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Original poster

Would you monitor a fall alarm for a neighbour?

199 replies

poshcrisps · 09/10/2025 15:15

I have an elderly, very vulnerable neighbour who is just about to get out of hospital. He has no family. He has fallen several times.

I've just had a phone call from the hospital asking if I could be the response person for his alarm going off (I'm not sure how this works in practice).

I said yes but now I'm wondering if I've been too hasty.

What would you do?

OP posts:
JurassicPark4Eva · 09/10/2025 15:30

For a day or two, whilst a permanent solution is sorted, absolutely. Forever? Absolutely not.

Original poster
poshcrisps · 09/10/2025 15:30

I did say I was going away in a couple of months and what would happen then - and the OT didn't know.

Thanks for feedback and I think it is too big a responsibility. I don't want to be disturbed during the night if possible. I did this for my mum (kept my phone on all night by my side) but after she sadly died I've never had my phone in my room overnight.

OP posts:
Harrysmummy246 · 09/10/2025 15:31

poshcrisps · 09/10/2025 15:15

I have an elderly, very vulnerable neighbour who is just about to get out of hospital. He has no family. He has fallen several times.

I've just had a phone call from the hospital asking if I could be the response person for his alarm going off (I'm not sure how this works in practice).

I said yes but now I'm wondering if I've been too hasty.

What would you do?

MIL's neighbours always kept an eye out, although the one time she did fall really badly, didn't have the bloody thing anywhere to hand anyway and her nongenarian MIL found her....

TattooStan · 09/10/2025 15:43

Not a chance, no. I'd use the legitimate excuse that I'm too busy with work and am in the office half the week with no set pattern. And if I didn't have that legitimate excuse, I'd certainly be making one up!

Labelak · 09/10/2025 15:51

No
not an appropriate ask of a neighbour

PumpkinSeasonOctober · 09/10/2025 15:52

No I wouldn’t. What if you’re out, want to go away, sleep through it? Too much responsibility for a neighbour.

DiscoBob · 09/10/2025 15:56

No. The hospital are terrible for trying to foist responsibility for the vulnerable onto neighbours who are often near strangers. I had to keep telling the physio that this isn't Ramsay Street!

I don't know what it entails but it's clearly a massive responsibility. Those alarms are meant to go to a nursing or care company, or it summons an ambulance? Not just get a random woman to come round and try and lift him or do CPR. I thought.

AgapanthusPink · 09/10/2025 16:05

I think there are falls alarms that can be set up for a third party agency rather than a nominated named person if you’re feeling guilty that you’re leaving him to fend for himself. Problem is if you agree then as far as the authorities are concerned possession is 9 tenths of the law and you could be called at 2 in the morning and sat there for 12 hours waiting for an ambulance etc etc to turn up. There would be no rush if you assured them it wasn’t an emergency situation (ie it wasn’t a heart attack or stroke) because as far as they were concerned he was ‘safe’ with someone looking out for him. As you’ve already seen if you went away the authorities don’t have a contingency plan and it wouldn’t surprise me if they expected you to sort something out yourself. I would also be suspicious that he would be prioritised for services because as far as they’re concerned the OP is ready to step in and help.

AgapanthusPink · 09/10/2025 16:06

wouldn’t be prioritised

Lavender14 · 09/10/2025 16:09

I think it depends on your lifestyle, if you're home a lot anyway and could quickly leave what you're doing to get round to him and then stay with him for however long an ambulance takes then yes, but if you're out most of the time or have tiny kids you couldn't leave etc then no I wouldn't, or I'd do it alongside someone else with a clear agreement of who will step in when.

It really depends on if you can deliver practically if needed - I'm a lone parent to a toddler- I wouldn't be able to leave ds sleeping in the middle of the night to go next door for potentially a few hours so I personally wouldn't feel able to do it justice.

Iloveeverycat · 09/10/2025 16:12

If they can't get hold of anyone they have a number for they will just send an ambulance or police who ever they think is needed. So they don't really need your number what do they expect you to do.

Fantomflangeflinger · 09/10/2025 16:13

Yes I would. I just wouldn’t want to be liable if I did not see an alarm go off for whatever reason or it malfunctioned, so I would make that clear that I would do my best but no guarantees. You know about no good deed going unpunished. I also would not rush home for it if I was out.

