How much would you expect to be spent on an engagement ring?

[DonkeyFacedCunt]

Cutrently talking about marriage with my partner of 5 years.
for context, he earns £53,000 a year. Plus he has a lodger in his house at an extra £600 pcm. (Which he can mainly do due to spending most of his time at my house).
he does have a mortgage and does pay child support plus all other usual outgoings.

He has previously said no to marriage (which is fine) but has recently changed his mind as he has realised we can leave each other our pensions more easily if we die if we are married. (So this is a practical rather than romantic thing really). we have both been married before and if we do get married it would only be a tiny wedding. We are both in our forties.

given all this, how much would you expect him to be looking at to pay for a ring? (FYI I have offered to pay half or give him something in return but he won’t hear of it).

just interested in people’s thoughts

TIA

It’s all different now with much cheaper lab diamonds. All the young ones seem to have whopper lab diamonds. The jewellers know what’s “real” and not though.

To get at my pension? Nothing, he could sod off. If you do marry him, get something you like- whatever the cost.

Whatever it cost for the ring you liked. Maybe £1,000? That seems reasonable.

Personally I don't really wear jewellery so I wouldn't want an engagement ring, I have concerns about the ethics of diamond mining and so on as well. It isn't a necessary purchase I think and like with most wedding costs the money would be better spend elsewhere. I don't know what should be spent, no more than a few £100 and £5000 is crazy for a useless ring.

I don’t think so @EnchantingDecoration but it’s an interesting thought.
to those asking why it’s his decision, because it’s him that’s buying it for me, then same reason of why I haven’t and won’t bring it up with him. Because I am aware that I am being entitled and unreasonable feeling like this. And ultimately, I will be happy with whatever he chooses to buy as I am not as ungrateful as I am obviously coming across here.
I just wanted people’s thoughts on what was deemed normal for someone on his income, and was well aware some people would put me in my place, and am fine with that too, as am aware that I need my head being given a wobble.

But just because we are mainly getting married for financial reasons, doesn’t make it any less of a marriage. It’s fine to choose not to do an engagement, but I would like one, which is fine too, and he is the one that has said about buying a ring. We do love each other very much, and have very similar values and thoughts on money usually, because if that I assumed he would be thinking long the same lines as me for this. Not ridiculous money, but maybe more like £1k.
i trust him to buy me a ring that i love, whatever the price.

I don't even wear my engagement ring anymore, I did get an upgraded wedding ring a few years ago in Welsh gold and I love it despite not being a big jewellery lover.

With his income I would expect around the 2-3K mark for both engagement and wedding ring.

Honestly I don’t know. My husband spent 10k (found out by accident) on mine and I still feel uncomfortable about it. I mean, what does he get? I did get him a gift but couldn’t get anywhere near that cost and as much as I’m sooo grateful as I love having a bling ring and that he chose it himself but sometimes I can’t shake a guilty feeling about how much it cost and I did nothing to deserve it (even tho I know he can affford it). Not sure what my point is but basically I think it just doesn’t need to be over the top cost wise, it’s about what it symbolises

I got married last week for the second time. I don’t know what my engagement ring cost, (stones are small, but ring would be OTT if they were large! but I know the two diamonds represent us, two sapphires to either side of the band are to honour our previous partners(both deceased) and the little aquamarines are for each of our combined children. The thought was and is everything.

Buy a nice second hand ring you like, I used to work part time in pawn shop and jewellers, Haggle hard, if ring is priced at £600, they have only paid max of £200 for it..Diamonds are totally worthless unless big...1.5 ct...2ct and vvsi , D grade etc...or coloured stones..yellow or pink are very valuable. Nobody can detect difference with lab grown now unless they have a laser machine, and they are real as made from tiny real chips in the machines.

Maybe 3 months’ gross salary? There’s a rule of thumb that’s along those lines anyway.

I am not engaged but I was thinking of suggesting I contribute to the engagement ring because it’s me who wants a nice ring and it’s unfair on DP to go bankrupt due to my taste in jewellery. 😅

That sounds like a beautifully thought out ring @IsThisOneFree

Absolutely this.

I never had an engagement ring. At the time (long ago!) dh thought ‘getting engaged’ was desperately uncool. We just set a date.

However he bought me a lovely ring right after the birth of dd2, which meant a great deal more to me.

I understand where you're coming from. £500 or £600 is more like what you'd spend on a weekend away, but a ring is something you plan to wear every day for the rest of your life. It seems a bit tight of him.

I would have thought £3-5k, particularly when you're happy to pay half.

Jesus Christ 😂

They were selling 1ct diamond solitaires set in silver for £200 the other day on The Jewellery Channel. TJC.

Item 8277022.

I don’t know if it’s gone back to regular pricing now that show is over but if they show it again you’d think it would be the same price.

Ive bought jewellery from them before and had it confirmed as genuine by my local jeweller.

It’s good value and you can pay it up. Id watch it live on tv or laptop for a while to see if you see anything you like. They had beautiful aquamarine boat rings on the other day even cheaper. I was tempted!! 🤣

You’re leaving it to him? Does he actually know what you’d like, given you’re the one who has to wear it? What if he gets you something you hate? This sounds very transactional. As you’re in a romantic partnership, I’d want the excitement of looking together. You don’t need to go to Ernest Jones or the ilk, I’d be keener to go to an old fashioned place for a beautiful second hand ring, possibly, but I’d be keen to choose my own ‘forever’ ring. I’d say £1K is a decent amount.

'3 months gross salary' is a myth, perpetuated by the jewellry companies to make people spend stupid amounts of money. It's not a 'rule of thumb' at all.

This.

Also maybe go with lab grown diamonds as they’re identical to mined diamonds but don’t cost as much.

I couldn't care less about this stuff but for me it would be more about the thought put into it. If he spent ages choosing a ring that cost less that would be more special than just going out and dropping 10k or something

Second marriage, my engagement ring, which I really wanted, cost £1500.

Probably up to £1000 maximum, no more considering the circumstances you gave. Our budget was £5k, spent £4k on a ring of my choice, DH earns around 5x your partner’s salary.

Im a jeweller and generally work to peoples budget, however big or small but it is something that potentially you will be wearing every day for a long time.
I think the 1 month salary etc is ridiculous and was made up by de Beers i think, however,
I think you might struggle to get something decent for 500, just because of the price of gold at present as a pp mentioned, it literally is just about the highest its ever been! For reference for me to to buy the raw material to make something, costs £100+/gram for 18ct.

Lab grown diamonds have made diamond jewellery more affordable but you still need to pay for gold or platinum as well.

I know vintage or antique jewellery is often recommended here and it can be a good option....however I deal with a shop selling antique jewellery, they only guarantee it for 3 months, some items I would say are too fragile for regular every day wear.

I remember the days of 'good old Woolies' when they had a card of rings hung up behind the counter to choose from, just past the "pick'n'mix".
I think they had a similar card for combs.

He’s being hugely stingy. On that salary and if he’s financially comfortable then he’s missing a zero!

It’s not the cost it’s what it means. When I got engaged my now husband was a student and on a summer placement. We bought mine in the sale and I love it. Cost approx £250.