Moving at 62 to Spain after death of husband

[Harbans]

I would love to move abroad to Spain, have raised 5 children 3 grandchildren. Worked 2 jobs now it was time to enjoy life , my husband of 36 years has passed. Had to downsize my children have each had their inheritance over £45,000 each and I bought a small property, now 2 have moved back and we are constantly arguing as I work for a educational agency and earn enough to pay bills and shopping no contribution from them . I have enough after I sell my property worth £200,000 to move to Spain would am on my own and have no idea where to begin.

Had to downsize my children have each had their inheritance over £45,000 each and I bought a small property, now 2 have moved back and we are constantly arguing as I work for a educational agency and earn enough to pay bills and shopping no contribution from them . I have enough after I sell my property worth £200,000 to move to Spain would am on my own and have no idea where to begin.

I don't understand.

You have a small house now and your 2 adult children have moved into it?
Why?

Surely you can tell them to move out?

I think you're making a massive error of judgement.
It comes over as an impulsive thought rather than a proper plan.

How will you live in Spain?

Will you work? Do you have savings to last if you live to 90?
Do you have a pension?
Did you inherit your late H's company pension when he died?
Do you have friends there? How would you create a new life there at 62?

Contributions from the adult kids or they move out.

FFS OP just bloody kick them out! YOU are the parent, just do it. 🤨

I have nothing very useful to add @Harbans but just wanted to say I feel such sympathy for you. You have undoubtedly put others first all your life, have lost your husband and just want a peaceful existence. I totally get it. Honestly I would buy a lovely property in this country that only has room for you. Any extra cash released then as other posters have suggested spend it all on long holidays in Spain if that is the place you like most.

all the older Brits that moved out there in their 50s/60s are now in their 80's and are needing hospital treatment/ care homes and none of them can speak Spanish.

That is bizarre-how is it even possible to live in a country for decades without picking up at least the rudiments of the language, even for someone who is not actively studying it?

start with big girl knickers and kick the kids out. DO NOT give them any more money. Then draw breath, shed the stress and do your due diligence.

I live in Spain, have done for 6 years. Re Visa you have a couple of options
NLV - basically created for retired people. You can not work for at least a year, then you can apply for Residencia and a TIE . You will have to prove you have sufficient funds ...Approx €32,000 and private health insurance.
Nomad Visa - you work remotely for a foreign company, you will need to do this for a least 6 months prior to applying.
There are many FB groups for example
Citizen Advice in Spain
Expats in Spain

Have you got an area that you have in mind - rents and house prices are very high and the rental market is very short of good properties.

I hope this helps

Tell the adult offspring they need to pay their way or get out & stop sponging off you, assuming by "adult" you mean in their 20's/30's as teens may have an excuse. They all received a pay off plenty enough for a deposit on a house of their own. If they are working they can support themselves and if they aren't then they can be housed by the local authority if needed; I know benefits life isn't exactly luxurious neither is the housing they can offer, but that isn't really your problem any more and unless they have a disability they should be able to work to support themselves.

If you'd be OK with them staying if they pay their own way don't do any cooking, washing or cleaning for them & put a lock on the fridge & cupboards, anything they own chuck into their bedrooms. Take the internet router out of the house with you, or keep it in your own bedroom with a lock on the door. Then tell them they can have access to stuff if they pay their way. Do a list of what they are costing you in food, water, electricity, the extra council tax as no longer single occupancy etc and give that to them as a minimum basis for them to pay you.

Personally I wouldn't have given them any inheritance early as you don't know when you might need it yourself, and they don't sound the type to help you out if you need it by their current behaviour. Even if I was unemployed and on the jobseekers element of UC, I would be giving a chunk of that to a relative if they were housing me.

