@redange Crist on a bike. 3 hours!
Firstly, you have a dh problem, but I think you already know that, judging by this and some of your other posts. 
Second, your dc are old enough to respect some ground rules. I also have 3 dc, one boy, two girls. Youngest is at 6th form. One dd has SEND, including autism.
There is no way I would ever tolerate a three hour slanging match in our home - ever. I'm quite old-school. I demand that they are either civil, or silent. At least in my presence. If they can't do that, they can stay in their rooms. My dds have perfected having a go at each other in whispers to avoid my wrath. 😂
You don't have to listen to it, go nuclear if you have to. Living in a war zone is not good for anyone. The same rules apply to ALL the dc, NT and ND. You must try to not take sides wherever possible.
Your ds should not have gone for your dd like that, I'm not surprised that she retaliated tbh. It sounds more like pure jealousy from your ds to me, rather than misogyny, but I don't doubt that he's learning some awful lessons from your dh. If your dh doesn't give a shit, you will have to try and teach him that it's wrong to treat women that way, easier said than done I know.
I promise you faithfully that your ds is perfectly capable of either celebrating his sister's success, or keeping his gob shut and taking himself off for a breather. That is a life lesson that he needs to learn, ND or not. Been there, got the T shirt with my dd.
Send them a WhatsApp telling them that it will not be tolerated again, and mean it. Good luck 💙