What’s a very fast way to tell if someone is a good person or not ?

[AceKitten]

If you need to decide quite fast

People aren't that simple. Why do you need to decide so quickly?

With most people I don’t think there is one. Most people can put a good face on themselves for a period of time. Lots of people can appear to be good people for a long time until something stressful happens to show who they really are.

Could we have a little more context?

There isn't one.

Surely you know that?

Ask for a DBS check and character references. And then hope for the best.

Impossible to know people are very good at hiding there true self's. It can take months for the mask to start slipping.

There is also a difference between someone who is not a nice/good person and someone who you can 100% rely on for yourself. I’m a decent person I think. But there are limits to what I can do for other people.

No one is a good person or a bad person. We are all just people who behave in good or bad ways at different times for a multitude of different reasons. Some people think I am a really good person, other people think I'm a bit of a dick. Both are right.

I don't know why you need to make a call on someone in a hurry but I would say trust your intuition but be sensible - don't make yourself vulnerable to someone you hardly know.

They are a considerate careful driver and speak nicely to service staff.

Not 100% guarantee of a good person but it weeds a lot of unpleasant people out.

impossible. You can make a quick judgement as to what your gut says - does the person seem sincere etc, but you need to be very clear that first impressions can easily be wrong.

Some of the most evil psycopaths are immensely charming and likeable and often people have many faces, so this is an impossible question to answer

people are rarely ALL good or ALL bad. Most people are healthily on the better side.

I would trust my gut and then look for evidence to support or deny the claim that you think that someone aligns to your view of ‘good’.

I am one of these people that occasionally takes an instant dislike to people. I am usually not wrong but it takes a while for others to eventually realise.
BUT I do occasionally take an instant like tinselled and have often been wrong so tend to tread carefully.

plus different contexts bring out different sides to a persons character. So at work people behave really nicely but at home are abusive. And vice versa.

Follow your gut. If meeting someone your gut is saying no then follow it. That’s how I know. One was a very chatty intrusive questioning women who had never met me. She seemed to throw herself at me immediately as I entered the room. My gut said stay clear. I quickly found out something was very wrong with her. Another was his body language and trying too hard. He slipped up saying something that I knew was a lie (he didn’t know I had knowledge about what he was talking about). If I meet someone I don’t get a gut feeling then they usually end up a decent person. They have their quirks but nothing that would suggest they are a hazard.

Most people are neither all good or bad. A example is some people save their efforts for their family and are neutral with everyone else, doesn’t make them bad. Or they are themselves at home and false nice with others.

This.

Impossible.

But I’d say ‘no’ to them to see how they react. Spend time discussing values and their why’s. So why something is or is y important to them, it’s easy to say ‘I wouldn’t cheat’ for example - why? Or I wouldn’t drink drive - why?

But people are a mix of good and bad. I may not agree with someone’s opinions on everything (that would suggest they are a people pleaser in fact) and that’s fine too.

I think as an initial way of getting a sense is;

• do they help people (when they think no one’s looking. E.g elderly/ homeless)
• do animals like them/ are the y enamoured with animals
• are they rude to people who can’t do anything for them (or who can’t object)

If you are in a relationship with this person, you could make a Clare's Law request to the police to find out whether the person has a history of violence.

The animals thing is silly. Perfectly nice people aren’t keen on domestic animals. My closest friend is a wonderful human being and has been the best possible friend to me for a quarter of a century, and is terrified of dogs. DH is fabulous and hates cats. I’m fine with cats and dogs, grew up with both, walked a friend’s dog daily for a year, but am not keen on pet ownership.

OP, there’s no easy or instant way. Just observe and listen.

this^ will definitely help.

What’s a very fast way to tell if someone is a good person or not ?
Easy.
Do they return to threads that they start?

How do they interact with waiters, McDonald's drive thru staff etc. But my DH was once a dick and I pulled him up on it and turns out it was just his 'funny' way and he's actually a decent bloke. Please allow for neurodivergency.
But as above, Clare's law, and just listen to them and hear.

The animals thing is nonsense. One of the kindest people I know has minimal interest in animals. Obviously deliberate cruelty to animals is another matter. That would definitely be a red flag.

For me anyway, it is how they talk about other people.
I don't really think there is a way to tell within a few minutes or something like that.

I tend to have very good gut instincts but I know that isn’t true for a lot of people.