6 in 10 think toilet training isn't necessary?

[dontcomeatme]

https://www.netmums.com/child/education/primary-schools/parents-say-potty-training-and-table-manners-not-essential-before-starting-school

"Commissioned by The Department for Education the poll, which included 2,000 parents with children aged under five, found that six in ten parents said toilet training isn’t essential before starting Reception."

I have known for years the number of children entering school still in nappies has risen, many of the schools around here have had to install changing tables and nappy bins etc. But this number has still shocked me! We're in the middle of potty training our 2.5YO and it's not easy at all, but definitely essential!
What's your view on this? If you have DC at what age did you potty train? Or not as the article suggests?

This doesn't include ND or SEN children. Nor is it a goady thread calling parents lazy. Just genuinely curious, I was really shocked reading the article. Although I suppose its good the NHS have made a "get prepared for school" guide for parents.

So basically fine to foist untrained children onto school staff to sort out. That is what you're saying?

The stat quoted is 6/10 are not trained, so your claim just ignores this ?

It’s like potty training has never been a thing or indeed parenting your child. I really have no idea what’s happening with parents today. Maybe getting off their phones might help. Most can’t/won’t brush their teeth either. Bless! 🙄🙄🙄

No flaming here...totally agree!

It's already been clarified that the stat quoted is misleading based on the question asked. No parent actually said that toilet training isn't essential to start school.

That's a joke!!

That isn’t the stat at all. The stat is that 6/10 parents don’t think it’s essential. Not that they don’t do it. And as has been said, as the questionnaire didn’t say it wasn’t including SEN children, I can see that lots of people would have said it wasn’t “essential” on that basis, despite thinking that in general, parents should do all they can to ensure their child is out of nappies.

Approximately 75% of children are toilet trained by school age so that statistic makes no sense. I don’t know any parent that doesn’t think it’s an essential skill. I work with children who have SEN and in almost all cases where they haven’t yet toilet trained before going to school parents have tried everything, I’ve never had anybody say to me oh we haven’t tried as it’s not essential.

If these children have attended nursery and not been able to toilet train there is it possible they have undiagnosed issues. Both of mine were undiagnosed ND at nursery and aged 3 were the last to get out of nappies, but nursery try as hard as the parents to get them school ready.

Apparently several of our children in reception this year are not potty trained - I think the reception teacher told me it’s around 20%. There are some children still in nappies higher up the school, as late as year 5. It causes issues because we have no staff to manage that intimate care….

Because it depends how you interpret the question. You work with children with SEN where the parents have tried everything? And yet they’re in school? So therefore, it is quite clearly not literally essential.

Or someone could read it as asking whether it’s essential and therefore children should be denied a school place because they can’t do the essential thing, and they answer no because they don’t want to punish the child for the parents’ laziness.

I bet if you asked “should all parents do everything possible to ensure that their child is toilet trained before starting school, taking into account any specific medical/SEN needs of the child”, 6/10 would not say no.

So do I

Yes exactly that

Jeez. Lazy poor parenting. And these will be the kids of the future.. scary.

if there’s a medical reason, get it, otherwise it’s bonkers.

My son is in Year 5 and is one of those children. He does have an EHCP and an intimate care plan with 2 named TA's who manage his intimate care when he's at school.

My daughter is profoundly mentally and physically disabled, she is 33 but under 3 months developmentally,

As a child, she was completely unresponsive, her brain injury was so profound that she wasn't able to interpret the signals to enable her to learn to see or hear, she just existed.

Being a child of the 60's I did to her what my mum did to me, everytime she had something to eat or drink, I signed toilet on her body (moved her right arm across midline and tapped her left shoulder) whipped the nappy off and strapped her onto a handmade throne,

The poor love, she had no trunkal stability but was hoiked up on a potty. Long story short, perseverance paid off, it took a few years but she got conditioned into 'signing' and using the toilet, it can be done, but sadly, for various reasons the pads had to go back on, but I still feel proud that she managed it.

Her older brother was dry day and night by 2, I just whipped his nappy off and said you're a big boy now and it was as easy as that for us!

When my children were small, the nappies were horrible and I don't think they kept the wet off you like today's nappies do, so maybe now that they are so absorbant, children don't feel uncomfortable being in a wet pad so the urge to get out of them isn't as great?

Mine has send and was a nightmare to potty train we just got him reliably trained for wees before starting school. Very hit and miss for pooing so we had many accidents at school before he started going to the toilet. I tried from ages 2ish but he'd go anywhere but the toilet, nighttime he's still not completely dry at 8

Is this a joke?

Excuse me!?!
This sounds ridiculous (on the face of it).
Potty training/ how to behave is fundamental for a young child by their parent/s!

Poor teachers, expected to just pick up the slack..! They have enough to do. 🤯

It’s awful that parents are content to allow their children to sit in their own mess rather than potty train them in time for nursery school.

If we are excluding any medical issues and SEN from the discussion and are only discussing medically healthy, neurotypical children who are meeting all their developmental milestones at a normal pace:

Then yes.
Potty training is absolutely a necessary, basic life skill and I don’t think there’s an acceptable reason for a child to be starting school and still not be toilet trained. (Obviously not the case for children with medical issues, SEN or any other issue that may affect their development or ability to toilet train!).
Potty training is shit (pardon the pun!). It’s one of the shittest parts of parenting young children. Washing wet underwear, carrying an endless supply of clean clothes, scrubbing piss out of carpets when they haven’t quite made it in time…..but it’s also necessary.
Not sure about other people’s children, but by the time mine were in Reception, they were quite self-aware and socially aware, and they’d have been utterly mortified if a teacher had to change their nappies or if other children in the class knew they were wearing one 🫣

Is there a link to the actual survey?

Completely agree with you. Schools have enough to do. Parents need to take responsibility for potty training- pure laziness as it’s so basic.

They do have a right to an education, but parents should make more of an effort to train them. Whilst teachers are changing nappies the others are missing out. Some children don’t know how to turn pages in books, they’re trying to swipe.

Unfortunately I’ve seen so many parents give their youngster their phone or an iPad to entertain them. I was sat next to one for 10 hours on a flight. There were 3 of us, hubby, daughter and myself split on an aisle seat, I took one for the team and sat next to the screaming toddler. His mother wasn’t interested, the father kept shoving the iPad or his phone onto the little lad. I got my pen and a pad out of my bag, drew some basic pictures and encouraged him to colour them, he loved it. In my opinion a lot of them just can’t be arsed.

I think it's gross to leave a toddler who can understand basic questions in nappies longer than they need to be. My son (who had a speech delay) was out of nappies in the day at 20 months and at night at 2.5, and my daughter was done with both at 16 months. If they can understand they are capable and it's lazy and degrading to leave them longer than that.