Do you go out much in evenings these days (age 40/45+)

[NCmuvva]

Just that really!

I’m mid 40’s now and hardly ever go out of an evening - in fact I mostly dread the idea of having to go out to anything ‘social’ after 8pm as staying up late will mean I won’t be able to wind down in time for bed around 10/10.30pm.

I tend to see friends for lunch / on day off or at weekends, during the day if possible. I will attend ‘big’ evening events if it’s important (big birthday, wedding etc) but I’d never sign up for an evening group activity or just a random dinner.

My parents (in their mid 70’s!) are always out in the evening for dinners, bingo, friends over etc. They’ve always done it and I remember friends parents being the same.

Is this a menopause thing, just me!?

I’d like to feel more able to, I just can’t hack it!

I’m in my early 50s and I go out several times a month - either with OH for a meal, meeting friends in London (I’m in outer London) or with the kids. I get bored spending too many nights in.

I'm 46 and spend almost every evening at home with my dcs aged 3 and 7. But that's more about wanting to spend my time with my family than any friends. Pre-dcs I was out several evenings a week, doing at least one evening/fitness class and going out to the theatre, gig or art event. I think I'd still be up for doing things like that, once the dcs are older. I'm happiest going out with DH though (rather than other friends, which would mean I could leave DH with the dcs) and we don't have suitable childcare. I don't go to bed early and I never have - I'm often up until 2am getting admin done.

I’m 43 and don’t go out socially in the evening very often - I do pick dd up from dance around 9pm twice a week but that doesn’t count.

I’m up for work at 5.30am Monday to Friday so I’m shattered through the week and as I’m out of the house all week I just want to stay home at the weekend. I do have the odd evening out but it’s rare. Having said that I was meant to be out with old work colleagues tonight for dinner and drinks but I’ve been floored with a bad cold since Wednesday so I cancelled yesterday. I’m also meant to be going away overnight tomorrow with a group of us for dh’s best friends birthday and I’m undecided whether I’m going now, I’ll see how I feel in the morning. I’m more than happy to stay home, dh will still go and won’t get fomo at all, I’ll enjoy the peace as I’m very much a homebody.

I’m 57. I’m retired through ill health. I meet friends in the daytime but we go to coffee shops etc where we live in a small market town we live near a city but don’t go there. I’m a member of a quiz team, but I find myself making more and more excuses not to go. I like just being at home.

Yes we always go to matinees too.

I think that would be demand for having gigs in the afternoon too because I'd love to go and see some bands but I don't want to get home at 2 in the morning.

Im a bit taken back with my newish found love for being at home more. In my 20s (the 90s era) i had huge fomo and couldn't stand to be at home on the weekend. I HAD to be 'out out' .. anywhere.
Give me pj's, the sofa and hot cuppa on a fri/sat night ❤️

I probably go out around twice a month on a Fri/Sat night, either to comedy, theatre, cinema or dinner. In the week I am at the gym early evenings then love coming home to tv, comfy clothes, dinner, sofa. I am embracing home and peace more and more!

Not at all and very happy. Also mid forties.

I seem to be going backwards then by going out more than in my twenties and thirties. I had little kids then!

Twice a week max and never consecutive nights if I can help it. This time of year is mad busy though with 12 nights out between now and Xmas. Exhausted thinking of it. I prefer to be I bed by 10 latest otherwise I sleep badly.

Me and hubby in 30s we love to get home jamas on early bed, very rarely want to go out to tired from work etc lol

Late 50s and out all the time. I didn't when the DCs were young but then had a few years of taxiing them to sports and other clubs and thrived on it, I loved watching with the other parents, volunteered a lot etc. Then as that gradually would down I replaced it with going out to do hobbies of my own and socialising switched back to evenings as it became harder to meet anyone on weekdays because of everyone’s work commitments (I work 4 days plus a time consuming volunteering role, most of my friends work FT or 4 days too) and weekends everyone seems to bs busy during the day, although I do have Saturday brunch with friends sometimes. I’d say I’m out in some capacity probably 5 evenings out of 7 most of the time. DH is similar, we do a lot separately but go out together quite a bit too. A free evening is one waiting to be filled with something. We went out earlier this evening, came home and went out again an hour later.

