Do you go out much in evenings these days (age 40/45+)

[NCmuvva]

Just that really!

I’m mid 40’s now and hardly ever go out of an evening - in fact I mostly dread the idea of having to go out to anything ‘social’ after 8pm as staying up late will mean I won’t be able to wind down in time for bed around 10/10.30pm.

I tend to see friends for lunch / on day off or at weekends, during the day if possible. I will attend ‘big’ evening events if it’s important (big birthday, wedding etc) but I’d never sign up for an evening group activity or just a random dinner.

My parents (in their mid 70’s!) are always out in the evening for dinners, bingo, friends over etc. They’ve always done it and I remember friends parents being the same.

Is this a menopause thing, just me!?

I’d like to feel more able to, I just can’t hack it!

I really agree with this.

I don't work weekends but currently work about a 50 hour week as I'm a freelancer for half my work and it's been a really good year for work. As all freelancers know, it's really hard to turn it down. I was more part time when the kids were little as there was little financial working with three of them and also enjoyed their company.

No I’m too tired in the evening. I love going out for lunch but not dinner etc. plus I think when you don’t drink there’s less reason to be out in the evening?

You will be! 😊 I'm 49 and go out a lot - pubs, clubs, brunches, meeting friends, coffees, walks... all things I do in the evenings at weekends and during the week.

I honestly can't relate to people on MN who are in bed by 9pm, hate going out and dread friends arranging things. The fuller my calendar is, the better! December is looking ridiculous but I can't wait 😁

I have gone out twice this week and going out again tonight to a play. Alone!

All the time.

In the past week I’ve been to a dinner and classical music performance last Saturday. Was at a work dinner on Tuesday (stayed away from home) , a gig on Wednesday, dinner with friends last night and I’m at a fundraiser this evening again with friends.

Next week is similar - I’m planning to go to the cinema one evening, I am away working for 2 days - one evening I’m at a reception. I have an evening meeting which is likely to have drinks afterwards when I’m back home.

There’s an expectation that comes with my position that I will travel and attend dinners / receptions / fundraisers 😵‍💫.

I’m 56, work full time and go out often. Yoga one evening a week and dinner, cinema, gig or just drinks at least once a week. I was out with DS until midnight last night and another late one with friends tonight. Every month or so DH and I go out in local town with friends from lunchtime on a Saturday usually until late at night.
I can handle being tired at work next day. I get a lot from spending time with friends who mean a lot to me. The only restriction is the cost. If getting trains or taxis it gets really expensive.

Not at all, I rarely drink and never more than one (MN stereotype alert!) but go out to pubs and bars at least one evening a week. It's about socialising and being out amongst other people not drinking.

Yeah maybe it’s just a me thing. If I’m going out for a meal I’d much rather it was lunch. If a mean plus wine I’d only do that in the evening if that makes sense? But I get up early for the gym even on weekends so I much prefer an early night!

I'm 47, over the last few years I've started going out quite a lot. Sometimes the pub midweek, and sometimes til 2 on Saturday nights. After work I'm sometimes tired and take it easy, but usually bed at about midnight. My 30s were totally given over to childcare, so now that they're teenagers I'm relishing going out again

I love being at home but since COVID found myself getting into a rut of saying ‘no’ to invitations, being ‘too tired’ in the evenings and friends drifting away. A night in front of the TV felt much easier. But a couple of years ago I realised I’m going to have a seriously sad empty nest when my kids leave home and am making a big effort to build up my social network again. I have joined a community choir (love it!) and I arranged post-rehearsal drinks this week. I also now do Padel, am a trustee of a charity and do pub quizzes with a friend (we definitely need to grow our team!) We like to entertain friends, go out with our teens and make an effort with things like theatre trips. I’ve made a huge effort to reconnect with old friends and have echoed more walks, dinners and weekends away. To be honest, my social circle is still small but expanding and, like a PP said, it’s a muscle you have to exercise, consciously choosing to say ‘yes’ and learning to initiate activities. It’s gets easier each time. Take it from me, it’s much, much harder to pick up a social life than to drop one but I’m so glad I’ve made the effort to rebuild mine.

Nearly 50.

Out 3 evenings last week + Saturday and Friday.

My children are adults. I think it makes a difference.

I'm in my 60s and usually out about 3 nights during the working week (but rarely at weekends).
Not dancing/party type activities but book group, choir, WI, odd low-key social etc.
I have more energy now (and go to bed later) than in my younger days!

We’re out the other side now in late 50’s and have started to enjoy going out ‘clubbing’ again. Mostly day clubs with music we can dance/sing along to. Home by 8-9pm. Went to a great alternative 60/70’s night and home in bed by midnight last week. Really ache the next day though from dancing and have to limit the alcohol. Couldn’t do it every week.

I've started to go out again at night recently. I've hit that wonderful milestone where kids no longer need a sitter so I have been out about once a fortnight or so. Usually home by 11, sometimes even on a school night. No one in my house goes to bed til 11 anyhow so if I come home at 11 the jobs are done, I get home at 9 I'll be expected to do them. I'm 48 and discovering I can have a life again and am feeling positive about it.

I’m 40 and I go out fairly regularly. More so at this time of year. I often feel like I don’t want to go but enjoy it once I’m out (grieving a big loss this year and I find that’s affected me a lot.) I try to keep things to a Thursday or Friday night as I feel knackered during the week from school run/homework etc. It’s important to have your own time and to socialise with friends, IMO. Sometimes I dial it right down and don’t make any plans but tbh then I feel a bit meh. I like to have plans to look forward to

@ohwoaw you don't need to wait till you are that old. Hopefully this thread gives you a bit of positivity, when kids are young it feels like forever but once they are teens you will be amazed how much more time you have. My eldest trains a few nights a week and does gym workouts almost all other days. He got his driving licence a month ago and it has literally changed my life. I'm suddenly thinking about evening courses and hobbies that I haven't considered since my 20s

DH and I agreed to have one mid week night each to go out while the other looks after DC. So once a week minimum.

ETA - we are mid 40s and have a primary school aged child.

I go out to the local pub 2-3 evenings a week, and if there's something else going on I will go to that instead.
But, I am single, childless, and WFH. If I didn't, I'd probably lose any social skill I had. It isn't a chosen life more so making the best of the one I have.

That's perfectly reasonable, I'm not great at being active in the mornings. I get up by 7 most days but not for the gym, that's definitely an evening thing for me, my mornings are just pottering about at home or going to work.

I do a hobby once a week that gets me out in the evening, plus requires odd evenings every 6 weeks or so. I love it, otherwise my evenings would all be at home (bar the occasional social or work event). I wfh and spend far too long there.

Yes looking forward to a bit more freedom in the next 10 years or so. We don’t have family nearby and I’m usually happy in the evenings at home for now. I do an evening workout class once a week and see friends every month or so at the moment.