Visiting a school run dad when he is on his own

[Eastie77Returns]

I know MN has strong opinions on this so thought I’d ask😅 Would you consider it inappropriate for a woman visit a school run SAHD she is friendly when he is on his own at home during the day? It is for a coffee and chat about a work related matter. All DC are at school and his wife is at work.

You mentioned your office. Would it be more appropriate to get him to go there ,there will be others around most likely. I would imagine you need to feel safe as well. I am sure you would feel safer if you met him at your workplace and less likely to start any gossip happening.

It’s absolutely fine, as long as it’s not a secret to either partner.

I really wonder about someone who feels that an unrelated man and woman need to be chaperoned.

Are you afraid of him sexually assaulting the OP, or are you actually afraid they’re going to start ripping one another’s clothes off?

Why worry what people on MN think? Either do it or don’t. 🤷‍♀️

I don’t really need to feel safe. It’s a coffee in the middle of the day with someone I don’t think poses any threat to my safety.

Probably. Not cos they’re shagging their school mum friends though, it’s because they get bored of shagging each other 🤣

I think if he and your mum friends all have their babies with them, that puts a completely different spin on things! It will be less gazing into each other's eyes, more eyes glazing over with tiredness. And besides, nobody looks sexy with the sight and smell of possetted baby milk on their shoulder, so I think you're safe in this scenario.

I had to think about this a bit. It's not lack of trust for partner. More that I don't know a person who is visiting my house on pretty friendly terms with my partner. They probably haven't got an intention to seduce him and if they did that is his issue to handle. I think I don't like the fact that I can't control what my house is like when they visit and it could be a mess that day. I don't like that they get to know things about me by seeing my stuff and how I live but I know nothing about them. Irrational I know.

No that makes perfect sense and not irrational at all.

The reason I asked about trust is because what I do find irrational is when women insist they trust their DH but don’t think he should spend time alone with a female friend/other women. There are threads MN from women losing their minds because DH went to lunch with a female colleague but when probed say it’s nothing to do with trust issues.

Of course in the real world it’s fine. On Mumsnet, you will be regarded as a husband stealing harlot he will be unable,poor love, to resist.

Damn I thought I was looking quite alluring right now with my posset shoulders

Why is it your issue if the house is a mess when a friend of your DH’s visits in your absence, though? Just tell him to clear up beforehand, surely.

And if the OP’s friend that she’s visiting is a SAHD, then the cleanliness or otherwise of the house is his concern, rather than his wife’s. I mean, assuming they don’t repair upstairs to rip one another’s’ clothes off, she’ll see the hall, kitchen and possibly the loo. Not be fossicking in drawers or running her hand along skirting boards checking for dust.

Posset — the accessory that goes with (literally) everything.😀

I think its completely inappropriate. Why on earth cant you meet him in a cafe. The fact you are even asking sounds odd. Why would you need to go to someone's house ?