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Original poster

I start a new job as a cleaner today and the thought is really depressing me.

135 replies

MybosswasMrMcGee · 01/10/2025 08:00

Firstly, I am not knocking being a cleaner, it's just not something that I really enjoy doing but I am in a position where I have no choice right now and need the money.

But I just feel so sad about my life.

Twenty years ago today I was in labour with my first born, it was one of the happiest times of my life. A year later I returned to my job as an administrator in a job that I enjoyed and had been doing for over 15 years.

15 years ago I became a stay at home mum to my two dc. Not eveyone's cup of tea, I know but being a stay at home parent was the most joyful time of my life, I loved and cherished every minute.

10 years ago I became a PA for a disabled client - although it was sometimes a challenge as I struggle with some chronic health issues and was balancing it out with caring for my mum (who has dementia), it was also a job I very much enjoyed.

1 year ago the PA job came to an end as my client passed away. I took time out to look after my mum who is now in the advanced stages of her dementia journey. It has not been a great time and the stress has made all of my chronic health issues so much worse but being out of work for a year has meant money is now very tight and I need to pay off some debt. I need to work but it has been so difficult to find a job in my area.

I have been offered cleaning work from a close family member who runs a cleaning business. I start today. I am so sad that my life has come to this. I am not knocking being a cleaner and I am very grateful for the work. I will put on my mask (ie smile), I will work well as I am a hard worker and will just have to get on with it but it won't stop me feeling sad.

I feel this is my life now. I should have returned to administration work after having my children and worked my way up the ladder but my chronic health issues leave me exhausted at times and now in my 50's I have neither the funds to study for anything new nor the energy tbh.

How can I come to terms that I will never have a fulfilling and interesting job and this is my life from now on, cleaning houses for rich people.

OP posts:
Deerfolk · 01/10/2025 08:02

Cleaning can be so satisfying. You can zone out, listen to a podcast and when you are finished you can look and see the job that you’ve done. Some jobs never end.

CoastalCalm · 01/10/2025 08:05

Get some upbeat music on some headphones or a podcast and give it a go - my cleaner hates cleaning her own house but loves her job

PegDope · 01/10/2025 08:10

I worked three jobs as a single parent OP, cleaning being one of them.

As others have said, get an audiobook or listen to some podcasts. It can be thoroughly satisfying. At the end of my working day I have nothing tangible to show for it. Sometimes it feels like the work is never ending.

Interested in this thread?

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Dementia & alzheimer's
DisplayPurposesOnly · 01/10/2025 08:10

Hopefully you have nice clients who appreciate the help that you give them. Not everyone who has a cleaner is "rich" (I'm not!) Cleaning lady day is a happy day as far as I'm concerned.

Good luck with your new job 🙂

StarlightLady · 01/10/2025 08:12

Wishing you all the best wishes OP. 🌻It’s a more important job than a stock broker. Always remember you are not “just a cleaner”.

Keep an eye on job adverts while you are doing it. You are demonstrating determination.

Cheepcheepcheep · 01/10/2025 08:15

What would you like to be doing, OP?

Westfacing · 01/10/2025 08:15

Try not to be despondent - treat the job as a means to an end i.e. you need some extra money right now and this is a way to earn it. I'm not saying be a Pollyanna but don't be resentful as you go about your work.

Lots of people are doing jobs they don't like, for low pay, that's how it is and always has been.

As for admin jobs - you can get back into this if you give it some thought and effort. A close friend got a really good admin job in the City aged 55, and at 60 moved to an even better one.

I hope today goes well.

ComfortFoodCafe · 01/10/2025 08:15

there are a lot of cleaners who have made a killing off cleaning, such as lydnsey queen of clean, dazlinclean etc it doesnt have to be a dead end job if you dont want it to be.

ByLemonFish · 01/10/2025 08:18

I qualified as a NNEB nursery nurse many years ago. Worked most of my working life in childcare, including as a manager of a large nursery/after school club.
In 2018 I left to become a cleaner due to the stress of changes in childcare. Set up my own cleaning business soon after. Absolutely loved every minute, wished I'd done it years before. Due to health issues I was forced to take early retirement in March this year.

I think you will be surprised how much you will enjoy cleaning, no stress, basically your own boss, lots of job satisfaction and in my case the pay was better

Good luck and enjoy

Summerhillsquare · 01/10/2025 08:19

Head up with pride, you have spent your life doing the right thing and being a responsible citizen.

Owly11 · 01/10/2025 08:26

This is what happens to a lot of women who have children and take time out for caring responsibilities. We lose our value as we age and end up with our careers petering out. It’s part of the structural unfairness of life. However I don’t think you should see it as something you will do forever. It’s an opportunity to earn money for now, and you can think about other options in the meantime. What would you like to do next? Also you need to reframe your thinking- it’s not just rich people who have cleaners so I don’t think you should see this as an ‘us and them’ situation. As others have said, cleaning can be both satisfying and make a real difference to the lives of others.

