I start a new job as a cleaner today and the thought is really depressing me.

[MybosswasMrMcGee]

Firstly, I am not knocking being a cleaner, it's just not something that I really enjoy doing but I am in a position where I have no choice right now and need the money.

But I just feel so sad about my life.

Twenty years ago today I was in labour with my first born, it was one of the happiest times of my life. A year later I returned to my job as an administrator in a job that I enjoyed and had been doing for over 15 years.

15 years ago I became a stay at home mum to my two dc. Not eveyone's cup of tea, I know but being a stay at home parent was the most joyful time of my life, I loved and cherished every minute.

10 years ago I became a PA for a disabled client - although it was sometimes a challenge as I struggle with some chronic health issues and was balancing it out with caring for my mum (who has dementia), it was also a job I very much enjoyed.

1 year ago the PA job came to an end as my client passed away. I took time out to look after my mum who is now in the advanced stages of her dementia journey. It has not been a great time and the stress has made all of my chronic health issues so much worse but being out of work for a year has meant money is now very tight and I need to pay off some debt. I need to work but it has been so difficult to find a job in my area.

I have been offered cleaning work from a close family member who runs a cleaning business. I start today. I am so sad that my life has come to this. I am not knocking being a cleaner and I am very grateful for the work. I will put on my mask (ie smile), I will work well as I am a hard worker and will just have to get on with it but it won't stop me feeling sad.

I feel this is my life now. I should have returned to administration work after having my children and worked my way up the ladder but my chronic health issues leave me exhausted at times and now in my 50's I have neither the funds to study for anything new nor the energy tbh.

How can I come to terms that I will never have a fulfilling and interesting job and this is my life from now on, cleaning houses for rich people.

I’m so sorry you’ve come through all of this and now feel this way, you’ve been through a lot.

Maybe look at it this way - you’ve had a busy and very productive and I’m sure challenging life so far. You’ve helped many people in their lives - your children, your mum, someone who themselves was ill and needed a lot of help - I’ve been in a carers role (whilst working and bringing up DC) and the emotional and physical toll that can take is huge. And you’ve then lost two of those people which is very hard. Maybe this is time to let your brain relax a little, enjoy the satisfaction of some physical work, moving around more, enjoying seeing the results of your hard work and and it’s maybe a small hiatus, time to try something different, until you decide where you go next and what you do for you. Think of all that you’ve achieved, who you’ve helped and what a varied life you’ve had so far. It’s hard I’m sure but be kind to yourself, sounds like there are many more chapters to come.

Given your great administration skills,combined with lived experience of supporting someone with a disability, it sounds to me like you'd be an amazing note taker for a disabled student or support worke/PA to a disabled professional via Access to Work. The work is generally providing administrative type support rather than any physical care. E.g. a blind professional might need someone to take notes, upload information to client records, convert documents into a suitable format, have someone describe diagrams to them etc.

Some of those jobs can also be done remotely at least in part if not fully.

Nothing at all wrong with being a cleaner, but it sounds to me like something you might enjoy more and there's a real shortage of good people.

Absolutely 👏

Take pride and don't think of them as 'rich people'. We have cleaners (they work short hours as a team) and they are amazing; I value them so much.

An unhealthy thought, but you will probably see things that show you the lives of others aren't so perfect as they seem.

You can have 'me time' listening to a good audiobook or music. There must be great job satisfaction from leaving a house looking neat and tidy.

Be proud to be a cleaner; good ones are so valued.

I had to give up a well paid roll in the NHS in 2000, due to a break down - 36 years of age, burned out. I wasnt even fit to even think about work for a year , tried a phased return to work, couldn't cope so resigned

Never again managed to get back on the career path

Ive had jobs ever since, all part time, usually NMW , lots of zero hour contracts, but all jobs that paid the bills, and most I loved

My health is fragile still, more so now menopause has hit. I also care for my mother who's health is failing more and more ( she lives with us )

I dont look at "how did I come to this " I look at how Im still going :) Im 62 now and still putting in a 20 hour week in a kitchen starting at 5;30am. The youngun's come in at 6:30 to open up and are still yawning complaining of the early starts when I leave lol

What Im saying is, your life hasn't gone to plan, but you have had a life. You have raised children, you have been a very important person to so many people, you still are. You are still battling on with your own health issues

We are never going to get a world cruise, but we are getting time for each other and the family - kids, grandkids, we are there for them

Sure there have been times when Ive thought to myself why am I out here getting soaked to the skin getting doors closed in my face ( market research ) when I could be sat in a warm office, but then I think on, Id be a 9-5 slave again, with work that couldn't be left at work at 5pm. Now when I clock off - work ends No emails, no phone calls - work ends till the following day

Stick the ear phones on, listen to what makes you happy and give it your best shot.

Best of luck to you xxx

My advice is to focus on other aspects of your life. Plenty of people work just to make money but their life is all about their children/hobbies/relationships and community involvement.

You can be proud of yourself OP. You’ve raised children and cared for your mum. You’re doing what you need to do but this doesn’t have to be forever.

You can retrain with time. I’m at the same crossroads. Send Teen is growing up and I’ve been their carer so I’ve gone back to work in a temp job as a carer, I’m now in my 3rd year and I’m at college in the evenings doing engineering training.

im actually toying with quitting my current job and doing domestic cleaning because I fucking hate split shifts!

