What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

In general I arrive at my child’s school for pick up about 5 minutes before the playground gate is opened. Not on purpose, it just happens that sometimes the walk is quicker than others. Sometimes I’m the first one there, sometimes there are a few people in front, and others join the queue behind me.

One particular mum will turn up bang on collection time (fine) and just walk past the queue of people patiently waiting and stand right in front of the gate.
As if we aren’t all there for the same reason.

It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us, but so far haven’t said anything because I can’t be arsed with any playground drama, although yesterday I was tempted to side step in front of her just as the gate was open.

is this not just straight up rude behaviour?

Same - I have my ticket and seat, the plane's going nowhere until we're all on it. However, when I rock up to the departure lounge I don't wander past everyone and go to the top of the (pointless imo) queue, I hang about somewhere at the end of it or try and find a seat and wait for tge gate to open- because to do otherwise would be considered dickish and ill-mannered. Bit like this woman.

There's a big queue at our school gates at pick up.
Sometimes l go to the front of queue, not often, it's usually if I have an important meeting at 3:30 or need to get off ASAP.
I usually tell the people at the front and they are ok.
Maybe she has a regular appointment/ meeting that she has to get to and CBA to tell people everyday or maybe she's just entitled.

But that's a queue with an actual point prior to boarding. At that point you are queueing up to have your passport and boarding pass individually checked by the gate staff before proceeding to the bus or the air bridge.

Unlike the waiting area outside the school gate where there is no checkpoint once the gate is open and no individual process that everyone needs to go through in order. If you went to the front of the boarding queue you would be pushing ahead of people to perform that check.

In many airports a part of the people form a queue, than the gate is opened for boarding group 1, which causes a mess, boarding group 1 people who were seated up to that moment go to the gate and the queue stands there because it's head is not a group 1, so anyone from boarding group 1 in that queue needs to realise it, leave the queue and proceed.

Repeat with boarding group 2.

And, when they call all other passengers the broken queue is joined by everyone else at the gate in a big funnel. And than everyone gets in.

But you'll have your boarding pass checked regardless of where you are in the queue. Your ultimate aim is not to get your boarding pass checked, it's to be on the plane when it takes off - you being first on the plane won't make it take off any faster. Everyone has their allocated seat, there's no need to queue.

Indeed. And I'm usually the last to stand up, utterly bemused at the people choosing to stand up for 25 minutes for no reason.

But it's still a queue entirely different to the one people are apparently forming outside OP's school. If you go nearer the gate of the school nothing happens except you getting to the next waiting area earlier and people can walk through the gate in 2s and 3s. The queue for boarding pass checks can only move 1 by 1 and is a queue with an actual purpose; that of the mandatory checks.

It's not the same.

It is the same - it's a queue, and regardless of how ridiculous I or others think it is, no-one should walk to the top of it while ignoring everyone who has been standing in it for the last however long.

You're not going to convince me it's the same. The waiting area outside the school gate is just that, a waiting area. One where for some reason a few people have decided to stand in a particular formation and most others have followed suit. And OP thinks your position in waitng area A gives you priority to enter waiting area B.

The airport equivalent would be if you claimed the person sitting in the seat nearest the desk should be first to board because they were the nearest in the waiting area.

I asked what she thinks we are all queuing for

What are you queuing for?

She is queueing so that she doesn’t have to make eye contact with anyone, doesn’t have to get physically close to anyone and doesn’t have to talk to anyone. How can anyone possibly get through a gate single file unless they are already standing one behind the other? I mean, really - you should see the confusion when parents try to exit from the gate after collecting their children and are no longer in the safety of a long queue. It’s just so confusing, working out how to get out. 🤣

Is the queue-jumper British or from another country/culture?

I ask because I live in France and behaviour towards waiting is different - depending on the situation, people might nonchalantly cut right in at the front even if others have been waiting ages (for the bus, for example). This is seen as perfectly acceptable, but as a queue-loving Brit it really irks me, even if I know there is no disrespect intended!

again, I’m queuing because I’m unable to walk through a closed gate.

To add, as I’m not sure if this has been made clear - sometimes the children have been let out of the classroom before the gates open, so on occasion being in the front of the queue/line may have an advantage, but not always. Not always though, depends on what gate has been opened first.

does that change people perception of the queue?

Has anyone asked for a diagram yet?! 😂😂🫣

i love how one poster re-defined your queue as a “line” 🤣

edited for typo again 🙄

No, I did attempted to mock on up on my notes app but turns out that I’m not as good at drawing diagrams as I am at queueing.

Surely you are merely standing outside the closed gate because it is closed. Standing one person behind the other has nothing to do with the gate being closed, it’s related to wanting the security of having a set “turn” for walking through the gate when it opens, even though it’s unnecessary, because there is no risk whatsoever that you will not get through it in time to collect your child.

At nursery, it was like this-a queue and the first person had their child sent out first (obviously exceptions for medical needs etc), and there were some parents who pushed in. Still makes me laugh that one mum would announce she had a meeting to get to as she pushed in front, because most of us worked. Yes, people did tell her, but her job was just more important.
You see a lot of this in shops too.

😂🙌

I haven't rtft, but I completely understand what the OP is describing. It is human nature to queue to get into the waiting area/playground to collect the kids so that the footpath isn't blocked. Op, unless you address the woman who barges (which we know will never happen, right?!), write her off as an annoyance and nothing more. Also, is there a more British thread than this one?!

Haven't these smirky little '....and what happened when you did what I think you should have done, OP, hmmmmm?' replies died a death yet?

Always irritating to read.

If the children are all let out one at a time I don't see why you queue in the first place. Why don't you just loiter until the gates are open? It literally doesn't matter.

Our school release the younger ones one by one when the teacher sees a parent is there for them, so in that situation you should queue.. but if your child could come out at any time and in any order then you're getting worked up over nothing.

That being said, if I saw that you'd formed a queue, whether it was needed or not, I wouldn't just walk straight to the front of it.

But it's not a waiting area at the school - it's a queue for the gate to open to go into an area where parents wait for the teacher to give them their children. No queue that has formed should be jumped. If parents were milling about in groups or individually then fine, but this is a fully formed queue that the woman has to walk the entire length of to position herself in front of the person at the top of it.

But I acknowledge we won't agree on this.

Is it a cultural thing? Some cultures just don’t get queuing. Whereas British people have a seemingly innate ability to organise themselves into queues even out of chaos But what you’re describing is incredibly rude of that individual- please say something

I’d politely tell her. She may genuinely be oblivious to the queue.

So you're not queuing, you're waiting. You can insist on calling it a queue, to justify your upset, as long as you want, but it's simply not. People are waiting to go through a gate so they can wait some more. A queue is established when there is a need for fairness in a situation, so people cannot gain an unfair advantage. People queue to get on a bus so they can get a seat they like, People queue for a till so they can be served in a fair manner. When there is no advantage to a queue, it's simply "waiting".

It always baffles me when people post a question on here, then continually argue they are correct against growing arguments that they are not. Why ask if you don't want the answers so many people are giving you? If all you wanted was validation, you came to the wrong place!

Because there are plenty of us who agree that it's a queue. A line has formed in front of the gate that when opened will allow people in to an area where they will wait for their children. The people are waiting in a queue for that to happen - they are not milling around in unformed groups or as individuals.

It's like a queue for something like a library to open - the door will open and people who have been waiting in queue formation will file in and then go to different parts to borrow books, use the PCs, read the papers and so on. No-one should simply walk to the top of that line and insert themselves into it at the front.