What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

In general I arrive at my child’s school for pick up about 5 minutes before the playground gate is opened. Not on purpose, it just happens that sometimes the walk is quicker than others. Sometimes I’m the first one there, sometimes there are a few people in front, and others join the queue behind me.

One particular mum will turn up bang on collection time (fine) and just walk past the queue of people patiently waiting and stand right in front of the gate.
As if we aren’t all there for the same reason.

It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us, but so far haven’t said anything because I can’t be arsed with any playground drama, although yesterday I was tempted to side step in front of her just as the gate was open.

is this not just straight up rude behaviour?

Please do! I live vicariously through other people outing CFs and their CFy ways

But it isnt actually a queue - it has no purpose other than walking through a gate. Most school gates do not have a queue requirement.If they did where is the newsletter rule stating everyone must queue? It is simply because of the size of the gate that it looks like a queue.

You are lobbing judgemental insults at a lady of whom you know nothing of her personal circumstances, because a person online told you that this person did not comply with the unwritten norms of a gathering of people waiting for a gate to open.

I dont think there is a clear established queue if there is no official requirement to queue, and there is no purpose to the queue other than to walk through a gate to another outdoor area where you wait (not in any queue) for children to randomly exit a building. Its just a gathering of people waiting to walk through a gate. The whole discussion is about whether the lady was rude for not obeying the unwritten rules of queuing. But if there isnt a queue then its a pointless discussion.

But there is a queue!!!! Whether it’s official or not there is one. She said. Lots of people line up one behind the other to then go through the gate.

Yoi don’t need a sign to tell you to queue. In a cafe, do you do just walk past a queue to the front? Baring in kind there isn’t usually a sign that tells you to queue.

Im assuming if you saw a queue (regardless of a frigging sign) you’d just walk straight past it and make sure you’re at the front.

it’s just rude. Even if it wasn’t a queue and more of a huddle like in some schools with bigger gates, and some parents were nearer the front and then gathered behind etc…..even in the scenario I’d still consider it rude to walk around the gathering/huddle to make sure right at the front.

edited for typo. I expect there’s more but I can’t be bothered!!!

OP your title for this discussion was "What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??
I find myself wondering why you are all queueing for when in fact it probably isnt a queue anyway. If the gate / path was wider I expect folk would stand in random groups of people not in what looked like queue formation. The order is completely distributed and random once you are through the gate. I think you should ask the lady if she thinks this is a queue or not as the first question.
I have really enjoyed this thread - it is a very british thread - a really heated discussion about a queue with no purpose other than to walk through a gate to stand randomly on the other side. Love it :)

People just want to argue I think.

Ha ha!! I also keep thinking why I am responding to explain what a queue is to people who clearly have no previous understanding of a queue. Queue queue queue. There you go - a few more for the collection 🤪😂😂😂😂😂

”But there is a queue!!!! Whether it’s official or not there is one.”

Is the lady trying to make a point that there doesnt need to be a queue?

“Even if it wasn’t a queue and more of a huddle like in some schools with bigger gates, and some parents were nearer the front and then gathered behind etc…..even in the scenario I’d still consider it rude to walk around the gathering/huddle to make sure right at the front.” Absolutely.

“I find myself wondering why you are all queueing for when in fact it probably isnt a queue anyway. If the gate / path was wider I expect folk would stand in random groups of people not in what looked like queue formation.” Youve answered your own question. The gate/path isn’t wider.

There have been times I have been very happy that someone took it upon themselves to walk to the front of a line of people to find out what on earth people were lining up for, given that on several occasions it has turned out the line people were standing in actually was just that, with the actual queue being round the corner 🤣. Give an English person a line of people and they’ll turn it into a queue, regardless, and happily rely on the word of another person at the back of it as to why they are all standing there and whether they are in the right place.

I walk to the front in the morning drop off because I need to push dd through the gate and leave the secongld the gates open or im late for work. I've never really thought of it being a "queue" as such just people waiting for the gates to open, the kids all go in or come out at the same time anyway. Its nothing to get uptight about really. She possibly doesn't think it's a queue and just thinks it's playground mums grouped together (as they do)

I don't know how you can care about this

This happens at ours, she has been told loads of times but chose to ignore and continues.

Haven’t RTFT due to losing the will to live. But I would call this a line rather than a queue. Surely a queue is ‘next please, next please, next please’ ad nauseam. Each person takes their turn one after the other. In this case the person at the top of the queue could theoretically be the last to be ‘served’ due to child being last to leave. So, to me it’s a line. An ever shifting, unpredictable line of humans. The woman in question sounds like a complete maverick who doesn’t follow the imaginary rules. I like her style🤣

Don't let it get to you. You are feeding her energy. Give thanks every time it happens because you only have to deal with her briefly - her family has to live with her (can you imagine how they feel?)
Some people want to be first in line for everything including their own funerals 🤣

You ask what does this mum think? Well maybe she's just thinking about what to have for dinner or 101 other things not relating to school pickup.

On the issue about whether its a genuine queue or not, in my experience anytime someone has accidently (or deliberately) gone to the front of a queue, then someone usually taps them on the shoulder and says "excuse me, but this is a queue". They then follow the queue, asking every now and again, "are you in the queue?" Until someone says "No, I'm not in the queue". They then join the back of the queue.

If no one is pointing out to this mum that there is a queue and asking them to get to the back of the queue then it isn't a real queue, its just people standing about.

Honestly, Mumsnet is hilarious sometimes. It is so hung up on so many different kinds of antiquated etiquette, and yet apparently bypassing an obvious queue (by definition, a line of people waiting to get in somewhere) is A-OK if it means you can argue with someone on the internet 😂 And obviously all these posters clearly know the set up at the OP's school better than she does herself.

Is she Russian?

I don't really see it as a queue

Maybe she’s in a hurry. Maybe her child gets very upset if she isn’t there when they come out. Maybe her child has SEN and comes out first so she needs to get to the playground first.

Sounds like you go to the same school as me when I collect my kids... drives me mad that does.

Maybe she should get there earlier then 🤷

Then maybe she should arrive earlier, ring the buzzer and enter school grounds in time to get her child on time.

I'm with you OP. It IS a queue and she is rude to walk to the front of it.

I'm the mum.
i saw it as everyone having their 'spot'. I just see it as my spot to stand and wait and you have yours. Since the kids get released and different times and ours aren't in the same class or year.

I asked what she thinks we are all queuing for - not what she’s thinking about in general, which in your guess is nothing more than any of the other parents there will be, and yet they are able to acknowledge the queue of people also waiting and not rush to the front.

line, queue, either way I wouldn’t think for a second that I should just go to the front like my need or desire to get through the gate was greater than any of the other people who had bothered their arse to get there sooner.