My sister joked about my getting Botox in front of a room full of people

[Hairy396]

I told my sister I got Botox for the first time a month or so ago. Asked her not to tell anyone (my parents are old school and would be affronted). It was my surprise brothers 40th party recently and my sister joked in front of everyone that if it was my birthday you wouldn’t know I was surprised as my fave doesn’t move. Queue everyone looking at me and my mom asking me later on if it’s true. My sister says it was a joke and I’m overreacting but it really embarrassed me and also broke my trust

It's not even a funny joke. It's been around as long as botox has 🙄
I haven't had botox in over a year as it tends to make me look like shit - I literally can't smile properly with it😂 BUT it's completely up to you whether you tell anyone.. and at least you'll know she's not the keeper of your secrets now.

Is she jealous of you somehow?

But it is obvious - otherwise why have it? If you don't overdo it then you won't get that frozen look, but there are very, very few 40 or 50 somethings for example who don't have some lines. If you know the person well and you see them regularly, then it's even more noticeable. The reduction in or lack of lines are what you're paying for.

Still doesn't absolve the sister of blame though - she shouldn't have said what she did.

My sister my SIL and one of my best friends get Botox and I rip the piss out of all of them. But it’s their body and their choice and if that makes them happy then that’s all that matters! If she wanted it kept between the two of you thought that’s different and you’ve broken her trust.

NOT ok for her to do that. I would be furious. If I didn't get a proper apology I would reduce contact. I absolutely mean that. Actions have comsequences.

Yeah she did it to take the piss out of you so it wasn’t a nice move.
a lot of people will say it’s a joke and you’re overreacting to put the blame back on you (for being too sensitive) so they don’t have to look at their own behaviour to closely. If she really did have good intentions, I feel like she would be more like- oh I only meant to kid you, I wouldn’t want to hurt your feelings

Shit form of your sister, and well done Botox (if that’s the subtlety you’re after) is definitely possible. But that’s irrelevant, you asked her not to mention it (so, it was a secret), and she blew it.

i think it was a bit of a bitch move.

I’d be annoyed too. You don’t mind telling certain people but there are others you don’t want to know. Thanks totally understandable, I get it. Your sister shouldn’t have said anything.

Sister out of order... don't tell her anything anymore keep your life to yourself it's the best way .

You've discovered your sister is never to be trusted. Thank goodness it was only botox. My sister did something similar but with much more serious repercussions. I've kept my mouth shut ever around her ever since (22 years ago).

I was out for dinner with my friend and noticed that she looked really lovely and radiant. She told she had had botox that day and I really had no idea. It was so well done.

Anyway, that is NOT the point. It doesn't matter if the whole room knew she had Botox; when you ask someone not to repeat it, you expect them not to repeat it. It isn't for them to decide it's OK to say because other people can tell. That's your decision.

I don't get what's wrong with a lot of those responding here - if you had told her that you had stage 4 cancer and she behaved the same would they all respond the same?

A confidence is a confidence - your sister us a passive aggressive little cnut!

Also, if it’s as obvious as everyone on here seems to think it is, why did she feel the need to point it out?
She just did it to belittle you.

If you don’t want people to know you don’t tell a single soul. That’s the only way to keep a secret.

obviously your sister was being a cow.

I hear you. I told BiL that I was leaving my well paid job with a prestigious firm to go freelance and asked him not to mention it to his parents, my PiLs, because I knew they would be worried. This was at a jolly family event - everyone was there. He literally walked across the room and told FiL about 5 minutes later. I’ve never trusted him since and every opportunity I get to mention it as an example of him being untrustworthy, I do. It was 20 years ago.

You're sister broke your trust, which isn't great. I think how bad it is, depends on why she did it - do you think she just forgot? Or that she was trying to "out" you for some reason?

Not necessarily; my mum had no clue I’d had it done while ranting on merrily about how plastic and fake it looked 🤣

What has being upset about a broken confidence have to do with ‘owning your own decision?’ And why does owning your own decisions whatever they may be, require they all be public knowledge?

If I had sex last night in an attempt to conceive should I send out an all company email first thing, or is it ok to wait until lunchtime to let my colleagues know?

While it’s not the point I think that Botox that is noticeable is noticeable to some, and is often a choice to have it done that way, and Botox that isn’t noticeable, because of how it’s been administered (less, different areas) is not noticeable. It’s personal choice. People that think they can always spot it, don’t understand it.

So many answers here can’t separate judgment about the OP having had Botox from the breach of trust by her sister. I understand you being upset OP. You’re not obliged to share anything with anyone. And it isn’t funny to make public jokes at another’s expense about something they’d asked to keep private.

I think I would have said ‘ thank you for announcing that to everyone, I am so happy with the results and it makes me feel fabulous. Why don’t you try it?’

It’s fascinating, I’m not sure if it’s just a judging others issue or a lack of intelligence and/or a combination of both?

People saying its obvious, no it isn't always. I recently found out my sister has been having it done and I had no clue.

It wasn’t great of her, but were you hoping that (a) no one would notice, in which case what’s the point, or (b) you could pretend you just naturally looked younger/smoother/less expressive?

Oh cry me a river! Stop taking yourself so seriously or those wrinkles will come back in no time!

Genuinely don't understand why botox should be taboo? It's on par with getting braces or veneers. If you're spending tons of money on very obvious cosmetic enhancements then at least own up and be proud of it.

FWIW fillers and botox are always incredibly noticeable, even if the person thinks they're doing it secretly. It's more refreshing to have someone openly admit and talk about investing in anti-aging than desperately trying to hide it and hope people compliment them on their "natural" beauty. Very pick me behaviour