What makes someone a loser in life? Be honest!

[Benny91]

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

what are your thoughts?

I agree, it’s lack of ambition, lack of motivation and always just being ‘meh’ people who have no drive to be better, happy to stay on benefits, happy to have no career. These aren’t my people. It’s not about unskilled jobs etc, all jobs are important it’s the lack of motivation to direct your own life that makes me steer away from people.

edited to add - people ( mainly women) who think the key to success is having a husband provide it to them on a plate. No no. Not for me. If you want a great life then you need to make it happen, no one is a passenger in this!

I suppose a victim position is a loser and the opposite is empowerment / a sense of permission

Life is complicated and messy, and I think the majority of us do the best we can with what life has thrown at us and with the resources we have (internal and external).

Well all have different upbringings, different life experiences and challenges, and it's reductive to label people who live differently to you or value different things as losers.

I think I’m a loser. I think Im capable
of doing so much more with my life than working at my tedious and respectable job and occasionally posting on Mumsnet but this is soooo much easier and less risky.

Yes!

Someone who sits around and smokes weed all day.

I concur

If they are on benefits then it is probably due to being in an area that has silly high rents.
Social housing is like hen's teeth now, so the people in the low paid jobs are getting UC to help with housing.

Are you saying that someone in a low paid job should not get a UC top up to afford to be housed?

I don't like to think of anyone as a loser.

I did go out with a chap like that. Looking back, I have no idea why I went out with him. Weed smokers are only interesting to other weed smokers.

a lot of judgement on this thread, quite dismal reading tbh

Move to a cheaper area? (Or make plans to)
Do a shared house, do something else?

My basic run of the mill AI calcs say a FT on minimum wage pays alright in the "cheaper areas" of the UK. As in you can make ends meet if you budget.

Then again, I wouldn't plan on staying on minimum wage for my entire life. I'd try and make a plan to do something and improve my situation.

Me too. There’s no nuance at all. I know someone living on benefits with mental health issues. They don’t do anything ‘useful’ but they keep themselves busy in their own way. I wouldn’t consider them a loser, more like a survivor in difficult circumstances.
I’m also wondering what a winner would look like according to these standards? Having initiative, ambition and drive can lead to terrible things. Like wars, for example.

Even cheap areas are expensive now. And people on low paid jobs need to live where those jobs are, otherwise no one would be there to do those jobs.

Moving is expensive, and moving for a min wage job where you can be sacked for any reason for 2 years makes no sense.

Okay then. Budget better. Do a house share. Don't plan to be on low-wage forever. Make a path out of it.

Each week has 7 days. Each day has 24 hours. Use them.

Shouldn't be on me or my fellow taxpayers.

The people in those jobs pay tax too, and will be the ones literally wiping your ass when the time comes.
You seem to look down on those very same people who propped up the country during Covid.
Years ago, they would have not needed UC to live on top their wages. Now they do, and that is not their fault.

They are not the losers here. The people judging them are.

Being a shit Disney dad who refuses to pay child support out of spite and has never even washed an item of their own child’s clothing.

A classic narcissist.
very few redeeming features. A total tosser. Unlikeable once people realise. LOSER. With whistles and bells.

Prioritizing their love life and loneliness over the well-being of their children.

@Benny91 - can you give a bit more context? Your 2 responses are a bit vague and wishy-washy.

Someone who constantly blames other people for where they are now in their life

Most people admire the rags to riches stories. I certainly do. A loser to me is not someone in a bad position because that can change, its the state of mind.

I’d label taking drugs, committing crime, bullying, having no ambition or moral compass as loser behaviours.

Carers I have sympathy for because their wages are controlled by government funding. I have a lot of sympathy for those whose wages are linked to government funding.

I worked and my family worked during COVID? All jobs were essential.

If someone continually (not temporarily) relies on government support, at some point we have to ask why and if they can be made not reliant on the state.

So me being a bus driver at 32 and going to the gym often and is going through the process of buying a house. I left college with level 2 qualifications, but I’m doing an Open University course in January. Does that make me a loser?