I am very sorry for your loss💐

What specifically attracts you to Spain ? I do agree a bit with other posters who suggested looking at moving inside the uK if you wish a change as you will have more security and therefore peace of mind (and more spare cash to holiday in Spain if you wish!). So was it weather, lifestyle, beaches, other ? Or just a change of scenery ?
This forum could be a good place to get inside the uK recommendations of places to move to that fit, if you wish to do so (and if not, sometimes I find just thinking about moving helps a bit, although I tend to do that with daydreaming about travel plans more)

Don't rush into anything like buying abroad. Your DCs are taking the piss and they need to stand on their own two feet - sounds like you have done plenty for them and it is your time.
Put your house on the rental market for 1 year tenancy with 6 month break clause. Give your DCs notice to bugger off.
Pack a case, rent a place in Spain for the winter and book your flight. See how you feel being abroad for a longer stay. Try some different places.
There is of course the legal European 3 month limit now for UK but that doesn't mean you can't get a visa at some point. Go for it OP what have you got to lose? A fabulous new adventure - I'm so jealous!

First of all tell your adult children that they need to use their inheritance money to fund their own accomodation, either together or separately. Tell them they have a calendar month to move out.

Second of all, unless you speak good Spanish I would knock the Spain idea on the head and look for somewhere to move to in the UK, you will have enough money to buy a modest property, a house or apartment somewhere and you are young enough to start again, make new friendships, build a social circle and grow yourself a good life. Future proof the move a bit. Don’t go anywhere too rural, think about somewhere big enough to have decent health care within easy reach, think about transport links for you to get about and friends to come to visit ( which they will if you go somewhere coastal). Buy a little dog who will get you out and about and meeting people, join a choir, a library, a walking group and a WI and you won’t look back.

Just downsize to the UK seaside and tell children they aren't moving in ....Devon is gorgeous. I would buy a flat in Ilfracombe or South Molton. When kids visit, will send them to hotels

I gave over everything to my kids but they have me now

You know, I suspect the OP knows we've left the EU. Call it a hunch.

@Harbans - there are two principal routes for retiring to Spain.

The first - which will likely be beyond your means - is by what's known as a 'golden visa'. However, this requires you to buy a property (or properties) in Spain for €500,000 . Given the likely sale value of your property - and unless you have significant other resources - this sounds outside your reach.

The second route - which will likely be more appropriate to your financial circumstances - is what's called a 'Non-Lucrative Visa' - ie where you can't work/do business in Spain but you can live in Spain providing g you can support yourself financially. The Spanish authorities currently set this amount as at least €27,115.20 per year.

Use Mumsnet to pick your way through the tangled relationships you may have with your family but for the practicalities of such a move, including the availability of care in later life, I would suggest you head to specific expat websites.

Hope this helps

Interesting as I am in the early planning stages of spending a year in Spain with my two young adult kids once my DD leaves uni. Even though we only plan to go for a year the rules are the same as if we were moving permanently. We are getting Irish passports to make it easier but if you are British it’s still doable.
First, why and where? How well do you know Spain? Are you looking for big city life (Madrid or Barcelona for example), or coastal village or something in between? North is very different from southern Spain. Do you want an ex pat community? Are you willing to learn the language? Are you comfortable in your own company and are you proactive enough to go out and make new friends?
Will you need to work is the second question. If non EU you can get several visas. One is the non lucrative visa which is for retirees or those who don’t need to work, and you have to demonstrate you have funds to support yourself, about €30k/year, and that can include pension payments. This visa you apply for before you go, and any proof of fund documents may need to be translated to Spanish. Your £200k pot is good enough for this, at least for a few years, but you will need to renew the visa and still prove sufficient funds.
There’s the digital nomad visa where you are working remotely, 80% of which has to be for a non Spanish firm. You have to prove your earnings which have to be twice Spain’s minimum wage, so around €2800/month. You can’t include your pension for this. I think there’s a way of going on a non lucrative visa then eventually being able to work but you can investigate that.
You will have to get private health insurance that covers any pre-existing conditions. If you have none this may just be a few hundred pounds a year, if you do it’s thousands. You will have to become a resident of Spain after X days, and there are tax implications with that. Taxation in Spain is higher and it will be on your worldwide income. There’s a reciprocal agreement so you don’t pay double tax, but if you were to sell your home AFTER you became a tax resident there you are subject to capital gains, even on your main residence, which is exempt here. So you need to be aware of that.
If you need a car either take your own or buy when out there. You can swap your English license for a Spanish one without retaking a test. You need to register your English car in Spain and that costs a bit (€500 I believe), and of course they drive on the opposite side so your car will be that way too.
If you don’t want to do the paperwork of becoming a resident then you can only stay for 90 days out of every 180, so you will probably have to do it (the 90 days includes any time spent in any Schengen country and the clock doesn’t restart so can’t just nip over to another country and come back).