I’m mid 40s and meet friends for a drink maybe every other week. Generally home by 10 or so though. And I do a hobby one night a week and get home at 10 then too. I don’t go out in the evening with DH as often as I’d like though, because our kids are an awkward age of too old for a babysitter/too young to leave for a full evening. We do leave them sometimes to go for a quick drink, and once or twice a very local quick dinner, but friends with slightly older kids (and in one or two cases younger ones too!) are leaving them to go to gigs/weddings/the theatre. We’re not quite ready for that yet. (Youngest is 12)

Mid 40s I was still going out quite a lot meeting friends, I still do but more at each other's houses now mid 50s. I don't go out out as much, have just come back from a get together, few pubs and late bar. Had a great night, couldn't do it every week now. Xx

Same here, I was out all the time. Guess the days before technology, the only way was to meet uo and have a cracking fun night. It's sad so many young people are more inclined to pjs and Netflix. It's a whole different world now but I'm so glad to have lived at the time of thriving towns during the day and nightlife. So many friends made, experiences, just so much fun!

I prefer meeting friends for a walk/hot choc, lunch or a morning in the spa. Definitely don’t really like going out at night in winter. Really miss dancing so it would be good to have more daytime 80s/90s parties. The venue for the ones we do have is a bit grotty so I haven’t been but I would love it in decent surroundings! I’m approaching 60 a little too rapidly!

In my 50s and tend to meet my friends or my sister for a walk with our dogs and a coffee in the daytime. Sometimes we meet for lunch, occasionally an evening meet up. I go out more in the summer when it’s nice to sit in a pub garden by the canal or people watch. That’s less appealing in the dark months.

Yes this is a major part of it; unless you’re in a big city many towns are lacking these days.

Socially - not really. I go out maybe once every two months. But I go to the gym or play tennis most weekday evenings after DS is in bed.

If I spend too many evenings in I get despondent about life but I don't enjoy just socialising often as it takes more energy from me than exercising.

In your OP, you say your parents and friends parents going out a lot over the years and still doing it, so why would it be a menopause thing?

If that were the case, no middle aged women would ever be out.

Depends on your social calendar and if you're outgoing or not.

And also opportunity/ where you live.

I'm 52 and go out far too much.
I do love it though. DH isn't quite so up for it so he goes out less.

I go out at least twice a week in the evening, usually at least once of those is out past 1am. I still go clubbing to old people raves as we call them.(mainly over 35s).
This month I've been out to the pub about 5 times, to a club once, cinema once, comedy night once and 2 house parties. Off for a meal tonight. Also been to some local sporting events with friends and the teenagers and one dinner party. I definitely get energy from going out.
I do a lot of sport as well which is very social and keeps me fit.
I couldn't do it when the kids were younger as couldn't properly look after them if I was knackered but now they wake up after us so not an issue.
I do love a night in as well playing board games or watching a film.

Do you work every day?

I think that’s changed again in the last few years, I live in a small market town, not deprived but not overly affluent and it has gone from being a few half dead pubs and one restaurant 10 years ago to many restaurants, busy new bars (two craft beer types and others), cafes converting to bistros in the evenings, the town is really lively at night again now.

I'm getting close to 50 and tbh I've turned a corner on this.

I work FT, with a longish commute a couple of days a week. Kids are older (teen and tween) so need a lot of ferrying around in the evenings but are less intense in terms of childcare.

I've built a really lovely network of local friends as well as those I know from years ago who are scattered across London. I probably go to the theatre with friends on average once a month, and dinner/drinks in various places with various people a few times too. Catching up during the day on a weekday is a non-starter; weekend days tend to be busy for people.

A couple of years ago I was definitely getting into a rut/making excuses to cancel going out/etc and when the kids were smaller the logistics were much harder. But I think as you get older you really have to consciously prioritise maintaining friendships, especially if you're not regularly seeing them organically. For me it's a muscle that needs exercising - the more I do it the easier it is.