What are you up to today if you have chronic illness? Thread 3

[MewithME]

Link to last thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5406424-what-are-you-up-to-today-if-you-have-chronic-illness-part-2

Can't believe we filled another one.

@Stressybetty that sounds very good. I have a poinsettia which keeps dropping leaves so hoping to keep it alive until Christmas!

Otherwise I don't think we'll bother this year, no visitors for a change. Peaceful apart from taking presents over to DD1 and family, then a feet-up afternoon at home. DD2 and family over on 27th.

I don't think I believe in dream jobs. At least not for those of us who have no other form of financial support with a chronic illness in their fifties.

I definitely think stress is a major factor in my illness. Not just work stress but trauma after marital abuse and courts and raising an SEN child alone with zero family support.

I can't rest when I need to. I do my best to look after myself but sometimes, like yesterday, I just have to kind of dissociate and get on with it.

My job isn't the issue per se but some of the people around me do not help. A lot of my stress is kind of a toxic workplace issue with extra workload issues on top.

But part time (30 hour) jobs earning over 40k are near impossible to get. Add on needing reasonable adjustments and a good pension and flexi working...it's like unicorn poo.

I don't know. I will calm down. Crunch some numbers and think realistically. Only 51. I can't retire. I have no partner. It's really hard.

Anyway, sorry for the long ramble out loud. Check in later. I'm doing a bit better than yesterday, mentally at least.

@MewithME ramble away! You can't/shouldn't keep a stiff upper lip all the time. Life is extra tough for you and I hope you find some support in these threads. It sounds as if you've fought like hell to make a safe life for yourself and that is no small victory. Xx

Would it be completely impossible to take a bit of time off sick just to give you a breather @MewithME?
I understand it’s hard to do but it might just help you keep on keeping on in the long term.
I remember a time pre illness when I was working and struggling hugely ( DH had had a serious accident 6 months prior) and it was stressful solely caring for him whilst working full time in a fairly demanding job and gradually realising that the effects of the accident were going to be lifelong and he may never fully get back to his old self.
A colleague actually suggested this to me as I just reached rock bottom. I never ever took time off in my entire working life but went to the dr and got signed off for 3 weeks which I tagged onto a planned weeks holiday. That month off saved my sanity as it just allowed me to get off the hamster wheel and just breathe.

Ignore me if it’s not an option but worth a thought. I’m glad you can offload on here at least and hopefully benefit from our support. Glad today is a tad easier emotionally at least. x

We have made it to the Lakes through the wind and the rain and are cozy in our accommodation. Lots of stops on the way for refreshments and even found an art gallery to mooch around and have a delicious fruit scone and tea ☕

It's pitch black now so it's an early night as I'm shattered and so is DH from the driving.

Planning a potter around Ambleside tomorrow and then we'll see where the day takes us, although the weather doesn't look great 🌧️

Have a restful evening all 💕

Was doing so well pacing and actually starting to feel a bit better, then today DH noticed bits of bread wrapping and crumbs on the kitchen counter. Some bastard rodent has got into the kitchen somehow and had a good gnaw on all the bread.
I’ve now massively overdone it scrubbing the kitchen and putting all food into rodent proof containers. DH went out with the silicone sealant to secure any gaps in the perimeter, but I’m physically and mentally wrung out from it all now.
I hope that’s the last we see of it, but my anxiety keeps reminding me that there’s never just one rodent and now I’m jumping at sounds that only might be real.

That’s sounds lovely @Swanhilde enjoy a cozy evening and hopefully a little explore tomorrow. I love the lakes though haven’t been since moving down south decades ago!

@InMySpareTime I feel for you as anything rodent related isn’t nice. And it’s always the way that these unexpected things crop up that need dealing with and then we end up exhausted. I hope that’s the last you see.

@InMySpareTime oh no! That would really freak me out! Wire wool in the gaps discourages them, and apparently they hate the smell of peppermint oil. I think you can get sprays of peppermint oil too.

We get mice in our storage unit and get bulk packs of Little Nipper mouse traps and bait them with bits of Mars Bar. At least it gives you an idea if they are active. Hope it was a one off.

Morning all, my ds has had a cold all week and of course now I've caught it. Feel absolutely rotten. Have to take my car to the bloody garage at 8am for an oil filter change. I'm going in my joggers and pyjama top covered by coat. Do we swear here? Because if so today can get fucked!

I hope everyone is okay today and glad that it's a Friday x

@Realisation14 we can definitely swear here, and I agree today can definitely get fucked. Got up at 5am because I was never going to get back to sleep with DH snoring next to me. Boiled the kettle and saw a rat run across the floor. Pest control booked for Tuesday but that’s ruined my day totally.

Oh my god @InMySpareTime that is horrible. I really feel for you.

