What are you up to today if you have chronic illness? Thread 3

[MewithME]

Link to last thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5406424-what-are-you-up-to-today-if-you-have-chronic-illness-part-2

Can't believe we filled another one.

Me too. Woke up with heart pounding. Full of adrenaline at the moment but will crash later.

Last minute house tidying, viewers at 10. It's a second viewing so this could be IT. Then the real stress will start. We've been here about three times before, first lot pulled out just before exchange so we had a few months thinking it was OK before we had to start again. Got an immediate offer then buyers ghosted us for weeks. People are insane.

This a thousand times over. If young ladies embroidered samplers today they should put name, date and "Remember Not to Marry a Twat" in very bold thread.

DD1 married two twats in a row, which takes some doing.

This is an extract from a post on a support group I belong to for people with my condition. It absolutely struck a nerve and made me think of all of you here. I know we feel weak and useless but we get up every morning and fight battles that many people can't possibly imagine.

If the person who wrote this happens to see this post, THANK YOU. I replied to you on FB (obviously under my real name) so I hope you know how much this post meant to me.

-----

I can recognise that I have been going through ‘the grieving process’ in respect of having lost my ‘old self’ to trying to come to terms with what my ‘new self’ will be as things progress – I have been through the stages so far that are ‘it’s not real, it’s not happening to me’, frustration, anger, crying at the drop of a hat, numbness, depression, worthlessness, loss of interest, exhaustion, difficulty functioning, gradual acceptance of loss to name a few, and I have moved from one emotional response to another and back again – at the moment I am a the stage which I can only describe as ‘introverted’ or ‘social withdrawal’ and so I apologise if I am not so visible on here as much as I am sometimes – I think I am merely taking stock of everything but I am thinking of you all and I hope this makes sense cos a lot of the time it is hard to concentrate on things – but if I can help just one more person understand that what they are going through is a normal process then I shall be happy xxxxx

THE GRIEVING PROCESS

DENIAL –
Shock
Disbelief
Numbness
Bluntness
Outbursts of distress

YEARNING
Pangs of grief
Anxious pining
Anger
Guilt
Restlessness
Pre-occupation with loss
Crying
Loss of interest in appearance
Fear

DESPAIR/DISORGANISATION
Social withdrawal
Sadness
Depression
Apathy
Exhaustion
Difficulty functioning

ACCEPTANCE/ADJUSTMENT
Gradual acceptance of loss
Letting go hope that ‘the old self’ can be recovered
Withdrawing emotionally
Accepting ‘new self’
Finding a new identity
Resuming normal/active social life
Making plans for the future (although at times unknown)
Adopting new roles
Acquiring new skills

NB ……. These emotional stages on the journey may occur in any order and more than once.

Also @FuzzyPuffling sending you and your family much love. My DH also lost a friend very suddenly last year and I hesitate to talk publicly about grief around my health because.... well. Losing a person you love is unimaginably sad.

@VikingNorthUtsire wonderful post, will save that to read slowly. Thank you.

Our viewing went positively. Now back home, so glad it's over. I'll revel in a clean tidy house until we mess it up again!

Downstairs loo has just broken, so I'm having to go upstairs for a wee during the day. Outside loo is like a freezer full of spiders. Considering a chamber pot!

Oh no! Commode might be an idea 🤣

I contacted bupa and got my physio covered for my recovery. Eight sessions covered. I haven’t had the brain space for it. or brain ability, I’m not able to process well still after the anaesthetic, it’s been ten days! Getting better though.

@FurForksSake that's brilliant getting some private physio, it's always such a long wait with the NHS.

Two stars 🤣 fantastic haha!

So sorry you've got a lot of pain today, I hope you can manage to get through your shift.

@TeaAndStrumpets glad the viewing went well but less good news re the downstairs loo! I find stairs add to my exhaustion and sometimes dream of a bungalow but then I wonder if they keep a certain level of fitness for me perhaps given I’m not moving much outside the house.

