What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

In general I arrive at my child’s school for pick up about 5 minutes before the playground gate is opened. Not on purpose, it just happens that sometimes the walk is quicker than others. Sometimes I’m the first one there, sometimes there are a few people in front, and others join the queue behind me.

One particular mum will turn up bang on collection time (fine) and just walk past the queue of people patiently waiting and stand right in front of the gate.
As if we aren’t all there for the same reason.

It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us, but so far haven’t said anything because I can’t be arsed with any playground drama, although yesterday I was tempted to side step in front of her just as the gate was open.

is this not just straight up rude behaviour?

But we have the same issue dropping kids off on a morning, someone always walks to the front and takes her kids in, there's no need for many reasons.

1. school starts at the same time for everyone
2. you would still make it in time if you walked in from the back.

Two random reasons why pushing through is pointless and rude.

Ah, then you aren’t the mum then, are you?

The mum probably thinks all the ones that ‘queue up’ to be let into a school gate are total weirdos. If there’s space for her to stand infront of the gate then surely she’s entitled to stand there.

Unless there’s a school policy that parents and carers MUST queue up behind the gate in single file in order of arrival with adequate signs on the gates.

There may be space, and she may be just rude enough to make herself space. A lot see a tiny gap shove themselves in it and except others to move away to a comfortable distance, which therefore makes the space larger for her.

If someone practically stands on my toes I back up, I don't push them away.

i am pretty sure the defined queue order is not replicated inside )the staff are not psychic) so surely the children pile out and run to their parent/carer and it is not realigned to be order dependent?

Queueing seems strange? We just used to gather in small groups and wander round to get children. The teacher would release them as they saw the parent. If we were collecting on behalf of others we just let the teacher know.

Does it actually really matter? As long as the kids are safe?

But that isnt what the OP is talking about

She is talking about waiting in a
"one person can only get through the gate at a time" queue, where everyone is waiting and this other mum goes to the head of the queue/waiting line

She isnt talking about waiting IN the school playground for the kids to be released from class

In the same way as any queue matters I suppose.

We have a similar system. You can approach the gate from either the left or the right as it’s in the middle of a street directly onto the path. The school ask that parents who arrive early queue single file down the wall to the left of the gate so that they don’t all block the path for pedestrians. However if you arrive from the right at the point the gate is being opened, there is no point at all walking past the gate to the end of the queue and then walking back on yourself to get to the gate. There is no advantage to being at the front of the queue. However, if arriving from the left, it would seem pushy to pass the queue and go to the front, even though it doesn’t disadvantage anyone already waiting

Speculating on the internet with a bunch of other mums with their own bonnet bees or shoulder chips might be fun/irritating (delete as appropriate) but it won't get you what you want to know.

The only way that you will ever know why she does it is to ask her.

Maybe she considers the queue some weird hobby you all decided to engage in, while she just finds some convenient place close to the gate to wait at.

I would be her - I absolutely respect first come first served when it matters in any sense, but this looks as queueing for queueing.
A dispersed crowd uses the available space better and it would be probably faster to get you all through the gate that way (a bit like car zipping). And it is more pro-social, allows people to walk to someone and talk with each other (if they want) even if one came fourth and the other nineth, which the unnecessary queueing makes awkward.

But she doesn't just find a convenient spot to wait close to the gate - she walks right to the top of an established queue and stands in front of the first person in that queue, right in front of the gate - the gate that only one person can fit through at a time. And then queues herself.

Isn’t it just decency and good manners to join the end of any queue? Anyone who says it doesn’t matter has an inflated sense of their importance.

It sounds to me that those two things might be hard to distinguish.

The OP has a perspective of queue jumping and says "It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us" - when we know that the position has no bearing on when the other mum collects her child, so it might be driven by some other logic than seeing her need as greater.

I'm offering a possible alternative POV and it's up to the OP to decide whether it is realistically possible in their scenario.

Isn't it a sign of inflated sense of self importance to want to organise the way other people's waiting when it has no practical meaning?

I totally respect first come first served, but I like to check what is the queue for before joining the end of one. In the real world it's not uncommon that people are queing for toilets even when half of the cubicles are empty, or people are queueing to buy tickets and those with online tickets can go straight in.

I would have been the same. Was the same. Completely oblivious would have just walked past everyone not seeing them and never realising there was a problem.

But once they get into the playground the order they were in outside is irrelevant. So why even bother with a queue outside. And even more strange to get upset about someone going in before you.

None of it makes any sense.

reminds me of the moron drivers who squeeze in and drive ridiculously close to you, "because there's space, innit". No, it wasn't a "space", it was the safe and legal distance between 2 cars.

So, much less dangerous, but just as rude and entitled, if you don't stick your nose literally against the gate, and people are not queueing intimately close to you, it's fair enough to push through and ignore the queue because other parents are stupid enough to leave some distance between each other? 😂

You can't argue with stupid, I wouldn't bother, but of course it irritates everybody else. No one else can be as important and in a rush as her. Classic CF 😂

In my mind, it's similar to the situation at an airport departure lounge when people start queuing for the gate opening, even though they have allocated seats. I think it's ridiculous that people will stand and queue for 15-20 minutes for something that doesn't need a queue - but I wouldn't dream of walking to the top of it and then waiting in front of the person at the head in order to go through the ticket gate when it opens.

Regardless of how ridiculous we think a queue might be, in our culture it's considered polite to join the end of it.

it isnt just like that though, since a shop would require an inside queue for purchase as well

Totally this. I used to work at an airport. We would have the whole row of check in desks open and if a few people started forming a queue at one of them it would just grow & grow. We had to have a person out on the floor trying to get some of them just to proceed to the desks that were empty. People were like sheep.

Sure

My husband told me a quote recently that i like a lot: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

I never queue to get through the departure gates at an airport. The plane will depart when it's ready. What's the point in standing when I can be seated comfortably. I often just wait near the gate, on my seat and get on last when the queue is gone

Same.
Although now I am a wheelchair user I always go on first instead and I don't understand the weirdos who make comments thinking it's some kind of perk we would face disability for. Who wants to be first on the plane! We've all got booked seats so I don't get the rush