If you have a child with autism that can be violent..

[Colouroutsidethelines]

How do you feel when you find out they have attacked school staff? How do you respond?

I am a teaching assistant. I was playing in the garden with another staff member and four children who all have an autism or ADHD diagnosis.

The child I was playing with in the construction area is in year 4 and very articulate. We were conversing nicely, talking about his favourite cars. He then got up and walked off and before I stood up, he had gone behind me, picked up a large wooden log and cracked me hard over the head with it.

It caught me completely off guard and I did cry with the pain as I ran inside to seek first aid.

Curious to how you would respond if this was your child.

Yep. This is my view too. A child who is doing this is not in a safe, supported environment. I would be asking what was put in place to support the children and the staff to avoid it happening again.

Not where I am, they wouldn’t. Mainstream is the presumption.

Im sorry you are still feeling rotten. If you arent up to work, you need to look after yourself.

it feels very hard to leave your colleague in alone but it might be better longer term to take the tine yoh need to recover.

It is a garden/ nature. We aren’t a specialist provision and we have to use Nursery garden. It’s can’t be sterile or a padded cell. It’s a school with toys and equipment.

Seriously what are you expecting the parent to do?

Your school needs to deal with this if the EHCP is ineffective to the degree that staff are getting hurt something needs to be done where is the funding going im aware funding is shared in mainstream ds 1-1 was really a 1-3 occasionally a 1-4 but they protested saying it wasn't fair but because he WASNT violent they got away with it the violent ones? Had 1-1 and in one case was very quickly managed over to a different school

Your issue is the school

Show empathy. Not laugh in my face as the bare minimum. Very concerning anyone wouldn’t expect this?

The children don’t have EHCPs. We don’t have 1:1 support at all in school.

do you know anything about neurodiversity? A lot of it is genetic for a start! A lot of people who have autism or adhd laugh at inappropriate times and behave differently to how you would expect them to.

Crikey OP I hope you are OK. A lot of people seem to be blaming you but the school and the lack of staffing and safety is to blame. You should not have to accept being assaulted as part of your job. This is not OK. The education system is broken and your school in particular sounds appalling. I’m sorry to say I would be getting out of there asap and finding a job elsewhere. Please get checked out if you don’t feel right, and take some time off without any guilt if you need it.

Is this you? You seem to lack empathy.

I would be gutted if mine did that. I suspect you should see about a new job elsewhere.

My DH does the same job and his school is equally underfunded.

OP I say this kindly you are focusing on how the parent should behave but the reality is they didn't do what you think they should have.

This will be either because they can't due to their own SEN or they are an arse either way you aren't going to get want you want from them.

It sounds to me like you want more acknowledgement as to how hard your job is particularly as it doesn't pay well, unfortunately you may never get that so the question is can you live with that or are you too burnt out in which case it's time to find a different job.

I say that as someone who switched jobs for that very reason.

I work with children with disabilities, very often they are violent. I've never been hurt in that way because I'm mindful not to let certain children get behind me. In your case I would've followed his movement with my eyes at the very least. You are too slow if you need the time to stand up and turn around to keep eyes on him. I'm not trying to victim blame, my colleagues that have been injured are the same. You do need to be quick and “on” all of the time.
But the parents reaction was mean.

I have an autistic child who is incredibly articulate and would absolutely have hit a teacher with a log if he saw the opportunity. He has thrown chairs at teaching staff and attacked another child with a sharp pencil.

I am consistently polite and apologetic to the staff concerned. I also ask them to document the incident and have used that evidence to support my requests for (initially) 2:1 in mainstream and then a specialist place. Neither you nor the child should be in that position. Contrary to popular belief, autistic children don’t act like this because their parents encourage and instill violence.

Now that DS is in specialist, we are told that there should be no punishments at home for any incidents at school. My instinct was always to come down on DS like a tonne of bricks following any violence, but this is actively discouraged by the professionals working with neurodivergent children.

I wasn’t expecting anything from the parent other than, how are you/ are you ok? I would do that with anyone that was hurt. Especially someone that worked with such care and empathy towards her own child.

As ive said. School simply don’t have the staffing or funding. There isn’t a magic pot of money unfortunately so it’s very difficult for them to do anything.

Sorry this happened to you OP. I honestly think some people on this thread have no real experience around children with violent tendencies. Some children are so unpredictable that it’s scary. People always talk about avoiding triggers but some children just do not follow a linear or typical pathway and what’s a trigger one day isn’t the next, but that’s usually because it’s just impulsive behaviour. Whether or not this child has SEND, I’d expect an apology from the parent purely because you got hurt and that’s the decent thing to do. It’s just basic manners and it’s something they should be teaching their child to mirror.

I was too slow? I literally stood up from the ground. Unbelievable

If you can't turn your back on a child without risking assault, that child shouldn't be in a mainstream school. There's no way that other children can be expected to manage that level of risk.

Request/demand that the child is expelled to ensure the safety of the other children.

I wouldn't expect you to have to speak to a parent about a serious incident such as this. In our school it would have been a member of SLT. Even in our type of setting, we have issued fixed term suspensions (only half day) for violence towards staff or peers. However it does depend on the child's level of understanding on why he did it. Some children seem really verbal but actually their comprehension levels and understanding of the world is really very low.

The school need to apply for EHCPs for these children. EHCP come with funding for the child. The amounts differ but there is specific funding for that child.

If the school aren't applying for EHCPs THAT is why they don't have the funding. Not because it isn't available.

These children don’t have a formal diagnosis yet.

The problem is you expected something in honestly not saying this to be mean but you just can't it's great if they do but lots of people won't. In fact assume some will give you the complete opposite.

I used to be a nurse and it was when I got to were you sound like your at that I left, you can put your heart and soul in but for that OP all you might get back is being hit and parents laughing at you.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't carry on doing the job it's just can you accept that you won't always get empathy and thanks from parents?

If they have significant needs, an EHCP can be applied for. Their SEN just need to be displayed in two different settings.

I'd say the SEN are being displayed at school when they're in a group of 4 because they can't be in mainstream, 2-1 staff ratio, attacking staff. Just needs the parents to confirm they see the SEN at home too and bingo. 2 settings.

Having been the parent many years ago I was always told NOT to approach teachers or other parents

it didn’t mean I wasn’t mortified or sympathetic or anything less than sorry

i was told not to

Do you understand process or regulatory requirements?

you can’t just go around demanding expulsions, that isn’t how real life works

They don’t need a diagnosis for an EHCP, which the school should push for.