What makes someone a loser in life? Be honest!

[Benny91]

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

what are your thoughts?

Most of the world's greatest philosophers have had very unconventional views about what a useful life looks like.

I’m sure. Not good is it x

Losing at life - having bad things happen to you that aren't your fault.

Loser - not learning from experience.

Lack of ambition, no clear vision as to what their future should be, just plodding along with no real direction.

People who lack motivation- people who have enough money but can't seem to enjoy life- people who don't figure out how to improve their situations

this sounds like depression to me.

A lot of people seem to see suffering with depression as 'being a loser'. I am a loser.

No, not at all it is tragic really.

those that expect everything to be given to them, have no motivation & basically can't be bothered.

nothing wrong at all in working an unskilled job if that suits you

Losers:-

Chosing to live on benefits rather than working (Don't jump on me, you all know the type). Never having aspirations to train/educate yourself, buy a house, have nice holidays abroad, give your kids a childhood full of happy memories.

Gambling Addicts / Drug Addicts that never stop and destroy their families.

Men who trade their wives for younger models until one day, they're too old and live a sad lonely existence with only memories of NC children.

Men who forget about their kids once a new younger GF appears on the scene and try all the tricks in the book not to pay CM.

People who moan all the time. Local FB group - Bob "Bloody council, pot holes everywhere' and a week later 'Bloody Council, putting up traffic lights to repair the road'.

Women who end up pregnant within 1st couple of months of a new relationship with a loser as they didn't bother with contraception. It's 2025, no excuse, have more respect for yourself.

Its not something I concern myself with.

"Loser" is such American, capitalist bullshit. I think anyone who thinks of complex human beings as being "winners" or "losers" is a loser.

And the idea of "ambition" is such a cheesy cliché; the type of thing those drongos that go on The Apprentice bang on about. If somebody describes themselves as "ambitious", it's a huge red flag.

My acquaintance. Won't go into all his life, suffice to say - there were no mental issues/major traumas/learning difficulties.

He just coasted, sponging off various people, using his charm and good looks. Now he's in a rented shabby flat, no family and not many friends, menial job when he can be bothered, but usually jobless, can't afford anything, and if you meet him in town, he'd always ask for couple of quid for the beer or to 'bum a fag'. He's 52.

Look at it however you want - he's a loser. He's not thick, well read and smart, slightly a 'misunderstood artist' type. Just inherently extremely lazy.

Totally agree.

The key is to break the cycle but if you’re not armed with the skills…

Yup, DH and I feel like we're watching it happen in real life with someone we know. It's likely to be a third generation. This generation at least has social services and school involved who genuinely are trying but I'm not optimistic.

People who use the word loser

I have said this word in anger about particularly irritating teen boy behaviour in the past. I’m sure you know what I mean- stupid decisions around drink, drugs, school attendance, money. thankfully, the majority outgrow it and become fine adults. If they did not, well, that might make them losers. I have known high functioning heroin addicts be good parents, solvent and pillars of their communities however so what do I know?

It’s almost like watching a car crash in slow motion isn’t it. I too know someone who thinks it’s fine to let her son stay off school because “he doesn’t like people”. wtf life does he have to look forward to??

I am quite shocked at the comments about low skilled jobs and living at home. If a job is needed then someone has to do it and they can be proud. If you live at home and contribute, that’s a decision that is private and a multigenerational living situation is fine.

I saw a program on pickpockets in Europe ( they are over here as well) they are true parasites. Honestly and integrity is all you have really to your name when you come down to it. They could work a low skilled job but they are greedy and want it now and quick, pitiful.

People who deliberately inflict harm and misery to those around them, repeatedly and without any accountability or remorse.
Being a loser has nothing whatsoever to do with what job you hold down?! It's to do with choosing to create chaos and upset to others, often those closest to them. People who create generations of hurt and also learned behaviour.

the car crash in slow motion is 100% the analogy I'd use. And it's like as we get closer and closer, you can see how much worse it's going to be, if that makes sense? To extend the analogy I guess it's like in the beginning you saw the two cars weren't going to stop and were going to hit but you weren't sure how bad it was going to be, but now (years later), the two cars are already touching and you've realised they're both going to plummet into a frozen lake.....

It's like the inverse of generational wealth and privilege.

I have an ex boss who was a total workaholic. Rarely took holidays, and even though things functioned perfectly well without him, was always interfering from his holidays and moaning about being indispensable.

Long story short, he was actually also the owner of the product our company sold, and there was a very messy detangling of interests. He pulled some seriously illegal moves and screwed a lot of people over to achieve his grand goal of retiring at 55.

Thing is, he didn't exactly make a fortune. He came away with half a million in the end. But he'd also lost all his friends, and what can he do in retirement? Hardly anything. Because loads of his money was dodgily tied up in Russia, and because he's such a workaholic he doesn't know what to do with his life.

He could have easily retired at 55 by working and ordinary amount and passively investing/sensibly spending his large salary.

Now THAT'S a loser.

For me it's not about ambition, not everyone has to be highly ambitious or have the best job.

For me it's wanting everything for free, living like a pig, swearing every other word, spending all their money on booze, numerous kids that they have no idea how to parent...and you know those kids will probably grow up to be the same.

'low skilled job all your life" - yes if the person isn't disabled.

Like damn, you'd be the example I give to my kids on what happens if you don't work hard at school.

When you disparage low skilled jobs, you end up with people being ‘too good’ for that type of job in their own minds. Benefits pay the same/similar, why bother. Pride in cleaning the toilets or digging or stacking a shelf. I respect those people so much for what they do for us all.

Someone even mentioned sahm on here. It may not be 100% wise but that’s why you should have a marriage contract, business is business after all.