YourFairCyanReader · 01/10/2025 08:28

If you don't want to clean long-term, are you keeping an eye out for admin work? In particular would customer-facing reception work fit with your skill set? Or perhaps another PA/executive assistant role? IME mature women can do very well at these jobs because of life experience and ability to deal with situations in person, and multi task. You have lots of experience, don't write yourself off.

In the meantime be proud of yourself for being flexible and working hard to pay the bills!

WhatALightbulbMoment · 01/10/2025 08:30

Try to remember how much your clients appreciate the job you do. I have a cleaner and I am so grateful for the great job she does - she really makes a big difference to my life!

Higgledypiggledy864 · 01/10/2025 08:31

We have a cleaner and the relief I feel when she's been and sorted the house is awesome - she makes such a difference to us we wouldn't be without her - she's basically one of the family now. She used to be a tax accountant but cleans because she enjoys it and it's less stressful. Please don't see this role as a downgrade, it can be such a life saver.

Higgledypiggledy864 · 01/10/2025 08:32

Also, of you don't want to be a cleaner, look into being a housekeeper which involves some PA work, or being a remote personal PA which can pay quite well.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 01/10/2025 08:35

totally honest here, I went back to work at the beginning of this year, after 16 years of being a sahm/ carer. I took a job as a cleaner, as they were the only company who would hire me. I expected to hate it, really dreaded starting work, but I actually really enjoy it. There is a real satisfaction from seeing the results of my hard work, and cleaning without my kids around makes it feel completely different from cleaning my own house and seeing it messed up again 10 minutes later 😂. Go into it with no expectations, and you may be surprised, like I was. If you don’t like it, you can use it as a starting point, to gain experience and a reference for doing something else.

JetFlight · 01/10/2025 08:35

Just because you’re resilient and adaptable enough now to take on any work that you need to, it doesn’t mean that you can’t keep applying for other jobs. Sometimes, we have transition periods, stop gaps and stepping stones in our lives.

Original poster
MybosswasMrMcGee · 01/10/2025 08:36

Cheepcheepcheep · 01/10/2025 08:15

What would you like to be doing, OP?

A total pie in the sky dream but I would have loved to have trained to be a Silversmith. I have always dreamt of a little workshop in the countryside with my dog laying in his bed under my workbench whilst I create my latest designs.

Ideally, whatever the job I would love for it to be a wfh position due to my health issues but that also seems very unrealistic.

Even a driving job would be quite nice atm. My mum recently had some meals delivered from a company called Wiltshire foods, the delivery guy said he loved his delivery job as it got him out and about. I am quite worn out caring for my mum so the old brain cells are pretty fried, a job like that would be quite nice right now.

Jobs in my area are really hard to find right now as it has been very heavily built upon with lots of new estates.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 01/10/2025 08:38

You do what you do to pay the bills.
I find it helps to be grateful for the physical activity (no need to go to the gym outside of work hours) and that you can, hopefully, take as much or as little work as you need.

vinylvibes · 01/10/2025 08:38

Sounds like you've done amazing. You might surprise yourself and really enjoy the work. However, if an admin job is something you want to pursue again could you try temp work?

Thingyfanding1 · 01/10/2025 08:39

Never say never. Be grateful everyday for the work and keep in mind that it’s just a stop gap. I work in recruitment and have just placed someone who was out of work for 4 years, caring for a family member, in a really nice admin role - she’s in her 60s.

Lastweekwasbetter · 01/10/2025 08:39

The only job I could do was cleaning and I have had a nightmare in the last few years as now everyone has pets and I’m severely allergic! No agency would allow me to decline so many jobs due to this and I couldn’t earn enough to satisfy UC. I’m sad as I absolutely loved it. Cleaning is actually relaxing for me , headphones in and get on with the job no distractions, huge satisfaction to do a good job. I miss it !

LyricalGangsta · 01/10/2025 08:40

I understand where you are coming from OP.
I gave up my career to have children and am now a shop worker.
I wouldn’t be without my children but I was thinking last week as I was trying to budget my last ten quid to keep the kids fed, that if I had remained in my career I would be top management by now, probably on a yearly cruise and living comfortably.

Original poster
MybosswasMrMcGee · 01/10/2025 08:42

LyricalGangsta · 01/10/2025 08:40

I understand where you are coming from OP.
I gave up my career to have children and am now a shop worker.
I wouldn’t be without my children but I was thinking last week as I was trying to budget my last ten quid to keep the kids fed, that if I had remained in my career I would be top management by now, probably on a yearly cruise and living comfortably.

I know, it's a real balancing act isn't it? In my 20's I trained as a dispensing optician. I often wonder in a sliding doors moment where I would be in life had I taken that route.

OP posts:
ObliviousCoalmine · 01/10/2025 08:43

I don’t know if it helps but I have a cleaner and I bloody love her. She makes my life exponentially better and I tell her on a fairly regular basis. She’s help improve my mental health, make my work/life balance better and helped me enjoy my home more.

I know on the face of it cleaning doesn’t sound or maybe feel fulfilling but it does make a huge impact on people’s lives, genuinely.