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Original poster

Devastated by HSV2 infection and want to end it

130 replies

sadflowerfox · 08/11/2025 06:49

Well…I guess the title says it all. I just need some help and perspective on this dreadful situation. 😭

I slept with two people - one on the 20th Oct and the other on 25th. Used condoms with both, but the first guy as he pulled out the condom rolled off. Luckily all contents were in there but was definitely skin on skin most likely with a lot of friction.

On the 1st Nov, start to get mild symptoms but on the 2nd Nov that’s when I started itching and noticed sores. Had a look and to my horror I knew straight away what it was. I am going through my first known outbreak now, and although it’s not as bad as what others have experienced, the mental toll it is taking on me is next level. I have not stopped crying about it. Lost half a stone in weight, can’t sleep and feel like my life is over. I spent all my time researching until my eyes bleed on potential cures, vaccines and everything in between.

I can’t stop blaming myself for this. I was raped two years ago and since then my behaviour with men has been all over the place.
The first guy (where condom rolled off) had sex with me like I was a rag doll and it was horrible and disgusting. I should have told him to leave. I let him use me like a toy and didn’t have the strength to save no when I was laying down. Felt like he actively wanted to give me something to be honest. I feel sick and violated. I don’t want to take medication for the rest of my life as it will be a constant reminder of this and the psychological association with it all. I hate when people say it’s just a skin condition. It has damaging effects on people and changes people’s lives. I hate that not more has been done to cure or tackle this. I think having a HIV diagnosis would be easier in all honesty. At least people can now take vaccines against it and one tablet for complete suppression, plus gene therapy for complete elimination soon.

I want to disappear and never look back. I genuinely don’t think I can cope with this.

OP posts:
YesAye · 09/11/2025 18:03

Oh, another thing OP.

You said you'd rather have shingles because it never comes back.
Well I have had shingles twice - both times on my face and I still have the scars to prove it.

Both times it was much worse than the herpes outbreak I had.

It's interesting that there is no stigma attached to shingles when they're both part of the same group of herpes viruses.

MidnightMeltdown · 09/11/2025 19:30

I didn’t know what HSV2 was so googled. It says that you can get it from kissing, so it might not even be down to the condom rolling off.

Thegrassroots26 · 10/11/2025 20:01

MidnightMeltdown · 09/11/2025 19:30

I didn’t know what HSV2 was so googled. It says that you can get it from kissing, so it might not even be down to the condom rolling off.

That’s HSV1 I think. So yes anyone you snog could give you that if they have the herpes virus (cold sores on lip) but usually only transfer when person has an active sore.

whatsnewpussycat34 · 12/11/2025 12:43

How are you doing @sadflowerfox

Original poster
sadflowerfox · 13/11/2025 02:01

I’m still having some very dark days…my emotions swing from pangs of angry, shame, disgust and guilt. I try to keep myself distracted but then I wake up and realise what I have, and wish it was all one, big horrible dream.

I tried to make an appointment with the sexual health clinic but they couldn’t fit me in. All my sores are almost gone now but the area is still a bit sensitive.

I don’t know if this is normal or not but I am experiencing a lot of widespread nerve and tingling pain too. The sores are all but healed and the rash is gone but I am left with all this nerve pain. It’s in my hands, feet, shoulder, arms, legs (funnily enough not in my vagina where the sores were). Also feeling nauseous and have aches in my stomach. I don’t know if that’s stress or related to the virus.

I am coming off my anti-virals to give my body a chance to find it. I’m also due on my period on Friday and worried I will get another outbreak. I still can’t believe this is happening. I feel so low…

OP posts:
Troubler · 14/11/2025 18:35

you should be able to have the blood test soon that can identify which strain you have as you’ve had your first outbreak. I also get those tingly feelings - as herpes hides in the nerves (like shingles) you can get weird nerve pain. I can it through my shoulder and across my breast and it can be very painful. It’s another reason I take the longer term Valtrex.

Glad the sores have healed - that’s pretty quick tbh. Sounds like your body is doing a good job of dealing with it.

Troubler · 14/11/2025 18:37

Periods can be a trigger (as can sunlight, that’s a big trigger for me) but it may be too soon after your last outbreak. If it does come back just make sure you get the antivirals again asap.

CosySeason · 14/11/2025 18:57

sadflowerfox · 13/11/2025 02:01

I’m still having some very dark days…my emotions swing from pangs of angry, shame, disgust and guilt. I try to keep myself distracted but then I wake up and realise what I have, and wish it was all one, big horrible dream.