OP, can I point out to you a different angle of this job. I know that some cleaners earn more per hour than office workers, plus, it’s a less stressful job where potentially you may get bonuses and presents from clients, especially if you work privately as self employed. The cleaners I know get £25 per hour, £100th as Christmas bonus and all the designer cast offs, unwanted presents of their clients ( think brand new Burberry clothes, etc). They are a very very good reliable cleaners, so it works well for them.

@MybosswasMrMcGee I really hope your first day goes well and that people are kind and you enjoy it.

I took on a cleaning job post covid because I worked in the travel industry full-time and it was possible I'd lose my job because nobody was travelling.

I ended up loving that job, I loved the people I met and some of them I would be the only person they'd see all day.

I only gave it up because we moved out of the area.

Recently we have employed a cleaner, she retired from her corporate job and this is more flexible for her. I love her, it's genuinely a highlight of my week when she comes.

Oh and I'm not rich, definitely not rich or living in a fancy house or anything like that.

Please update us later, best of luck xx

Sorry, this is a bit of an aside but ....Does anyone on here know what the least amount of cleaning you can get is ? I and my partner are quite old and finding it increasingly difficult to clean. I need some very light cleaning help like maybe the bathroom one time, kitchen another time, hoovering another time etc. I would absolutely never exploit anyone by expecting too much and would be happy with a just a bit to ease the burden . I can't afford to pay for hours and hours every week. But I dont know if it's possible just to have a tiny bit of help. Anyone know ?

I've done many jobs more respectable yet a lot worse than cleaning. Although I'm not particularly house proud, I have enjoyed the cleaning jobs I've had over the years. You're usually left alone to do them and get to see a result at the end of the shift which I found quite satisfying.

Hey……stop right there! You have raised your children, cared for your Mum and been a PA for another chronically sick person! You should be proud!
And getting this job as a cleaner might just open other doors for you so pull on your big girl pants, hold your head high, shoulders back and smash this…….but do take care near any pricey ornaments! 💐 and a hug!

We lost our last cleaner after her other part time job became a full time one and now she is looking at retraining in a related field. I think cleaning might be quite flexible around other opportunities that come up so keep looking for other things you do want to do and good luck.

We have a fab new cleaner now. We live in a bog standard house and don’t earn loads but having my house clean once a week when I get home from work is my favourite thing!

Cleaning will probably be better for your health than sitting in an office chair all day.

You’re going to be ok x

I get Attendance Allowance because of health problems and use it to pay for a fantastic cleaner. She comes for two hours once a fortnight and it has made such a difference.

I think you should be proud of yourself for taking on this job, standing on your own two feet and doing what you need to do to make money.

I would also keep applying for admin/PA jobs or you could look at being a teaching assistant as you have a lot of experience of caring for others.

If the boss takes a day off, people don't notice and carry on as normal.
If the cleaner hasn't turned up, for whatever reason, everyone notices.

A good cleaner is highly valued.

I know ex teachers who have become part time cleaners. They can work on their own listening to music or a podcast and when they have finished they know they have finished (no work to take home) and can see the benefit of their labours.

Agreed. When I was working full-time, my cleaning lady was an absolute lifeline.

I think you’ll find as many non rich people have cleaners- my mum has a lady that comes in once a week as my mum is on a cane and can only lightly dust, my friend has a cleaner since she had a bypass, another saves to get a cleaner in for a few hours once a month. Op keep job hunting in the background if you want but I agree with what everyone says on this thread, hopefully it surprises you x

Forgive me for being possibly blunt but being a semi foreign person, I like to think that I see it objectively.

Britain is a class based society and you used to have an administration job that put you in the upper working class or lower middle class. It also gave you a sense of belonging being part of an office family where you were equal to your peers. But as a cleaner, you’re going to be ‘the help’ - a servant, which implies low or at best working class status. It also makes you feel insecure because of the part-time, temp nature of it. In other words, you don’t feel empowered and it’s not a glamorous or prestigious role.

I would challenge you to see it from a different perspective:
Cleaning is a physical job, which means that your mind is free to daydream, listen to podcasts, music or audiobooks. It can in fact, be a cosy and freeing job where you earn money and inspire yourself. Such physical activity, combined with daydreaming can empower you to feel better about your life. Caring for a relative with dementia and taking care of your household can be very draining. This can energise you and give you respite from your problems. Moreover, if you become really good at it and learn how to run a cleaning business then you can become a franchise owner for a cleaning company yourself where you don’t have to do any cleaning. You’d be in a respectable position once again.

My OH has just started working a couple of days with his mate doing cleaning - was initially driveways/patios but they’ve ended up doing some inside cleaning as well. He’s absolutely loving it and it’s actually the first time I’ve heard him speak positively about work in ages. Despite the fact his ‘proper’ businesses prob earn him more in an hour than the cleaning does for an entire day. Clearly finds it very satisfying

My second job is cleaning. I do normal 8:30-5 and then straight onto my other job. Im a gap filler and there's always work for me, I go between schools, dentists, doctors etc.. im usually there once everyone has gone, I stick the headphones on and listen to mucis, pod casts etc.. the time flies by. Im earning between £700-£1000 extra a month and I love it! Im 40 I a few months by the way

My second job is cleaning. I do normal 8:30-5 and then straight onto my other job. Im a gap filler and there's always work for me, I go between schools, dentists, doctors etc.. im usually there once everyone has gone, I stick the headphones on and listen to mucis, pod casts etc.. the time flies by. Im earning between £700-£1000 extra a month and I love it! Im 40 I a few months by the way