Guest says I starved her <shock>

[stringsoup]

Had a relative to stay for a few days, she just wanted to eat all time which we did not expect. I had cooked and baked which she ate (way more than us) then she said she wanted to get up in the night as she was so hungry!

I was wondering about undiagnosed (or not well managed) diabetes, which can make a person feel very hungry despite having eaten recently.

Older people often underestimate what younger people need. My ds is thin as a rake and when we visit my parents are always stunned that he'll eat a bacon sandwich for breakfast plus porridge, a scone/flapjack mid morning, a big lunch, a big roast dinner with apple crumble. He grows a lot!

I'm in a tourist area lots of big hotels on the seafront that do turkey and tinsel stays. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, then they hit the bar. They eat voraciously.

The ambulances hearses go round the back to take away the ones that don't survive the gluttony. It's all quite mad how much they overeat and drink.

As I said cousin is in 70's.
Judging by all these replies, I conclude, it's a hard thing to get right....
I bother because i think it's the right thing to do but as they say " no good deed goes unpunished " <shrug>

Your cousin’s rude and if you can resist leaving a multipack of crisps and tin of biscuits on her bed with a note saying HELP YOURSELF 🙂 then you are a better person than I am.

What the hell ha ha ha iv been a guest in peoples houses and I woundnt expect them too feed me . Thay was lovely That you did . This person could have gone out and got their own food . I would of been annoyed at the starved comment

Hmm. Did they hold back on what they were eating portion-wise or refuse foods because they didn’t like them, so felt hungry despite you providing lots of food?
Reminds me of my niece (late teen) when she stays with us - we make loads of food as I come from a huge family, and serve everything up in bowls in the middle of the table so people can help themselves. Niece won’t try new things / won’t serve herself much so appears to eat like sparrow…. Then found out her dad had taken her to the shops after dinner to stock up on snacks and energy drinks, etc which she would sit up in her room eating… Didn’t feel great about it, but I made a huge effort to make food that everyone liked.
Point of the story - you can’t win with some people!

Easily 2000 calories in that list

Porridge with milk and eg honey, maybe something else from that list - 350 (conservative)
Scone with jam (because who would have a dry scone) - 260
Soup with bread cheese and salami - maybe 80 for the soup and 400 for the bread cheese and salami
Two biscuits - 150
Spag Bol - 750
”sweet treat” eg a small pot of yoghurt, choc mousse, etc - anywhere from 100-300 calories
Toast - 100-200 calories if butter etc.

Around 2200 with conservative estimates. That’s not counting coffees, any drinks other than water etc.

To understand where she’s coming from you’d need to know what she normally has available that she’s missing. All seems totally fine to me and I always end up over catering.

It is a very unpleasant feeling being hungry at someone else’s house.

last time I visited my mum, she said “it’s sunny so we’ll have a salad for lunch”.

the salad turns out to be one chopped up lettuce. Between the two of us.

fortunately she was going out that afternoon and I was able to Uber eats in some coffee and fruit toast. (I’m physically disabled so going shopping is tricky).

I well remember pils though. They were famous throughout their family.

they always provided quite a lot of food, but had dinner very early so you were often hungry again by late evening, and used to say “please help yourself as well if you are hungry”.
then someone actually did, and fuck me the row went on for about two hours. We were all accused of being rude and ungrateful and nasty and not appreciating the work they’d put in.

after that everyone used to sneak in food to eat in the bedrooms as snacks.

i still remember the baguette (one baguette) and two bananas that were meant to be lunch for four adults and two children. They jokingly asked when we got back to theirs if anyone was still hungry and both my kids immediately said yes please, we’re starving.

Unless portions were miniscule, your cousin sounds greedy.

Neighbours were called to his sister's house. She was stuck on the floor. Her new knees had given out. She'd put on four stone after the operations. The ambulance crew managed to get her on a stretcher and to hospital. She was discharged to a residential home. Is absolutely horrified by the tiny portions. Will not accept that she's just too fat and has to lose weight.

Good news is it gave her brother a proper scare and he's on a strict diet by choice.

Why? I've cooked you three meals, plus morning snack and afternoon tea. How much food would be enough for you @Moretomatos ?

Agreed the absolute greed. It's not hunger is it.

That's plenty. I don't know what she expected.

Blimey! I’m fat and greedy, but that would be more than enough for me - unless your portions are teeny tiny. What does she eat at home?

Look we literally have no idea unless OP responds to the questions about portion sizes. The food sounds very lovely but, again as a PP said, if it's toddler portions then it's not enough. It's probably not useful to call the cousin greedy or lament the obesity crisis when we have no way of knowing who's BU (if anyone)

I don't see why she'd want or need to get up at night due to hunger. If you'd invited her to help herself and there was a supply of things she could have eaten to supplement, did she not realise during the day or at each meal between meals or at bedtime that she'd not had enough and should eat more then? (Unless it's a child, teen, or other person used to having food prepared for her based on her appetite.)

Your cousin was rude, but your sister was ruder to repeat it.

Again, so mumsnet!
Obviously NOT toddler portions, I don't know why we always have to go in this direction! What do you want me to do - weigh out every item of every meal?

But her weight????? Is she clearly used ro over eating ?

I don't really know what you mean by so Mumsnet 🤣 it's just that your idea of a full bowl of soup might not be the same as your cousin's idea? (Same as how I make a batch that I think is 8 bowls of soup and my husband seems to turn it into 3!) I'm clearly not expecting you to weigh anything 🤣 I'm just making the point that it's really impossible to tell whether it would be enough for an average person just on the basis of what the food is - you would also have to know how much of it there was.

Do you trust your sister? Close to her?

I doubt there was enough physical activity to require even half these calories, but maybe your cousin was expecting a full roast at every meal, and would not accept anything else as "a meal".

Some people are weird.