How much would you expect to be spent on an engagement ring?

[DonkeyFacedCunt]

Cutrently talking about marriage with my partner of 5 years.
for context, he earns £53,000 a year. Plus he has a lodger in his house at an extra £600 pcm. (Which he can mainly do due to spending most of his time at my house).
he does have a mortgage and does pay child support plus all other usual outgoings.

He has previously said no to marriage (which is fine) but has recently changed his mind as he has realised we can leave each other our pensions more easily if we die if we are married. (So this is a practical rather than romantic thing really). we have both been married before and if we do get married it would only be a tiny wedding. We are both in our forties.

given all this, how much would you expect him to be looking at to pay for a ring? (FYI I have offered to pay half or give him something in return but he won’t hear of it).

just interested in people’s thoughts

TIA

Well, it matters to some people, 25 years ago it also mattered to myself.
So what?

Nothing. Get a nice wedding ring (who cares about the monetary value?)

Spend the money on something worthwhile.

I would say just have a look at rings in the price range you have in mind (I have no idea how much the average one is, but I imagine you can go from €50 to Cartier, there’s so much choice).

If a ring, of whatever size or shape is important to you op, tell him. Lots of people may well be happy with a £2 ring and a £4 wedding. It’s perfectly acceptable to not be one of them.

I think that either it’s irrelevant considering the circumstances or he gets a ring which is meaningful for you and him in some way. Doesn’t matter if that’s a Haribo ring or a 10k diamond ring.
Sounds like it’s irrelevant. It’s a wedding for logistical and financial reasons for you so skip it.
I got engaged in my forties, but it was very romantic and meaningful after being married to an abusive arse. My DH spent 5k on my ring and it was specially chosen for its style (popular in my home country).

This caused me to look up that my engagement ring bought 36 years ago would cost the equivalent of £1,200 today! It was £369 or £396 in 1989 which seemed quite extravagant enough. It was a second marriage for both of us but my first engagement ring. I still really love it. Vintage jewellery from local auctions can be great value and beautiful IF it fits

I used to work with someone who was getting engaged and she thought that the price her fiance was going to pay for her engagement ring was a direct indication of how much he loved her. She had quite a high opinion of herself, and wanted him to spend thousands, and assumed anything less than that would be an insult.

Please don't fall into that trap.

I don't know I would just choose something I like but i wouldn't spend thousands on a ring anyway as I'd then be too scared to wear it.

£5 - 10,000?
I have a lot of jewellery from bargain basement to Boodles, Cartier etc And I love it all, regardless of cost.

I’d be expecting a good few thousand, probably minimum £3k. You will get weird answers on here though as a lot of women on MN seem to have very low standards.

It’s not strange or grabby to expect your future husband to put time, effort and money into your engagement ring which is a significant piece of jewellery you plan to wear for life, especially when the man in question earns a good salary.

It comes down to a man demonstrating he’s prepared to forgo something he wants (money to spend on hobbies etc) to get you something you want (a ring) and IMO it’s a very bad sign if a man is unwilling to do this. If £500 is not a lot of money to him (which frankly it doesn’t sound like it is given the lodger) it think his budget is quite insulting. I’d be willing to bet he’s tight with you in other ways as well.

He sounds much more interested in pleasing himself than pleasing you, @DonkeyFacedCunt . I agree he sounds like he's making things awkward and is uncompromising. It doesn't bode well.

And you're not grabby. Is that what you do in response to him being selfish? Blame yourself?

Superb post

I'd expect my partner to be interested in my happiness and what would make me feel good.

Have to say that he doesn’t sound great OP. He should be cherishing you and making you feel loved. The fact that he’s suggested marriage for practical reasons says it all. I feel you can do better. And the cost of the ring is irrelevant. Does he make you feel special?

A lot of women on MN don't have low standards, they just don't feel the need to wear blood diamonds glittery trinkets.

I wouldn't have any expectations on how much he should pay. I think it's odd when people think a certain amount should be spent on a ring. I think she should just buy something he thinks you will like

Why bother with an engagement ring in these circs?

40 years ago my engagement ring cost £200. My husband to be could have afforded more but the ring was my personal choice. Th personal choice and significance of being an engagement ring was all that mattered. I didn’t opt for a big diamond.

£750 maximum.

Away from numbers I can recommend Ellibel or From Edinburgh with love for vintage ones. Some beautiful rings on there and lots of choices and some really unusual ones

The £800 ring sounds fine on his income. If hes thinking about how the marriage will benefit him financially you also need to think about the financial pros and cons for you including any children and assets?

Why the focus on cost? Genuine question

I think it's insane spending that amount on a ring whatever the salary.

Fml. Here's me hoping for one thats just under 6k. DF earns £120k. Might just buy it myself