How do I tell these kids to back off me? I don't have kids!

[SettingSunShines]

There are two girls aged 8-ish that live down the road from me. I see them fairly regularly on my dog walks and when I’m going to and from the gym. They’d come and stroke the dog, we'd have a little chat, and they’d on their way.

A few weeks ago, they tagged along on a dog walk with me. I wasn’t very happy about it but they just sort of followed. Now they're kind of escalating (not really the right word) and its weird.

They’ve just dropped off at my house a ‘present’ for me and the dog (a teddy, a keyring, a woven bracelet) with a letter from each of them. They dropped it off with DH who was bemused, caught off-guard and so took it. It was a mistake – he should’ve said “That’s really kind but its not appropriate” but he absolutely wasn’t expecting to be accosted by these random children.

How do I get them to back the fuck off and leave me alone?

Next time I see them, my plan was to say something like “The present was very kind of you, but its not appropriate to give presents to adults. I’m not going to write back to your letters because you should try and find pen-pals of your own age”.

Is that alright? More generally, how the fuck do I get these kids to back off?
I don’t have children. I’m pretty good at talking to them in a very general way – children do seem to really like me for some reason – but obviously no idea how to handle these kinds of situations.

Oh that’s tricky, I’d probably say something vague like you can’t talk as you have a phone call to join every day on your walk until they get the message, but spares their feelings.

Can you just say you prefer walking the dog on your own ? No offence but the parents should be aware , you could be anyone.

Oooh this is actually a tough one

Your post sounds mean, op! 😄😄 but I get that you didnt plan for this and just want to walk in peace

Why not just let it carry on? What's the harm, maybe you could impart some positive wisdom into their life??

😄 no judgement if its not your thing though, i am a bit of a softie when it comes to kids xx

Just be honest and kind
eg thank you for the company, I can see you are kind children. However, I actually love walking alone and need this time for myself. I am happy for you to pat my dog but I don’t want to walk with you.
there’s nothing wrong with this if said kindly.

In the old days one could ring a small bell and call out "unclean", and people would keep away from you, but I fear that with the education system being a bit light on historical procedures these days, this probably won't have the desired effect.

Agree with this. I can see why it’s tedious but they are kids at the end of the day and they seem to have taken a shine to you. Just be factual but try to be warm and kind with it.

Do you know their parents or see them? You may have to have a word with them about their kids hanging around with strangers and giving them gifts. Otherwise you just may have to say to them kindly that they shouldn't be talking to strange adults.

I had something similar with a family of kids who loved dogs, and mine was a particularly cute rare breed so she was like catnip to them.

I basically just nicely told them they could come and say hello to the dog if they had mum or dad with them, but otherwise it wasn’t appropriate.

I also spoke to their parents about it so they knew I wasn’t a weirdo and they had a word with the kids about it. That solved it and they’d only come over to say hi when the parents were with them after that.

Be kind and pleasant with the kids next time you see them, but tell them you prefer to walk alone.

I don't know their parents.

I'm not too bothered about them walking with me - there are ways to avoid this and its only happened once. Its more that they just randomly rocked up at my front door to deliver 'presents' that's weird and I want to put a stop to.

I would just put headphones on and totally ignore them tbh.

If they they and stroke the dog just say "No thank you" and carry on.

My dog walks are the only peaceful bit of my day and I absolutely hate it when they are interrupted so you have my sympathy.

What are their parents doing when they are inviting themselves on your walk?

They’re 8 and going off for a walk with a strange adult? Are their parents a bit oblivious?

Have they been for a walk with you since the one time a few weeks ago? What did their letters say?

Appropriate username then 😂

My dog is also cute and loves kids. There are a couple of other gaggles of kids that she regularly meets but they're always with their parents, and its more of a stroke and go situation. I'm absolutely fine with that.

I have no idea about their parents. I don't know who they are.

I haven't seen them since they followed me on my walk a few weeks back. That was the only time they've 'been for a walk with me'.

Letters were only a couple of lines - How are you? Are you enjoying the gym? How's the dog? Please write back.

This may solve itself over winter tbh. Less likely to be keen to join you on a walk, or be out and about to see you.

I'd kind of hoped this before, to be honest, that their enthusiasm would wane. But it hasn't. You're right, winter might see to it. Hopefully.

I think you don't know kids very well. They do tend to give and make presents. Just say thank you.

You're right - I don't know kids at all.

This is reassuring though 😅

The turning up at the door is weird but if it's only happened once I would just leave it. If you do see them again say ' thank you for the presents but you shouldn't be giving presents or turning up to the door of strangers'.

I wouldn't continue with this to protect yourself.Noone who knows them knows you.They could accuse you of anything and you'd have no proof it didn't happen. I know this sounds paranoid and joyless but I work in a school and its not unheard of for children to make things up about adults.

I'd be worried about them approaching the wrong sort of person. I probably listen to way too much true crime but my first thought was "good god what if you'd been a Myra Hindley".

I'd be tempted to find out where they live just to let their parents know they may need to have a word about stranger danger.

(I wouldn't be too upset about the presents though, that's just being 8, they like you and probably think you're cool and this is how they show it. It wouldn't occur to a child that it's odd to do that.)

If they try to walk with you you could say no, you can only go on walks with your parents or people your parents know.

You need to talk to them about their parents or guardians. They can't do x without their parents, they shouldnt be writing to strangers etc

I wouldn't say anything to them , I would speak to the parents.
I had a similar thing and it did fizzle out because they just grew up .
Are they on half term ?

Are these children starved of attention from their own parents?

I don't know their parents.

When they followed me on a walk, I did say to them it wasn't appropriate because I'm a stranger, their parents don't know where they were, who they were with etc. They insisted I'm not a stranger and were just happening to go that way anyway <eye roll>

I agree I also need to protect myself. Ridiculous.