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Original poster

How much would you expect to be spent on an engagement ring?

152 replies

DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 16:14

Cutrently talking about marriage with my partner of 5 years.
for context, he earns £53,000 a year. Plus he has a lodger in his house at an extra £600 pcm. (Which he can mainly do due to spending most of his time at my house).
he does have a mortgage and does pay child support plus all other usual outgoings.

He has previously said no to marriage (which is fine) but has recently changed his mind as he has realised we can leave each other our pensions more easily if we die if we are married. (So this is a practical rather than romantic thing really). we have both been married before and if we do get married it would only be a tiny wedding. We are both in our forties.

given all this, how much would you expect him to be looking at to pay for a ring? (FYI I have offered to pay half or give him something in return but he won’t hear of it).

just interested in people’s thoughts

TIA

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 02/11/2025 16:55

A ring is such a personal thing. I think one that you like, is comfortable to wear, and would want to wear every day. Cost wise it should be affordable without going into debt.

RosesAndHellebores · 02/11/2025 16:56

In your circs 0.

Mannananannan · 02/11/2025 16:56

After some deep discussion, DP and I went for a £3 ring from the Manx Museum gift shop. It’s very fetching.

Yellowsubmarine55 · 02/11/2025 16:59

If you like it, then it doesn't matter - it's a symbol of love and shouldn't be about money.

mamagogo1 · 02/11/2025 16:59

Go to an independent jeweller and you can get something made up for half the cost of the chains, better still look in places that have secondhand if size of stones matters to you.

I have a beautiful ring designed by a jeweller in the next town, 0.5 carat solitaire and half the price some people are suggesting here

Original poster
DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:01

Thank you all for your replies.
I didn’t have an engagement ring or proposal for my first wedding and so he knows that this means a lot to me, although it was his suggestion to go engagement ring shopping. More than happy with a vintage ring (in fact would prefer one). We were looking in shops (second hand ones) and the cheapest we saw were £800+ obviously they went up to ludicrous amounts of money.
he then said that he wasn’t thinking of spending that much he was looking at £500-600. Obviously this is still a lot of money. I don’t know why but this made me feel a bit deflated. I am not usually materialistic at all so I don’t know why it bothered me. I really don’t.
maybe we were looking in the wrong shops because as I said there really wasn’t anything for that amount.
I have found some on eBay and Etsy for that sort of amount (or less) but he doesn’t want to risk getting one online.
if anyone has any suggestions of where we can look I would be grateful because (and I am really not looking for a big rock or anything like that) I don’t know where to find one for that amount.
I have looked at jewellers like Ernest Jones and found ones I like but again he says he does not want to get it from somewhere like that.
I know how materialistic it sounds and I am really not. I have even suggested using my grandmother’s engagement ring that I already own and love but he says he wants to buy me one (which is very nice of him).
so maybe this is a thread to get an idea of if people think he is being ‘tight’, helping me work out why I am feeling deflated, and suggestions of where to look for something at that price range.

TIA

OP posts:
Joeninety · 02/11/2025 17:05

Our whole wedding only cost around £200-00.

fairlygoodmother · 02/11/2025 17:06

It sounds like he’s just being incredibly awkward. He wants to spend £500 but can’t find a ring at that price, won’t accept you paying half, won’t buy online, and doesn’t like the idea of using the one you already have.

Honestly I don’t think this is you.

Original poster
DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:06

As I said, @PoliteBee i have offered to go halves on mine, and also offered to use one I already have, and offered to buy him something in return. He doesn’t want a ring so have already told him I would buy him something the equivalent price that he wants as it doesn’t seem fair that he is spending on me and I am not on him.
it’s not about the money as such but I think I am finding it hard not to see it as a reflection on his feelings for me or how much he thinks I am ‘worth’ (and yes I know this is ridiculous and probably runs a lot deeper than this cost if a ring).

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 02/11/2025 17:07

DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:06

As I said, @PoliteBee i have offered to go halves on mine, and also offered to use one I already have, and offered to buy him something in return. He doesn’t want a ring so have already told him I would buy him something the equivalent price that he wants as it doesn’t seem fair that he is spending on me and I am not on him.
it’s not about the money as such but I think I am finding it hard not to see it as a reflection on his feelings for me or how much he thinks I am ‘worth’ (and yes I know this is ridiculous and probably runs a lot deeper than this cost if a ring).