I tried to make an appointment with the sexual health clinic but they couldn’t fit me in. All my sores are almost gone now but the area is still a bit sensitive.

I don’t know if this is normal or not but I am experiencing a lot of widespread nerve and tingling pain too. The sores are all but healed and the rash is gone but I am left with all this nerve pain. It’s in my hands, feet, shoulder, arms, legs (funnily enough not in my vagina where the sores were). Also feeling nauseous and have aches in my stomach. I don’t know if that’s stress or related to the virus.

I am coming off my anti-virals to give my body a chance to find it. I’m also due on my period on Friday and worried I will get another outbreak. I still can’t believe this is happening. I feel so low…

Have you been seen my sexual health? I’m surprised they are telling you they have nothing available as you have symptoms.

Original poster
sadflowerfox · 14/11/2025 22:47

@CosySeason not yet. They don’t have the best service where I live. I tried to make an appointment on Monday but they were all taken up. All sores were dried up on Wednesday which was the drop in day.

I have come on my period today which I was worried about as I thought I was going to get another outbreak but looks like I haven’t. Maybe it’s too soon but I think that’s a positive sign maybe? I am trying to hold onto anything positive at the moment as I feel like I’m spiralling. Have asked the doctor for antidepressants as I feel so bad.

I felt the Aciclovir was making my symptoms worse so I’ve come off the antivirals for now and have less nerve pain and pins and needles but they are still there.

OP posts:
Original poster
sadflowerfox · 14/11/2025 23:14

Can anyone remember when they started to feel better about their diagnosis? It’s been almost two weeks now and it’s still very difficult for me to accept.

OP posts:
ThatshallotBaby · 14/11/2025 23:49

2 weeks isn’t very long. Just keep being kind to yourself, talk to yourself as you would a good friend. It really will be ok @sadflowerfox Flowers

Original poster
sadflowerfox · 14/11/2025 23:55

Thank you @ThatshallotBaby . This thread has been so helpful to me.

OP posts:
MossAndLeaves · 15/11/2025 00:00

I would assume the first outbreak is likely to be the worst?
I would assume I have it as DH has had 2 outbreaks in the past, had antivirals to clear it up and nothing since. I've never actively shown it but would assume I'd have caught it off him given its been a decade of unprotected sex (using pill when not conceiving).

Laurinja · 15/11/2025 00:13

Im sorry it happened to you,
How did it got diagnosed? GP then credible, but dont rely on your own judgement if thats the case.
Also the guy needs to be stopped so he doesn't do this to another female.
Through police.
As he is walking infection...sleeping infection.

Troubler · 15/11/2025 11:24

@sadflowerfoxit took me a long time to really feel ok about it so don’t worry that it’s taking you some time. But in the end, all it is is a virus and I like to remind myself of that fact. I also think they will come up with a vaccine for it at some point or at least a better treatment in the next decade.

whatsnewpussycat34 · 15/11/2025 11:29

I’m still not over it to be honest, as in I still feel pretty gross about it when I’m having symptoms. But when I’m not having any symptoms, it doesn’t bother me at all.

People with it on their face seem to just get on with it though, and don’t have these feelings so i try to tell myself the facts. 80% of the population carry this virus, I’m just part of 20% that have symptoms.

It’s strange you said the antivirals made your nerve pain worse because I think it made mine worse too. It’s a long story but I tried them for the first time earlier this year and haven’t been right since!

CosySeason · 15/11/2025 11:34

I would call the clinic every morning at opening to try and get an appointment or go to your GP for a full screening.

Original poster
sadflowerfox · 15/11/2025 11:49

@Laurinja I diagnosed myself which I know isn’t the best thing to do but I know I have this. There is nothing else it could be given all the nerve pain, tingling, sores etc. I just need to figure out which strain I carry. About the guy where the condom came off, I quizzed him about it a few days ago and he said it was ‘half on’ when he was on top. I felt angry as if he knew it was only half on why didn’t he stop?! I didn’t consent to that 😞

@whatsnewpussycat34 yeah, that’s so strange. I just didn’t feel right on the them at all and I’m glad I’ve come off them now, just seeing how my body responds to it. I was worried about my period and how that would trigger it again but I don’t see anymore sores so I’m hoping that it’s okay. That’s a good way to think of it, that a huge percentage have it etc. I think for me it’s how I got it and the experience that is related to it. I battle with that daily and I truly don’t know if that will sit right with me.