@FurForksSake well done on sorting the physio. Be gentle with yourself, it’s still early days after the op.

@TeaAndStrumpets DH has had bupa (very good corporate top level) for years and he’s used it a few times. Me and the kids have been on it a while but I’ve always refused to use it. With my hip I’ve done everything privately and it’s been amazing. I’m very grateful he has a good job and has access to it. I did try nhs physio for my hip and I got a leaflet and discharged, it was terrible.

@TodayIsatrickyone yes I 've been up and down twice already so now looking for a makeshift solution! When I planned our new house I asked for stairs for maintaining fitness but also a downstairs wetroom and bedroom for when neither of us can manage.

@FurForksSake I used BUPA when I had a hysterectomy. It was so luxurious! The corridors were carpeted and everywhere was so quiet.

I’ve done too much. Had a little cry. I’m managing to get about the house without crutches and I’ve now ended up in a big heap on the sofa. I’ll never change, always push too hard.

@TeaAndStrumpets you can buy a commode bucket and liners and put it into the loo until it’s fixed? Would they work? Amazon sell them I’m sure.

Thanks @FurForksSake DH is prepared to flush with buckets of water so I have said yes please! Just the 2 of us here. It's only the syphon bit in the cistern so that will be replaced as soon as it arrives from Amazon. DH has mended it a few times and it's a quick fix, just a pain when it happens.

So sorry you are feeling tearful. It could be a hangover from the anaesthetic as well as general tiredness. The guilt about overdoing things....I get that ALL the time. I feel worse because I feel I've made myself even more of a burden to DH.
Anyway you are technically convalescent so you are allowed a little weep. Just take it steady for a few days.

Back from work and in bed with a cuppa. Not too bad for a Tuesday. Slept much better last night as well, although the lovely effects of my massage seems to be wearing off and my legs are back to being tight and achy. No stairs were climbed today!

@TeaAndStrumpets we only have an upstairs loo, so I empathise. There have been times when I have been confined to my bedroom as I couldn't climb back up the stairs to get to the toilet.

Quiet evening again here. DH is cooking sausage and chips for tea and I have a Gardener's World to catch up on. Last one of the year sadly.

Have a restful evening everyone 💕

@Swanhilde that sounds like a soothing evening! We've recently started watching Bettany Hughes Treasures of the World which is fascinating. The recent one about Estonia was good, with the women having a special sauna then a bracing swim in the lake! I also liked the idea of gathering at the graveside for a picnic 40 days after a relative has died. It must break up the grief a lot to mark these rituals.

Ohh you have good taste @TeaAndStrumpets . Now we're just streaming, I forget about those lovely programmes. I should do more bbc!

I'm having a little sit. Jacket potatoes in oven for an easy tea and soup simmering for lunch tomorrow.

@MewithME available on channel 4 or e4. What I like about her is she refers to prehistoric groups as 'women and men' not 'men and women' which everybody else says ;-)

We've agreed to a one night emergency placement of a little 18 month old. We normally don't do emergency respite and we normally don't do really tiny people either but social worker seemed desperate and pulled on the heart strings and provided a travel cot so here's hoping I'm not awake ALL night 💤 wish us luck x

Aww good luck @Realisation14 I hope they are tired and settle.

Hoping for a peaceful day or so @Realisation14 . Poor little mite.

You're amazing @Realisation14 thank goodness for people like you. Hope little one sleeps and you do too. X

Hello lovely people.
DH is home and we're ok, just a bit quiet. I'm not up to the rough and tumble of the rest of MN, so may I sit in this space and recuperate?

Hope the little one settles for you @Realisation14 I think you’re amazing to help in the way you do.

A quiet day here but definitely managing to get a few things done this week and gradually ticked off my to do list which feels like a relief after weeks of enforced rest. it’s been a tough few weeks so I’m just appreciating feeling less dreadful.
Back to GP tomorrow for bloods and EGC so hoping I get a decent nights sleep and it doesn’t wipe me out too much.