Why is it taboo to admit you are having children because you want to be looked after when old?

[KeenTaupeDog]

I’ve noticed that any time someone hints at this, people jump down their throats — “children aren’t your pension,” “that’s selfish,” etc.
But if we’re being honest, this used to be the whole point of having kids. In many cultures it still is. Even here, plenty of parents quietly hope their kids will care about them when they’re elderly — not just emotionally, but practically.
We act as if you’re only supposed to have children out of pure love or to “nurture the next generation,” and that expecting any return is somehow shameful. Yet everyone still wants family nearby when they’re frail, lonely or ill.
Why is it socially unacceptable to say the quiet part out loud? Is it because we’ve built an ideology of self-sufficiency that makes dependence feel dirty — even though in reality, we’ll all need someone in the end?
Not trying to be provocative, genuinely curious what people think.

And not even that, there's the on-going aftermath afterwards. Most suicidal deaths will involve police involvement which your grieving children will have to deal with. Dealing with things such as life insurance which can be made more tricker in the event of suicide. Having to explain to extended family and friends the nature of their parents death too.

So they just don't suffer the death of a parent, it causes massive trauma and unnecessary added grief.

It never crossed my mind when having my children. The majority of my contemporaries live nowhere near their DPs and I hope my own DSs feel that they can live anywhere in the world. That said I'm unusual in that I do only live a mile away from my DM and I absolutely want to look after her in her old age, but she always says that I have no idea what I'd be taking on. But I'd really like to try at least.

The last 18 months of my mum's life was spent with her screaming in pain most days. She was on the highest dose of morphine patches allowed and also had Oramorph which barely touched the sides. She wanted to end her suffering but couldn't do it on her own and because she didn't want me to end up in the nick she wouldn't let me fulfil her wish. Covid got her in the end and we all cried, not through sorrow or grief but with relief that her pain was over. Had she been able to end it all she would have and we would have loved her enough to not beg her to stay.

That sounds absolutely horrendous and I should have said I wasn't referring to situations like this. I apologise, I probably should have been clearer in my original post. It was the insinuation from posters that they were going to take their own lives while still healthy to avoid needing care. I stand by my point to do that, when you have no health concerns and are not certain you would need care, would be massively traumatising for those left behind.

It may be that straightforward to you, but you can’t make statements like that about other people’s lives and emotions. Or rather, you can, but they won’t apply to everyone.

There's one other point as well. Usually when you have kids you are in your 20s or 30s, so you are young and fit and strong.

It's not so easy when you are 60 or 70 and being expected to look after someone in their 80s or 90s!