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Original poster

Moving at 62 to Spain after death of husband

209 replies

Harbans · 26/10/2025 11:02

I would love to move abroad to Spain, have raised 5 children 3 grandchildren. Worked 2 jobs now it was time to enjoy life , my husband of 36 years has passed. Had to downsize my children have each had their inheritance over £45,000 each and I bought a small property, now 2 have moved back and we are constantly arguing as I work for a educational agency and earn enough to pay bills and shopping no contribution from them . I have enough after I sell my property worth £200,000 to move to Spain would am on my own and have no idea where to begin.

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 26/10/2025 11:04

YANBU (I would) but are you allowed to? Do you have EU citizenship?

wordywitch · 26/10/2025 11:05

Do you have a visa and do you speak the language (or have the capacity and willingness to put a lot of effort into it)?

Needspaceforlego · 26/10/2025 11:06

Firstly i dont think you can just decide to move to Spain now we are no longer part of the EU.
Do you meet their requirements to move?
Can you afford to buy in Spain?,

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YumYa · 26/10/2025 11:07

They'll get a shock. Might do them good. I hope you can do it.

LetGoLetThem1234 · 26/10/2025 11:07

If you are a UK Citizen (only), you cannot move to Spain without a visa etc. We've left the EU.

Burntout01 · 26/10/2025 11:08

OP my only advice is don’t sell up and move to escape’ your adult kids. Moving to another country can be amazing of course but will be a huge undertaking, and since we left the EU I don’t think its as easy as it was before.
Sounds like what you yearn for is the life you’ve planned- living in peace in your small property, hopefully having time and energy to enjoy life. Maybe its time to have a frank discussion with your adult children?

ComfortFoodCafe · 26/10/2025 11:10

What did they spend the 45k on? I think i would tell them theyve had their inheritance they are to old to live off you now.

StanfreyPock · 26/10/2025 11:10

Don't rush into buying, you can get very good discounts for longer lets on Airbnb etc. Try staying in some different cities & areas and then you are not committed if you don't like it, and you have the cushion of your house sale funds safely invested.

ScrewyouJonathon · 26/10/2025 11:12

Have you thought about what getting older and sick / frail might look like in Spain? What support network would you have? If you got sick who would look after / support you? I wouldn’t give up a house here to move there FT at your age.

Fifty50Fifty · 26/10/2025 11:12

Whether you can move countries isn't as easy as all that, but think about whether you want to move for a new life or to escape your current one. Why have they moved back in, what have they done with their inheritances and crucially, why the hell aren't they contributing at the very least? It's time to tell them to pay up, ship out, or both.

2dogsandabudgie · 26/10/2025 11:13

I think this sounds good in theory but you really need to look into this. Will you have a private pension as well as your state pension. What happens as you get older and you're more likely to have health problems. Would you be able to afford medical treatment. Would you feel lonely?

FajitaNightCap · 26/10/2025 11:13

Fifty50Fifty · 26/10/2025 11:12

Whether you can move countries isn't as easy as all that, but think about whether you want to move for a new life or to escape your current one. Why have they moved back in, what have they done with their inheritances and crucially, why the hell aren't they contributing at the very least? It's time to tell them to pay up, ship out, or both.

I think this is the most important point, quite aside from whether you are now legally able to settle in Spain as a UK citizen.

GCAcademic · 26/10/2025 11:15

If you don’t have EU citizenship you can only spend 90 days in 180 in the EU.

Hoppinggreen · 26/10/2025 11:15

Running away isn't the best option, especially without any real plan

Chewbecca · 26/10/2025 11:18

Why not test it out by renting an apartment for 3 months this winter?
Somewhere with lots of Brits might suit you better so close to Málaga, Alicante or Almeria airports.
Some of the people you meet will have overcome the 90 day rule too & be able to advise you on that, healthcare and other issues.

176509user · 26/10/2025 11:21

I wouldn’t sell up here. Can you get your kids to keep up bills for the house ( utilities, nominal rent, council tax etc) and you can go stay in Spain for your 90 days ?

QueenOfErrors · 26/10/2025 11:21

Do you still need the size of house you have. I was thinking whether moving somewhere smaller with no spare rooms for cuckoos in the nest might be an option. Then you might be able to spend some time in Spain to see how you like it. Can’t tell if your job is flexible and gives you the option to work anywhere, that could be a bonus whilst you explore your future.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/10/2025 11:24

What I would do lovely ( and I’m similar age) is sell up and free up your cash and rent somewhere cheapish ‘as a base’ that is too small to accommodate adult kids- then go and have 6 weeks in Spain , 3 times a year - you can get pretty cheap rentals if you avoid late June to mid September - you avoid all the ‘visa’ and buying issues and can genuinely get a feel for various places, city, resort etc . If it works for you then it may be that’s the way to do it . You can then up it to a month at a time 4 times a year !! Will probably cost you £9k to £12k a year for all the breaks and your money earning you interest .

Cynic17 · 26/10/2025 11:24

Why Spain? Getting a place of your own, away from your kids, and making a new start - that all sounds fantastic. But why not do it in the UK?

Sparkletastic · 26/10/2025 11:25

Do you have a Spanish passport? If not you won’t be able to permanently reside.

LoveSundays · 26/10/2025 11:27

It sounds good in theory. Just be careful though.

Will you still have a small place here (even a little flat?). Just in case you need to come back in the future as you get older for medical reasons?

A friend of mine has been in Spain around 15 years - fluent Spanish & has a Spanish husband. She said a while ago it's a bit of a crisis situation there now as all the older Brits that moved out there in their 50s/60s are now in their 80's and are needing hospital treatment/ care homes and none of them can speak Spanish. And some of them don't have any family members to help out.

I think you just need a plan for the future.

SunsetOverEasterIsland · 26/10/2025 11:28

There are so many things to consider. Starting with - Have you been to Spain before? What area of Spain do you want to live? Buy a house or apartment or rent? Assuming you have a UK passport and not an EU one, you won’t be able to work in Spain so will have to have enough savings to apply for and get your Non-Lucrative Visa (NLV), and then renewing it for the following 5 years before you can apply for residency, along with paying for health insurance. I suggest you join a Facebook group like NLV Support - UK to Spain or look at the Lifestyle Spain page or website to get an insight into what is involved and you’ll find lots of like-minded people able to answer all the questions you’ll have. I know people who have moved over but they have already had a holiday home there and then decided to move over. Good luck!

Crikeyalmighty · 26/10/2025 11:31

@Sparkletastic not true but way more complicated than it was and you need cash , plenty of it

Kellogs4 · 26/10/2025 11:32

ScrewyouJonathon · 26/10/2025 11:12

Have you thought about what getting older and sick / frail might look like in Spain? What support network would you have? If you got sick who would look after / support you? I wouldn’t give up a house here to move there FT at your age.

Agree. I worked in care in the south of Spain and the people I looked after regretted moving. They were "stuck" in Spain due to ill health or no funds. We are extremely lucky to have things like decent care homes (I know not all are great) but still. Where I worked it was just apartment blocks, no equipment and it was actually ran by a British lady!

I have no idea if it wasn't a good place where I worked. But anybody could have a stroke... what would you do in Spain?

I would relocate city not Spain.

AtomicPumpkin · 26/10/2025 11:36

Whatever you do in the long term, I would suggest working out what would be a realistic contribution to household expenses from your adult children and telling them "this is what you need to pay me, in advance, from the first of next month, unless you want to move out and try your luck in the private rented sector".