Will you rent or buy? Spain is no longer a cheap alternative. Unless you live in a rural town where you may get a bargain property you will be spending quite a bit of your £200k on a home. Renting obviously totally depends on the area. We are looking in Costa Almeria and for a three bedroom it’s €1000-1800/month, cheaper than the Costa del Sol.
Many only want to rent off season too, though
this may not be the case in larger cities. The average two bed in Barcelona is over €1200/month.
There is plenty of advice online- check out YouTube. There are also moving to Spain experts who will walk you through the process, but they cost quite a bit, up to you if your Spanish is poor it might be worth it - Spain loves its red tape!
Good luck to you. It’s an exciting adventure, but do your research and perhaps visit different regions first to see if you like the area, and remember that there’s a long off season where things really quiet down if going to a touristy town. And it does get a bit chilly in the winter!

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtlethe Golden visa has been stopped.

My parents retired to Spain. Basically there is little adult social care, social services or support if an elderly person falls ill. It's all down to the family so guess who had to care for them when they got ill? As I'm fluent in the language I managed to do all the bureaucracy and dealing with hospitals and medical staff.

A family member has a small holiday home in Southern Spain (not me!) I can use it when it's free. It's in a lovely area not too far from Gibraltar. I really love it in Winter, but honestly I would never live there. I like home too much I suppose. There's a huge difference between staying for a few weeks and becoming a permanent resident, especially if there's a language barrier.

As a start anyway, if you can save all your holiday allowance, go for an extended period in the Winter. That's when you get a real feel for a place, it's totally different to the buzz of Summer.

As you are 62, you'd be eligible to buy into a retirement complex house. Yes there would be a monthly fee for living in the complex but you'd get that if you lived in a leasehold flat as well, and I gather that a lot of new housing estates have the same nowadays. As you children can't be over 55 then they couldn't come & live with you, meanwhile you can set down roots somewhere with other similar aged people who want a reasonably peaceful life and at the same time there will be a warden about in case of emergencies as you get older.

Definitely something I'm considering for after retirement, as long as I can find a decent one that lets me keep my cats there & build then a catio!

@Harbans I'm very sorry about the loss of your DH, but why did you allow two of your DC to move back in with you, rent and bills free? You didn't have to do that - even in the private rented sector, with £45k each in their back pockets, their housing security would have been guaranteed for decades. Give them a week's notice (totally reasonable given their housing status is "Excluded Occupier" and they make no financial contribution to the household) and get the peace you crave - and make sure you get their keys back and if not, change the locks.
You don't need to move to Spain to get peace from your argumentative DC, but if you're set on it for other reasons you need to check if you would even meet the visa eligibility requirements: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/living-in-spain

Just reading the required figures did my head in. We are all cushy here so far. Why bother.

Call the eldest and consult them, make a joint decision and through United front chuck the sponges out and job done.

Very common. My in-laws moved to Spain a few years ago and have settled into a lovely Irish-Scottish-English-Welsh community. They have regular events, weekly bingo, barbecues and loving life. They’ve not met a single Spanish person that they would consider a good friend, just passersby and waiting staff/shop assistants. They’ve don’t speak Spanish, have no need. They don’t even eat in Spanish restaurants.
it’s a wee mini Britain. And they are very happy.
I should add that the visa application process took about two years and they didn’t proof of funds etc

Well I guess as there's such a large ex - pat community out there, a lot of them don't tend to mix with the Spanish?
All the social events they do are with other Brits.

Tui do 'long holidays' for three months. Or get a campervan. There is no reason why you shouldn't make major changes to your life by giving up work and selling the house. Do you have a pension?

It's your house, so just tell your DCs to move out. You don't have to downsize to do that. Just explain that at your age you want to live alone. It will probably be good for them.