Visiting a school run dad when he is on his own

[Eastie77Returns]

I know MN has strong opinions on this so thought I’d ask😅 Would you consider it inappropriate for a woman visit a school run SAHD she is friendly when he is on his own at home during the day? It is for a coffee and chat about a work related matter. All DC are at school and his wife is at work.

Oh is it 1950? My best friend is a married man and I meet him for tea not coffee - if that makes a difference - in his house. What a loony tune idea that men and women cannot be friends without there being sexual tension. And fairly childish too. His wife is fine with it, because she is a normal person.

@Arlanymor

Oh, you sweet summer child................. 🙄

As I said, it's a parallel universe on here. 😆

I would judge each case separately.

I have met up with numerous male friends at their houses without their wives and children around and thought nothing of it.

If I had a speck of a suspicion that they secretly fancied me though I wouldn't. Nor would I if I secretly fancied them. In those cases I'd meet somewhere public or with spouses/kids around.

I have no idea really. We all live on the same road but I have only seen her twice in all the time we’ve lived here and I’ve never seen her on the school run. I do not discuss personal stuff with the school dad and I don’t know anything about her. I don’t think I’ve crossed any kind of boundary with him but my friends comments about the inappropriateness of meeting in his house has made me rethink.

He doesn't fancy me, I don't fancy him.

He's like a brother.

Oh you ignorant twat...

You don't speak for all women.

You don't get to decide what all women should find acceptable.

Encore!

I genuinely find it sad that some women think this way - they must live their life in a constant state of terror. Plus I guess it also means they fancy all of the dregs of men that they come across. Because, you know, men and women ALWAYS fancy each other and can't be friends... (Give me strength).

Yes pp , but it’s around to a man’s house for coffee , & men have penises so she’s better off staying at home for herself 🤣 🤣

😆

This him OP?

I don’t think it’s a problem. You live on the same street and are doing a similar job. Just don’t make it a regular thing or the school gossips will be out to get you!

He had sex in a shop - twice - not in his house!

You need to watch the feud!! 😬

True!

If you live on the same street then TBH I would go to his house, it would be weirder not to - BUT don’t forget that it’s always possible he has some intentions.
I would go but keep it very businesslike in tone eg ‘I’ve bought us coffee as I’ve only got an hour max before pickup’ That way if he was entertaining any ideas he will get that you are not. And wear something unappealing so that he won’t think you’ve made an effort.
shouldn’t be necessary but sometimes it’s just easier to avoid complications

Hear, hear. It’s really not that difficult not to rip someone’s clothes off as you’re drinking coffee in his kitchen. One of my closest friends is someone I met this way, although his child moved schools not long after. I can assure you that being unchaperoned didn’t suddenly make us start playing footsie.

It's insane!

I honestly worry for people.

So you have never had a male friend in your life? And if you did, and you met him on your own, he would just pin you down and shag you instantly? Do you need a chaperone, like in Saudi Arabia or Jane Austen times?

I think for me it’s that someone’s home seems like a very personal space. I would prefer to meet an acquaintance that I’ve done a work favour for in a more neutral space regardless of gender.

It’s different with a close friend.

Yes.

Meet up openly in a cafe with other people around.

This sounds right imo.

I'm way beyond the school run stage (thankfully judging by what I read here) but it surprises me the amount of women who don't believe that it's possible for a man and woman to be friends with no interest in being anything other than friends. I'm in my mid 50's, grew up in rural Ireland and if I had restricted my friendship group to just women I would have been extremely lonely. From my teens to current day I have male friends that mean as much to me as my female friends, I would even say my best friend is male,we met in our 30's through work, both of us are married and see each other usually without our spouses. And I'll blow your minds by telling you I'm friends with not one, but two ex boyfriends, both of who were a huge support when my mother was dying, more so than a lot of my female friends. I don't know many people of my age who have issues with opposite sex friendships, maybe its an age thing or to do with growing up in a rural place with few children so you were friends with whoever was nearby.

Ha, well you know what men are like. Some of them, you just have to smile at them and they think they're onto something.

There really is no reason why you can't meet at a coffee shop. Do that and keep it simple.

I gave up having male friends as they always ended up wanting a shag, and it got very awkward.