@Realisation14 I hate dropping off/collecting cars. It's always somehow during rush hour!

Hope you feel better soon.

Up early as DH off to help a friend renovate a car ( long project!) He will be bending/crouching/lifting/standing in a cold workshop all day, then tomorrow he will hardly be able to walk. "I told you so" will be unspoken!

On the other hand I am wrapped up warm on the sofa, pot of tea to hand. I have written a small number of Christmas cards and steamed my eyeballs for ten minutes with my fancy new mask. It is supposed to help with puffy lids and blocked meibomium glands so we'll see.

I've had updates and photos of little granddaughter's first week at nursery. It sounds as if she is enjoying it. She loves the singing. Yesterday she had a few tears when Mummy was dropping her off then she noticed some other babies having breakfast and she hurtled over to join them. She is such a tiny girl, only 9th centile for height, she needs all the food she can get!

Morning all, sorry for those who had a crappy start to the day.
Im feeling okay today but trying not to overdo it as really want to meet my friend tomorrow for brunch. I had to cancel a few weeks ago as no way could leave the house. I know I’ll get payback but hopefully won’t be too bad now I’m a little more stable.
Xmas cards ready here but I’ve managed to mislay the stamps my DH bought so do need to search for them today! Gotta love brain fog!

DH found a website last night called 'Miles without Styles' where you can find accessible walks. So this morning we did a flat 2k walk around Grasmere village, taking in Sarah Nelson's famous gingerbread shop. We then drove to Ambleside for a mooch and a well deserved coffee ☕

Back to the cottage by lunchtime so I had a nap and DH took himself off for another walk.

I am now eating famous gingerbread with a mug of ginger chai tea. It's delicious but full of sugar! The smell of the shop and all around it was mouthwatering 🤤

Plan for this evening is takeaway fish and chips and we'll see what the gingerbread does to my sleep. So far my legs are sore but nothing too bad. I'll take some ibuprofen before bed.

Photo of the sun trying to come out over Windermere earlier 💕

That's a lovely description @Swanhilde ! So glad you are having a nice time.

Sadly the picture is too much for the dodgy holiday WiFi 😢

Loving hearing about the Lake District, sounds much nicer than here (grim kind of cold rain, nearly like sleet)

Went to the fatigue course this morning, was quite good, about goals and managing setbacks. My goals for the next week are to try a walk or yoga twice in the week. Will see how that goes.

They made a point of saying, please don't not come next week if you haven't done it! as they understand how it can be tricky.

Weather might make it nicer to have a walk. Came back through the park and it was nice to hear some birds singing even though the rain had started and it was cold.

Hoping for a good weekend for everyone. I will have MIL here tomorrow, possibly in a sulk as I have not been contacting her this week. It has been nice to have a break to be honest.

@Orangesandlemons77 The fatigue course sounds very thoughtful. I think managing setbacks is often worse than the actual setback - I always feel guilty if I've pushed myself too hard.

Good luck with the MIL, mine was a very daft woman but some of it is very funny in hindsight!

Aw what a shitty start to the day. My day continued to get worse as it went on. I declared the day over at 4.15pm.

DH redeemed himself when he got back from work, he saw I didn’t want to go in the kitchen (I only ate a packet of crisps all day) and ordered a takeaway.

Good evening. I’m sorry for shitty days. I’ve just got what I hope is my last sick note, signed off until 12th January, so I can relax about Christmas and Christmas plans. I’ll then do a phased return and then use annual leave to stop to four days and then drop my hours to four days. I’ll have an incremental pay increase in July so I won’t be down for long before a chunk is made back up.

I made it for a walk round Asda and Marks and Sparks with my crutches. And then for my first hair cut in 18 months, I don’t love it.

im not in a crazy amount of pain, but I got out and I drove 2 miles into my town and back, so that’s good.

the exhaustion and pain may or may not be worth it.

I'm so, so tired and only wish for a day without pain.
But the cats are looking after me.

Love to all in pain today, hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Hello all. Another full on day but at least at home and only had one online meeting with shitty people. DS is with his dad until Sunday. I need to get Xmas stuff done tomorrow.

I'm not doing cards apart from a very select few. I'm totally exhausted.

I'm usually cheery about Xmas but just feel sad this year..I haven't even booked my leave. Haven't had a moment to even think about it.

I won't have an issue taking time off. Should get two weeks. I want to see my mum but not sure I can do the journey..I don't see her unless I do it though. I feel so alone with it all sometimes.

I've been sensible tonight and just gone to bed. Watching stranger things rerun before final series.

@Orangesandlemons77 I'm a bit cautious about your course. I'm not sure about setting goals when you have MEcfs. That sounds like graded exercise therapy which can be dangerous. But if you are happy and finding it useful that's good. Just be careful not to push yourself too much.