TheOliveFinch · 09/10/2025 16:14

I did this for one of my neighbours and when she triggered the alarm got a phone call asking me to pop into her house and check on her. I stayed with her until the ambulance arrived and she was taken to hospital. There is no expectation that you can be called at any time but they will try you first in the event of a fall as if you are at home you can quickly get to them before an ambulance arrives

rwalker · 09/10/2025 16:14

I wouldn’t want you

but I would

mygrandchildrenrock · 09/10/2025 16:14

We were, for an immediate neighbour. When they had a fall, the company would phone them but they could never reach the phone, so then they’d phone us. It didn’t matter what time of day or night it was, they would phone us. One of us would go round and if we couldn’t help our neighbour to get back up, we’d call the company, they’d call an ambulance/paramedic. We did it for a number of years but it did get more frequent over time. I don’t think our neighbour’s adult children, who lived hundreds of miles away, knew how often this happened.
The night I said no, was when we’d got into bed at 3.00 a.m. just having arrived back from holiday and sure enough within a few minutes the company phoned me. I said to take us off the list and they became quite rude to me.
We never had a thank you from their relatives, although our neighbour was always very grateful.
It certainly would make me wary of agreeing again. I think it depends on how old you are, do you work full time - so need an unbroken night’s sleep and how much you like your neighbours!

TheClanoftheDook · 09/10/2025 16:17

Fantomflangeflinger · 09/10/2025 16:13

Yes I would. I just wouldn’t want to be liable if I did not see an alarm go off for whatever reason or it malfunctioned, so I would make that clear that I would do my best but no guarantees. You know about no good deed going unpunished. I also would not rush home for it if I was out.

Edited

See I get this, but liability or not, I’d feel so guilty if it was “on me” and he’d fallen and had to lie there for hours because I’d slept through the alarm or whatever.

Too much responsibility for a neighbour. They shouldn’t be trying to put this on unrelated neighbours.

Original poster
poshcrisps · 09/10/2025 16:18

Fantomflangeflinger · 09/10/2025 16:13

Yes I would. I just wouldn’t want to be liable if I did not see an alarm go off for whatever reason or it malfunctioned, so I would make that clear that I would do my best but no guarantees. You know about no good deed going unpunished. I also would not rush home for it if I was out.

Edited

but of course I would feel I must rush home if it went off.

I have talked myself out of doing this already.

OP posts:
user5972308467 · 09/10/2025 16:19

How ours worked was it first rang the company, who assessed if it was a genuine crisis or pressed by accident, then they’d either ring an ambulance if they could hear the elderly persons response shouting for help or there was no response. If it was something else that didn’t require an emergency ambulance they’d start ringing the list of numbers they had for us/neighbours in order of priority. If you didn’t answer they'd move onto the next number.
Didn’t use it for long though as a fall resulted in a care home…

Skybluepinky · 09/10/2025 16:22

Yes of course, we live in a road of old people and everyone helps everyone else. During covid when ambulances were taking in excess of 26 hours we were instructed how to lift them, and keep them comfy until help arrived.

Lovemycat2023 · 09/10/2025 16:24

It depends on the details. I was that person for a relative but if I didn’t answer or couldn’t go over they called 999 for a welfare check (that’s why I paid for it) but it malfunctioned quite a bit and that was stressful.

Lovemycat2023 · 09/10/2025 16:27

I should also add they should be putting in an external key lock box if you agree (both for you and for the ambulance service)

LaChouette · 09/10/2025 16:28

Yes I would. I believe in community and helping those around me.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 09/10/2025 16:29

These things should be dealt with by proper companies who have staff overnight. Expecting a random neighbour to have their phone on and sound up all night, to go over in the middle of the night and stay there for hours and hours while the ambulance is ‘on the way’ and to take a days annual leave or day off sick because they haven’t slept is insane.

Everyone wants to be nice and neighbourly but what about your kids, your job, your other responsibilities?

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 09/10/2025 16:29

LaChouette · 09/10/2025 16:28

Yes I would. I believe in community and helping those around me.

So do I. But I’ve never had a boss who was okay with that, they all somehow expect me to turn up to work every day.

Lavender14 · 09/10/2025 16:30

Lovemycat2023 · 09/10/2025 16:27

I should also add they should be putting in an external key lock box if you agree (both for you and for the ambulance service)

I agree with this - I once had to climb in a window before as the resident had fallen but with their keys in the latch on the inside and the door locked so no way for me to get in to her otherwise.