What makes someone a loser in life? Be honest!

[Benny91]

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

what are your thoughts?

People who don't live their lives out of fear and make excuses all the time; people who don't contribute to society in anyway (or negatively contribute to society); people who are negative and bring others down with their toxicity; bullies who pick on those weaker than them. Animal and child abusers are the ultimate losers.

Low paid jobs and living at home are perfectly fine! Lots of people thrive in this environment. I would never think someone a loser for this unless they were resentful of others, complained the whole time, yet didn't do anything to try to change their situation.

It's a label that reflects a person's personal standards, so there is no one answer. The answers people give often reveal more about their own inadequacies or need to feel superior.

As opposed to those who can work and choose not to but can support themselves, or, as is so often the case, are supported by others who can afford to support them?

Lucky them. And they get to look down on some of us into the bargain!

Someone who always sees themselves as a victim, doesn't have any 'get up and go' to try to improve their own circumstances. People who only ever blame others for their poor luck without making an attempt to improve their own circumstances.

Id say people who have children but aren’t a present parent. I wouldn’t care how much my partner earned as long as his priorities were in the right place. My friends brother has a daughter from a previous relationship, he makes no effort with her and when he does have her he just plays the PlayStation and expects her to entertain herself (she’s ten now but this has been going on for years) . My friend makes the effort to go round on the weekends he has her and do arts and crafts, special dinners etc as she hates the thought of her feeling uncomfortable/ ignored. To me, he is a loser. Even if he hates being a dad, he could fake it and make an effort one weekend a month.

Some definitely are. People who stay at home and sponge off family.

You see, I can think of people who would view that as 'winning' because they haven't had to go out and fend for themselves and make an independent life.

I can certainly think of a member of DH's extended family who'd never moved out of his family home, was in his sixties and still being cooked for, washed for, and fussed over by his octogenarian mother. He certainly thought the rest of us were total mugs for having jobs and mortgages, while he spent his days in the pub, apart from infrequent casual jobs.

ETA My point was that what constitutes 'winning' and 'losing' is subjective.

People who mistreat animals and wildlife. They can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

Being really selfish, rude, cruel, hypercritical of everyone you meet, have no concerns for anyone's feelings or for society as a whole, being unkind or cruel to animals, doing violent crime and antisocial behaviour, being a sex offender, being racist, misogynistic, homophobic, ableist, unwilling to pay your taxes or debts.

That makes you a loser.

Bad social skills - whiny, boring, selfish.

Makes a massive difference to job chances and support networks when others spot you’re a heartsink.

Moaners who leverage your compassion instantly 🚩 often turn out not very nice either.

Just wondering what makes someone a loser in life? Is it working a low skilled job all your life? Living at home still at 40?

I would say that if someone is doing those things and are happy, they are very much the winners in life.

OTOH someone who works in a professional job, behaves like an arse, is never at home, has an unhealthy lifestyle, drinks too much and snorts their wages up their nose, doesn’t scream winner to me.

Some people actively choose this approach, I don't think it makes them a 'loser'.

If someone doesn't do the low paid jobs how do they get done ? And if you are single and live with a parent at 40 then you have more money good for them.

Absolutely this.

My DH has a single mum friend, who's not worked since her daughter was born nearly 18 years ago. She's surviving on benefits after she moved to Somerset and claims she is better off on benefits, and the work is too poorly paid so it isn't worth looking 😳

I doubt anyone as an employer would want to train her or take her on now, after nearly 18 years of unemployment. I often wonder what she is going to do once her daughter isn't eligible for benefits when she turns 18 soon.

It's a funny situation but I guess she has her reasons.

Probably a combination of things rather than just one so:

Living with parents mid 30's plus/never lived away. Mummy does all the washing, shopping and household chores. Doesn't contribute to the family bills. Not trying to get a job and not studying either and not sick, just bone idle. Doesn't drive, has never learned.

All/most of those above factors combined.

Or lives a life in crime, totally separate scenario to above.

My friends ex. Father to her 3 kids, left her, didn’t pay her a penny but had tattoos of his girls names and all “my girls my girls” but hardly saw them. Smoked loads of weed, got engaged to his next few girlfriends. Blames my friend for everything but he is such a LOSER. Was caught doing naughty stuff in his job, got sacked. Not his fault though. Urgh I don’t even want to look at his weasely face

Agreed. Its okay to just exist and be average.

I'm on the fence with this one. For those who have no health conditions preventing work, I think they shouldn't actively choose unemployment.

Losers litter, speed, flytip, idle their vehicles, don't pick up dog mess, drop cigarette and firework litter, don't bring their bins in.......

I mean he sounds an absolute loser

People who make bad choices, and then blame everyone and everything except themselves.

Sure, but if the question is whether they're 'losers' at life, certainly some of these people who are known to me would regard themselves as winners and the rest of us as mugs and sheeple.

I suppose it depends who is making the call.

People who prop up their own ego by judging other people and indulging a baseless sense of superiority.

Someone who blames other people for everything.

Someone who never takes responsibility for anything.

Everything happens TO them.

People who are hoovers (suck the energy out of everything/ every one) instead of radiators.

Shudder.

Some of them comments are very judgemental.

There are some clear losers on this thread.
Lacking in empathy, understanding and critical thinking.