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Original poster

Would you monitor a fall alarm for a neighbour?

199 replies

poshcrisps · 09/10/2025 15:15

I have an elderly, very vulnerable neighbour who is just about to get out of hospital. He has no family. He has fallen several times.

I've just had a phone call from the hospital asking if I could be the response person for his alarm going off (I'm not sure how this works in practice).

I said yes but now I'm wondering if I've been too hasty.

What would you do?

OP posts:
MrsNessaSmithy · 09/10/2025 15:16

No

MidnightMeltdown · 09/10/2025 15:16

I would say yes. Why wouldn’t you?

NewMe2024 · 09/10/2025 15:17

If I reasonably could, then yes, I would. It’s a very kind thing to do and I’d hope someone would do the same for me if things were reversed. But only you know if you add to your commitments. My guess is that if he falls you would go around to check on him / call an ambulance if needed.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 09/10/2025 15:18

Clearly the first step if finding out what it involves. I would say yes though as this is how society functions.

NewHat · 09/10/2025 15:18

Yes, I would.

shellyleppard · 09/10/2025 15:18

I wouldn't,no. You might end up being called at all hours. Is he going to have a care package in place before he comes home?

dullgreysky · 09/10/2025 15:19

I would ask a lot more questions about what is expected. You can't be expected to be home and available 24/7. You wouldn't want to be troubled whilst at the hairdresser for example, nor in the early hours of the morning.

ichifanny · 09/10/2025 15:20

No you will end up way more involved and becoming default carer

Member278307 · 09/10/2025 15:20

No you will be on call at all times

LadyWiddiothethird · 09/10/2025 15:21

No,don’t agree to this.It sounds mean to say no.But as poster above said,you will become a carer.

bestbefore · 09/10/2025 15:22

for my parents, if they trigger the alarm, the company speaks to them - via a box in the house connected to the telephone. They call an ambulance or provide support, and then call me or my DS so we know what’s going on. At that point you can decide what’s needed.

MrsNessaSmithy · 09/10/2025 15:22

I would be worried about being the main contact for any issues with the neighbour and being pulled into taking on some responsibility. If you are happy with that then go for it.
I do work in this area and the pressure to discharge people from hospitals is immense so People can be asked to be responders that may not realise the potential implications.

purplecorkheart · 09/10/2025 15:22

ichifanny · 09/10/2025 15:20

No you will end up way more involved and becoming default carer

That would be my worry too. Would you be able to lift him up if he falls but not hurt. What would you do if you are on holiday etc and the company call you?

MyMilchick · 09/10/2025 15:23

Have a chat to them and see what that involves. If you're far away and it goes off, can you call someone to do a check on him? Or are you expected to always be near?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/10/2025 15:23

If it’s just the fall alarm yes but I would want to be careful they weren’t expecting more. A friend of mine took her neighbour to hospital after a fall and when she was discharged the hospital got quite stroppy with her when she said no she couldn’t be their carer 😮

Danioyellow · 09/10/2025 15:23

I’ve done this op, once for a service user in work (I’m a carer) and once for a neighbour. Both had falls. I waited for an ambulance with the service user for 8 hours until she passed away from internal bleeding. The neighbour had a fall outside in the middle of winter in minus temperatures. That was another 8 hour wait, outside, trying to prevent her becoming hypothermic. I’d do it again for certain neighbours or in an emergency, it’s not to be taken lightly though

BeeCucumber · 09/10/2025 15:23

No. You would become the default carer and all the responsibilities will be on your head. What would happen if you were on holiday for example? My father had one and we were called out day and night.

TheClanoftheDook · 09/10/2025 15:25

No. I wouldn’t.

Danioyellow · 09/10/2025 15:25

purplecorkheart · 09/10/2025 15:22

That would be my worry too. Would you be able to lift him up if he falls but not hurt. What would you do if you are on holiday etc and the company call you?

Show quote history

Also a good point. I very recently watched a paramedic fracture an overweight ladies femur trying to pull her away from the radiator where she’d fallen. Is this person small?

Christwosheds · 09/10/2025 15:25

NewHat · 09/10/2025 15:18

Yes, I would.

Same. I would happily do this.

EndlessDistraction · 09/10/2025 15:26

bestbefore · 09/10/2025 15:22

for my parents, if they trigger the alarm, the company speaks to them - via a box in the house connected to the telephone. They call an ambulance or provide support, and then call me or my DS so we know what’s going on. At that point you can decide what’s needed.

Same here and it only goes through to their neighbour if we aren't available or if the house needed to be opened (they hold a key, there isn't anywhere suitable for a keysafe). My DF has had one of these alarms for years and never needed to bother the neighbours. I'd do it for my neighbour, it doesn't commit you to anything other than helping if you are available to do so and you can always pull
out later.

CandidLurker · 09/10/2025 15:27

Just going through a situation with my uncle with dementia who lives hundreds of miles away from me. No children and lives in a dilapidated bungalow. Has been wandering at night. Social services trying to convince me he could be sent home with a care package and “assistive technology”.

I honestly would not agree to get involved in any formal way.

EmeraldRoulette · 09/10/2025 15:27

@Danioyellow I apologise if this is a really stupid question

I'm guessing she must've had a major injury that she couldn't be moved inside? Or was it a case of no one being prepared to do it?

@poshcrisps I am this person for my mum. I'm not sure I would do it for anyone else. It depends what it involves though. If it means that you have to get in touch with another person who is responsible for the neighbour, then it's a bit different. I would do that but I wouldn't accept full caring responsibility for anyone else.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/10/2025 15:28

MIL fell in the night, not hurt but couldn’t get up, and her neighbour who was the contact came and put a blanket over her and made her a cup of tea while she waited for the ambulance. I would want to be called to do that if my neighbour had a fall, but then he has family so I would know there wouldn’t be a risk of getting expected to take further responsibility.

EndlessDistraction · 09/10/2025 15:28

And of course you aren't expected to be close by and available at all times or a carer in any other way.

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