What makes someone a loser in life? Be honest!

[Benny91]

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

what are your thoughts?

I’m 32 too! Recently given up my whole career to stay at home with my child which people can be really patronising about.

My little one LOVES buses. I’d be so proud of him if he became a bus driver.

You are doing great 😊

It makes you bloody amazing!

1. Full time job.
2. Home buyer.
3. Studying alongside working full-time.

I'd be very proud if my kids ended up being that industrious.

There are many reasons why someone might still live at home at 40. It could be due to their own illness - or the illness of their parents (in which case, isn't it admirable that they take care of them?). Equally, they could just get on with their parents/family really well and actually like living together. It wasn't given a second thought in history - across the classes - and is the norm in other cultures. It is perfectly possibly to have an independent life as an adult and still live with your parents!

Thank you!

No why would being a bus driver make you a loser?
youve had several threads discussing if you’re a “loser” for being a bus driver, kindly, I feel maybe investigate therapy of some kind, to work on your self esteem, this feels very much a self focused hatred and you will never find the answers in a mumsnet thread and having this constant cloud of self doubt over yourself can’t be good.

I get vibes from strangers as I live in Surrey and people like to judge or smirk when they see a young man driving a Bus!

Multigenerational living had been (and still is) the normal path to prosperity and upward mobility for most of humankind.

as you’re having this self doubt you are probably interpreting looks differently to how they are, I’ve had it too when I’ve really struggled with self esteem, realistically 99% aren’t even noticing or caring about you, they don’t care what your job is, they’re just going to their destination. Have a good investigation of different therapy options, it can be life changing, I’ve been there with the crippling self doubt and honestly it realistically is you interpreting their looks as such because of self doubt, not what it actually is.

Subjective, but for me it is not really engaging with life on more than a surface level. By that I mean doing what is expected, bare minimum daily, having no independent thought or desire to help anyone other than themselves. Someone who literally wakes up, works, comes home, watches telly and sleeps then does it again the next day. I get for most that is seemingly the only option, but reading, chatting, helping, having freedom to think outside the box is important to me rather than mindless consumption on a hamster wheel.

I spoke to a guy the other day who had very strong opinions but admitted he never read a paper or watched the news and was not educated. How did this man decide his opinions were valid? Because his job gets him out meeting people and seeing what the situation is in real life, not from an office block in London with the highlights of news being emailed. Engagement in the real world is hugely important and a lot of people don't seem to do it or have time for it.

Your income is sufficient to meet your needs?

@Benny91 how much harder is it to pass through bus driving test than the car one?

Are buses automatic or manual?

I don’t think of anyone as a loser in life, everyone has a different experience in life that takes them in all different directions. I think it’s actually quite mean spirited to suggest anyone is a loser or garner opinions on it.

No not at all. You have a job, savings, progressing with your education and buying a property. Oure also keeping fit and healthy. You're doing well actually, you should be proud of yourself.

Anyone who refuses to take responsibility for themselves and for the feckless decisions they make.

People born with a silver spoon in their mouths that don't have half the drive (sorry for the pun!) or ambition that you do. Fuck 'em.

We don't all get to uni supported and pushed by the bank of mum and dad. Some of us have to claw our way there. Stronger! Better!

Bus drivers are part of what makes society work.
Essential.

OP, this is the second time you've posted about this recently, using the term 'loser' in both posts. Honestly, I think you primarily need to work on your self-esteem.

No, being a shit to other people makes someone a loser.

I often see the big ads on my local buses about them needing drivers, and the wage isn't that bad either.

If you are happy with how your life is, then ignore the judgemental people. They are the losers, not you.

People who are selfish or unkind to others.

In my eyes there’s nothing wrong with plodding along or having low ambition. The key to life is contentment and people get that in many ways.

It’s actually quite easy to pass the tests. All buses nowadays are automatic.

I'd love to drive buses. ❤️ Or Trains!

It's simple for me....a loser is somebody who isn't happy in their life and makes others unhappy too.

Finding true contentment in life is the only thing that matters as far as I'm concerned. Doesn't matter if that means running a billion pound company, raising 10 kids or living in a shack in the woods.

Believing in conspiracy theories and defending them robustly. This is an A-grade loser. I lose respect in seconds for people like this.

Not a nice label but basically I guess anyone who has the brains and capability to put something into the world but chooses not to because they can't be bothered. Not taking responsibility for your actions, such as providing for your child, expecting others to take the brunt, entitlement of any kind.

Some people just naturally want a quiet easy life but as long as it's not at the expense of others.

Yes! I have friends who live at home with their parents and they are very happy and content. The norm doesn't work for everyone.