@Troubler there are a few vaccines in the pipeline but also some really interesting drugs that are different to antivirals that I’ve been researching. They are aimed at making the virus sleep for long periods and not reactivate (so act more like the other herpes viruses in that sense which would be almost like a functional cure).

OP posts:
YesAye · 15/11/2025 20:59

You asked when I started to feel better about it @sadflowerfox . I started feeling better after going to the sexual health clinic. It was all so normal there and there was so much information. I suppose it was a few months before it all settled down in my mind and after that I have accepted it completely and it doesn't bother me at all now.

Original poster
sadflowerfox · 16/11/2025 00:17

@YesAye this is reassuring thank you. Today has been a rough day. I have been crying constantly but a lot of the nerve pain has resided and all the sores are gone but I’m so paranoid now. Every little itch or nerve twitch makes me think I’m going to break out again at any moment. I’m super stressed so this is a good test I suppose.

I have asked the doctor for antidepressants and will see if I can have a chat with them about it.

OP posts:
OtterlyAstounding · 16/11/2025 01:23

whatsnewpussycat34 · 15/11/2025 11:29

I’m still not over it to be honest, as in I still feel pretty gross about it when I’m having symptoms. But when I’m not having any symptoms, it doesn’t bother me at all.

People with it on their face seem to just get on with it though, and don’t have these feelings so i try to tell myself the facts. 80% of the population carry this virus, I’m just part of 20% that have symptoms.

It’s strange you said the antivirals made your nerve pain worse because I think it made mine worse too. It’s a long story but I tried them for the first time earlier this year and haven’t been right since!

Actually, I have a cold sore on my lip, and I felt absolutely disgusting with my first outbreak. It turned out that I caught it as a child and just never had an outbreak after that until my thirties, when my immune system declined enough that I had several outbreaks over a couple of years, though not for over a year now. Happily, my husband was much less bothered than me by it!

I take L-Lysine supplements that are both good for you, and help suppress outbreaks (they might work for you, OP, if antivirals didn't), and am careful about the warning signs of a possible outbreak. It's something that's important to be up-front about whether on the lip or the genitals, due to cross-infection...but as so many people may have it in one form or another, I don't think it's usually a deal breaker.

For OP, once a little time has passed to allow you to process it, and let it settle, I'm sure you'll feel so much better, and the depressed mood will pass. It's not the end of the world, and really doesn't have to be a big deal if you handle it responsibly (which it sounds like your sex partner may not have).

Original poster
sadflowerfox · 25/11/2025 17:25

Hello everyone. Just a quick update. I went to the sexual health clinic today and saw the nurse who took swabs. I think I have made the remaining sores more angry today by wearing tight knickers and by shaving. I am still on the antivirals but going to ask the doctor for a repeat prescription of Valtrax as the psychological aspects of this are still bloody huge and I can’t be taking 2-tablets a day.

How is it that HIV patients have vaccines/PreP/plus one tablet a day for complete suppression and some people have to take more pills with this and there is still a risk of passing it on? Plus still carrying a huge amount of stigma? Make it make sense!!

Anyway, I was very upset but she just seemed completely unfazed. I think she felt my reaction was extreme and told me some talking therapy would be beneficial. She also told me she probably had the virus herself as her partner had cold sores. It’s just so normalised at the clinic but that’s not real world or real life is it?

I asked her about how can I tell future partners and she suggested saying an ex had told me that he carried the virus and now I probably do too. I mean in theory that sounds ok but I don’t know if she meant also saying I had symptoms or not? And that would be lying wouldn’t it, especially if I have a flare up? I really don’t want to be on suppression meds for the rest of my life. God, this is hard. I could cope if this damn virus acted like chicken pox but it doesn’t. That’s what makes it hard. A flare up is a horrible reminder and taking daily meds is also a horrible reminder. I can’t win can I? Why do people minimise this?! 😔 (Sorry for long rant, haven’t eaten all month as still feeling suicidal) x

OP posts:
Troubler · 25/11/2025 18:31

Valtrex is much better. I’ve been with dp 7 years now and he’s never got it from me despite unprotected sex. I do take it all the time though but I had terrible outbreaks that were almost constant (and I do have HSV2)

Troubler · 25/11/2025 18:32

i also found every doctor was totally unphased - as far as they are concerned it’s not going to kill you so just get on with it!

Troubler · 25/11/2025 18:33

Btw I did go and get some counselling and I found it really helpful so if you can get some, I would recommend it

I’m also terrified I’ve given it to my kids because for about 6 months they told me it was shingles

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