What makes someone a loser in life? Be honest!

[Benny91]

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

what are your thoughts?

And again I haven't said it was if that is a choice someone is making like myself to work a low skilled job. However the person who i was replying to said what makes someone a loser is lack of motivation to which I said thats depression she never mentioned anything about a job. So again either read what is actually being written or just leave me alone.

You do not have good intentions by asking. That is clear to see.
It is also none of your business.

OK, you have clearly not understood anything I have said.
I give up.

No job, no interest in getting one.
Doesn’t financially support their children.
Cheats on and/or treats their significant other cruelly.
Drug/alcohol/gambling issues which they’ve no interest in seeking help for.
Happy to be reliant on benefits when they feasibly could work.

I'd say a loser who is someone who looks down on others to make themselves feel better. Remind you of anyone OP?

Someone who does nothing. I don't care what people do with their lives as long as they do something: be a good friend, take care of their family, have a job.

If you just live at your parents and smoke weed all day or watch tv and don't even do some housework then that's intolerable.

Yes I think you're right. Not a nice thing to say about anyone, for any reason.

Choosing not to work when they could,
Being a poor parent/partner
Letting someone else support them/be taken advantage of and not contributing to the relationship/the household/society.

I admit. I was harsh. But I am open to having my mind changed.

I understand some people are disabled, or have disabled kids or have to care for relatives.

Yes I will honest. I'm not in either of those positions. Until now I wouldn't have called anyone a loser. Now I would call someone s loser who called anyone else a loser. I pity people with that attitude as they haven't any compassionate and obviously feel superior because they most likely have low self esteem issues.

Well, I wont be doing that for you.
There are other posters on here who are in low paid jobs with no progression, and they are happy in them and have the work/life balance they need and want.

Arguing on mumsnet

The kind of people on LinkedIn who live and breathe work, increasing profits/stakeholder value, "what this taught me about business," giving their entire life and soul to the "grind" - and go on about it as though they're dispensing wisdom to all. Especially if they use AI.

If they aren't on benefits that's fine by me.

You do realise that many of the teaching assistants, cleaners, lower paid council staff, healthcare assistants, waste collection teams will be on some benefits (probably housing benefit) due to low wages? Their jobs will never pay enough to scrape together a mortgage.

For me:
being involved in crime.
being able to work but not doing so because they don’t want to.
having a bad attitude that means they feel entitled to things/friendships/relationships etc without putting the work in or bothering to treat people well.
being an absentee parent without good reason.

I have thought all sorts about people. The thought, ' you horrible c**t' has often come to my mind, maybe out my mouth at my worst moment 😬

I honestly don't think of people as losers. A loser sounds like a rating given to people according to awful vacuous socials standards. Low paid, low skilled work does not at all make me think someone is a loser. Instead I look at people and determine whether they are decent humans. are they genuine and I feel ok around them. Are they cruel, manipulative or make me feel uneasy......

This is what's important.

I think you are being unkind and very short sighted. People working low skilled jobs and living with their parents all their lifes could be very successful people.
As example, someone might be a carer for parents or simply enjoy their company and prefer living with their parents.
For low skilled job: as long as someone shows up to work and does their job well, it doesn't matter whether it is skilled or well paid, they are being useful member of society.
When you say "lacks motivation" - I think there is a beauty in being content with life.

If they refuse to work enough to support themselves even though they are capable (and don't have very young children.)
If they have children they can't afford and refuse to work.
If they have children that go without so they can have little luxuries (smoke, drink, tattoos, nails etc.)
If they choose a new partner over their children's wellbeing. That screams horny teenager to me.
If they do nothing to better themselves, then are victims that complain about life, taking no accountability for their own situation. You make your own luck.

No, they really aren't. You sound very unpleasant and quite stupid.

Me - the way i feel. Working ridiculously hard for average wages. DH who I should have left years ago (lying, cheating). Only 1 child when I was desperate for 2. Undiagnosed adhd means very unstable life history.

Basically, making poor choices and not living up to your potential, be it spiritual, finanical or familial. Whatever is most important to you. I don't think it can be judged from the outside.

Which is why I would not want my kids to spend their entire life doing that.

I tell my kids not to be complacent and to always look for the better opportunities and to get paid more.

My DS recently graduated from his integrated maths master's and is earning a £28k as a data analyst for his first job. It's not much but because he's staying with us and just takes the bus to work it's fine. We don't charge him rent, but make him pay for all his outgoings.

DH and I have told him that it's all nice when he's living with us, but he'll need to step up and work his way up if he wants to move out, buy his own place so he can ultimately have his own family.

Is a full time job on NMW with 0 dependents not enough to live off anywhere in the country if you budget hard enough?

For me a person enter loser territory when they become bitter, angry and blames others for life not working out how they wanted. It’s more of an attitude/vibe rather than a judgement of their life’s achievements.

There is a huge element of right place right time in life. Sometimes stuff works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Life is a journey not a destination. Some people never fully ‘get it together’ but are great to be around so definitely not losers.

I don’t think it’s about what they do or what they have, it’s more about their attitude. So I think I tend to think someone is a loser if they moan and whinge about their circumstances but do nothing to actively change them and at the same time show resentment of other people who they perceive to have more success or have it easy. People with a chippy attitude. So DH and I regard a middle aged professional contact of his as a loser. He is very wealthy by any measure as he inherited a large estate with big house, farm and outbuildings but in his view, insufficient liquid assets to maintain them. He seems to resent his late father for failing to have sorted this, god forbid he might have to sell odd coach house or cottage.

I don’t regard friends or friends’ children who haven’t a pot to piss in but who are having a merry time travelling the world doing bar work or teaching EFL as losers. Likewise people who just aren’t bothered about material things and the rat race.

100 per cent. The Nan doesn’t seem to intervene and question the kid’s future. To write yourself off at 16 with the blessing of your mother and grandmother is anathema to me.