So it is about the money….

Original poster
DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:07

I think ours will cost similar @Joeninety as I said we are having a very quiet wedding and I am not a materialistic person usually

OP posts:
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 02/11/2025 17:08

DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 16:14

Cutrently talking about marriage with my partner of 5 years.
for context, he earns £53,000 a year. Plus he has a lodger in his house at an extra £600 pcm. (Which he can mainly do due to spending most of his time at my house).
he does have a mortgage and does pay child support plus all other usual outgoings.

He has previously said no to marriage (which is fine) but has recently changed his mind as he has realised we can leave each other our pensions more easily if we die if we are married. (So this is a practical rather than romantic thing really). we have both been married before and if we do get married it would only be a tiny wedding. We are both in our forties.

given all this, how much would you expect him to be looking at to pay for a ring? (FYI I have offered to pay half or give him something in return but he won’t hear of it).

just interested in people’s thoughts

TIA

"Expect"? Really? Isn't that a bit materialistic and grabby?

Viviennemary · 02/11/2025 17:08

If you are already disagreeing about the price of an engagement ring I wouldn't hold out high hopes of a successful marriage,

Original poster
DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:09

Thank you @fairlygoodmother
i am going to leave him to it now ( as requested) and hi haven’t brought this up to him at all, because I realise how entitled spoilt and materialistic it sounds. So I won’t ever know how much it was or where he ends up getting it from. I just wanted to know others thoughts

OP posts:
JohnTheRevelator · 02/11/2025 17:10

Just waiting for someone to come on and say 50 grand. 😂

HairyToity · 02/11/2025 17:11

I think an engagement is just frittering money away. Do you have an auction house near you, that sells second hand rings? I'd just get something cheapish but still nice. Most people can't tell the difference between diamonds and cubic zirconia.

Zempy · 02/11/2025 17:11

I wouldn’t expect one in your situation and would rather spend money on other things

Original poster
DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:11

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 02/11/2025 17:08

"Expect"? Really? Isn't that a bit materialistic and grabby?

Show quote history

Ok. How much would you think that someone in those financial circumstances would pay for a ring in your experience
nit sure if that is better or not. As I said, I am just after people’s thoughts.

OP posts:
Abracadabrador · 02/11/2025 17:12

fairlygoodmother · 02/11/2025 17:06

It sounds like he’s just being incredibly awkward. He wants to spend £500 but can’t find a ring at that price, won’t accept you paying half, won’t buy online, and doesn’t like the idea of using the one you already have.

Honestly I don’t think this is you.

He sounds tedious. Do you really want to marry this man?

Original poster
DonkeyFacedCunt · 02/11/2025 17:13

Thank you @HairyToity an auction house it a good idea

OP posts:
SpottyAardvark · 02/11/2025 17:16

he was looking at £500-600. Obviously this is still a lot of money. I don’t know why but this made me feel a bit deflated. I am not usually materialistic at all so I don’t know why it bothered me. I really don’t.

You say you are not materialistic but your reaction to his comments suggests otherwise. Why does this matter to you? Who or what has influenced you to think like this? Are your close friends & female relatives shallow & materialistic? I would suggest that this is a good opportunity to take a long, hard look at yourself and your values.

NoMoreBrownSofas · 02/11/2025 17:16

He's being awkward and pretty unromantic.

It's verboten on MN but in the land of the normal people it's fine to want an engagement ring, it's fine to want a wedding, it's fine to want a birthday and it's fine to spend more than £2.50 and 10 quids worth of nectar points on a wedding

PerkyCyanPoet · 02/11/2025 17:16

Why won’t he let you pay half? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a nice engagement ring and £500 would be too low for that. I’m no expert but I would have thought just the gold on its own would be around £400-£500?

Def look at lab grown diamonds and maybe look at moissanite too.

WhiteCold · 02/11/2025 17:18

This sort of entitlement based upon a partner's salary never sits well with me.

Boomer55 · 02/11/2025 17:20

An engagement ring should be priceless to you, regardless of cash value.