What makes someone a loser in life? Be honest!

[Benny91]

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

what are your thoughts?

Maybe they have depression. Maybe they are fighting battles you have no idea about.

People who constantly have to benchmark themselves against other people, who can't just enjoy their own life and create their own contentment.

You're such a loser with that comment.

No I am not. I excuse those who are disabled (physically and mentally). It only really bothers me if you're on benefits (that are not related to disability and/or caring).

Having kids, but not raising them.

People who get their kicks out of hurting others. That is it.

This thread feels like a thinly veiled snipe at people in low paid jobs. Typical MN.

Mumsnet is a site full of middle class w*! Came here cause netmums pretty much collapsed. Me and all my work mates are indeed a bunch of losers 🤣🤣🤣. I wonder how many of the regular customers think that! Infact a lot of people where I live are in low paid jobs. So that's a small rural town with a lot of losers apparently. Yet its a lovely little place with a fab community.

Drink or drug driving. That makes a person a bellend loser

There's a guy I bump into sometimes once know since we were little kids and were good friends during primary school. Sad to say I think he's one of lifes losers in that nothing (jobs, relationships) seems to work out for him and he seems kind of lonely.

But @100thbillionthnamechange101 - I do agree, cruelty is perhaps being the real loser. I mean, look at Elon Musk - richest man in the universe but stuck in a mindset of mocking, hurting and self aggrandisement rather than leaving any positive legacy at all.

Without supermarket staff or GP receptionists or your child's reaching assistants at school who are all 'low skilled' then you wouldn't get far in life would you

If my learning disabled son grows up to get and maintain a low skilled job, I'd be the proudest mum alive.

However, fit, healthy people who do nothing for themselves or others yet moan about their own circumstances and just let life happen to them are losers imo

Losers are full of anger and hatred.
That's losing at life, not bringing anything positive into the world.

^^ this
Unkind, abusive, aggressive people are more off putting than ‘no ambition’ which is a bit of a cultural/social construct anyway. I love my career and progressing but wouldn’t judge anyone who doesn’t want to progress/train or have a ‘career’

Benny91
Someone who lacks motivation to do something.

In a world of burnout and neglect this is something that needs to be rethought. All the people striving to be top of their game who don’t have time for their families and friends- by your reasoning that’s something to aim for!

I generally don't think of anyone as a loser, it's a horrible term. But for me the people i respect the least are sheep. They come from all walks of life and all shapes and sizes. Anyone who does something without forming their own view because their neighbour did it or worse because an influencer said so. Anyone whose interests and opinions depend on what's trending...

You can be just like that and be happy with your life as it is. If you are happy, then you are not a loser.

Exactly. Your life is down to you

Not sure why people are jumping to equate ambition with jobs/careers etc.

Ambition can mean many things. It can mean a desire for foreign travel, to succeed at a particular sport/hobby/activity, it can mean x number of children, it can mean living in a better place. It doesn't have to be all about your job.

Someone without self awareness or perspective. Someone who only ever compares up, not down. Someone who isn't interested in other people and things outside their experience. Someone who is greedy. Someone who is callous.

I think a lot of it is to do with mindset.
People make excuses instead of making an effort.
If you are determined to have a good life, to do the best you can with what you have, you can't go far wrong.

It’s a front. They know they are losers. Unless they are in an echo chamber of similar people. For example the whole road they live in and all of their friends are like them. The examples of seeing working people as mugs because the pompous loser is a longtime able bodied parasite on benefits or their elderly parents fund them is a front, it’s always a sore point and they’re embarrassed inside.

That is depression its an illness

I don't even think lack of any sort of ambition makes someone a loser, or having a lack of desire for other things. You can be happy with how things are, and what you have, and not feel the need to strive for bigger/better things.
And people who are happy with their lot are not losers.

Genuinely, I don't think so, in the case of the people I'm thinking of, whom I've known for many, many years. They really think this.

Yes, but that is more on a basic level. Things such as lacking motivation for basic self care etc.
Not lacking motivation to get a career. Not wanting a career is not an illness, nor does it make someone a loser.