sambuca just don’t swallow and dont drive just in case 😶

been doing it since I was a kid 😎

your partner is a mess isn’t he? I’d pretend I had fainted just not to be there !

You absolutely can not go. It really is an option. Your partner is being a dicj. Abscesses are agony! It's his dad so as long as he goes i dont see the problem.

Not going absolutely is an option. Your partner sounds like a massive arsehole to be honest.

Says you “have” to be there?!
Who the fuck does he think he is? Stay home and sleep.

Stay home and rest!!

I’ve had a reoccurring abscess all of November that three lots of antibiotics haven’t cured so it’s coming out on Tuesday. You have my full sympathy and I hope the antibiotics work quickly.

Anti inflammatories such as ibuprofen worked so much better for me and helped me get through.

Seriously, you are a grown woman. You don't "have to" do anything, especially not for a 'partner' who doesn't give a shit that you are in terrible pain.

Why on earth are you allowing him to dictate to you?

Well I wouldnt go for a start.However I find Paramol is marvellous for severe pain .Strongest painkiller without a prescription.Ask the chemist it is paracetamol codeine and something else as well .

Why do you feel you can’t tell them? Surely, if you’re worried about “looking silly” then you just explain to them. Personally I’d not go - when I have had similar in the past there’s absolutely no way I would’ve gone to something like this, and it says a lot about your bf that he seems to not care - this in itself is probably your biggest problem. But if you’re going to give in and do as he says then just tell them you can’t eat and the reason why. I cannot fathom why you wouldn’t, tbh?

Ignore your partner and stay at home.

He is being completely unreasonable and showing no care or concern for you at all.

If his father is a decent man he will understand completely that someone with excruciating tooth pain cannot get through lunch out

Don’t go. You need to rest and recover and your partner is unreasonable and selfish to ignore your needs. I hope you feel better soon and remember this the next time your partner has man flu - He can surely push through making the dinner and doing the dishes 🙈

Your partner is being unreasonable and cruel. I’ve had an abscess and all I wanted to do was lie down with the abscess side on a pillow. There is no way I could go out or eat. You need to put yourself first.

Really sympathise as I’ve had his a few times and it’s agony! I think you are brave to even go, certainly food and drink will be hard to manage. What an insensitive oaf!
Try a warm saline mouth wash, dissolve half a teaspoon of table salt in half a mug of water and swill round your mouth and spit out until you’ve used it all. The salt is quite healing and it also seems to numb your mouth. It will make you thirsty but it can be a huge relief and you can just keep repeating.
best of luck with the dental treatment x

You need a whisky. For the tooth and the partner.

Would he pressure and force his dad to get out of bed when unwell with a tooth abcess and in excrutiating pain in order to come and eat dinner with you?

Would he fuck. The fact that he only sees his dad once a year is absolutely none of your business. He's not your partner, he's not even managing to show you the care or regard that a total stranger would be able to muster.

If he gave one shiny shite about you and your wellbeing he wouldn't want you leaving the house. Never mind giving you no choice but to attend. Tell him to pack a bag and stay out.

I’m sure his dad - if he is a decent person - would be horrified that you are being pressured into going.

You should be tucked up in bed with painkillers and a hot water bottle. Your partner should be trying to work out how to apologise for being such a cunt to you.