If you have a child with autism that can be violent..

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How do you feel when you find out they have attacked school staff? How do you respond?

I am a teaching assistant. I was playing in the garden with another staff member and four children who all have an autism or ADHD diagnosis.

The child I was playing with in the construction area is in year 4 and very articulate. We were conversing nicely, talking about his favourite cars. He then got up and walked off and before I stood up, he had gone behind me, picked up a large wooden log and cracked me hard over the head with it.

It caught me completely off guard and I did cry with the pain as I ran inside to seek first aid.

Curious to how you would respond if this was your child.

I mean some parents may question the adult supervision in such an incident? Only four children and two staff and neither of you saw a child picking a log and him raising it to hit you? How much prior knowledge did you have about his behaviour? Is it a usual thing or a new behaviour?

What does he need protecting from?!

This is disgusting id be livid with him. Hes mot even severely autistic and it was unprovoked? Nah id be taking away all his toys/electronics and there would be punishments and consequences. Sen kids are allowed to get away with far too much these days.

I think your son’s situation is very different to what is described by the OP, and much more understandable.

Ok - saw your update. Is the parent neurodiverse or any other vulnerability? We'd also expect the teacher to pass on this information, not a TA.

Was it you that told them?

If it was, you really should be more concerned about the schools reaction than the parents. Parents can be crazy, and support staff should be protected from their craziness.

Sorry to read that. That’s not ok. Was he/she embarrassed perhaps?

WTF, that’s horrific. If he’d done that to a child they could be dead. It’s disgusting actually. Clearly not fit for school.

As I said, I was sitting down playing with him. We were facing each other. The other member of staff was supervising the other three children as they are more social and tend to race around together.

He finished talking, got up and walked behind me before I’d had a chance to stand up and hit me. It happened in an instant.

we are only two people. We can’t have eyes in the backs of our heads or being able to watch four children and each other for every second.

This parents response was obviously disgusting and lacked empathy. How he is being raised is possibly linked to why he behaved like that moreso than his Autism. The lack of respect some parents have for teaching staff nowadays is shameful.

My friend tried to minimise her year 3 (neurotypical) kid slapping a TA. I don’t know what she said to the school but she was super casual about it with me.

The parent might be a shit parent/person - it is not unusual. I do agree that it is the school's actions which matter now. They need to minimise the risk to both adults and the child's peers.

I wouldn’t react at all, I deal with it at home my way and the school deal with it at school their way.

My DS who has ADHD (some traits of ASD but generally it's the impulsivity/reactivity/sensory issues) has hurt staff.
These are generally
a) because he feels threatened or anxious: examples, being shouted at, being restrained by two members of staff.
b) because he's learned he gets something: examples, when he came home and said "I will just kick my 1:1 because I can go to Learning Support and finish my colouring.
I usually try to find out why it happened (and even in his specialist school staff have WAY less insight than you'd think into what drives it - the last one went on for months because he worked out how to avoid doing any academic work).
Then I try to persuade school not to do it!

A lot of parents become desensitised to contact about their child. They appear to shrug it off or worse be amused by it: it doesn’t mean they actually are. Usually it’s a sign of not coping.

Autism doesn’t generally cause sudden and severe acts of violence like that. Of course it should not have happened and I am sorry you went through that.

I would have asked if you were ok, wished you well and checked you had the support you needed to recover both physically and emotionally.

I'd have been embarrassed, but also know I couldn't have stopped it as I wasnt there.

You wouldn’t even ask how they were? Show any empathy? Really 🤔

The parents response is unacceptable and I really do feel for you having had that happened to you. But if you work in a special school - you really do need to have eyes everywhere, for your own protection as much as anything else. It is really hard and stressful at times, I know all too well. You haven't answered if that behaviour is usual for that child?

Tell me you know nothing about autism without telling me you know nothing about autism…

I don’t work in a special school.

These children have been deemed too disruptive to be in class so we now have them full time. The garden is one of many movement breaks we have in the day.

He has lashed out at the children before and hit the other staff member once before.

He’s assaulting people with logs. He could’ve killed her. Autism or not, I can’t see why he is the one in need of protection?

I'd be absolutely mortified, and so apologetic. I'd work with the school in any way I could.

I'm sorry it happened. I spent years working in a SEN school and got injured and know how upsetting it can be.

I’ve answered already but What would you like the parent to do op?

Look it's hard to say, with the details you gave given and he could be just poorly brought up and the parent been and irresponsible which seems to be the way you are portraying it

Or despite you think he is very articulate he could as many autistic children do have unsynchronized development and not be able to empathise with you in that situation or understand exactly why that was the wrong thing to do. He may think it was a justified response to something he perceived you as doing. His parents may not have fully understood how serious it was imagining a much skirt situation (particularly if you told them as it should have been a phone call from senior member of school staff) or laughed in shock.

But as other posters have pointed out the larger issue is how your school is dealing with it. They have a duty of care to you as an employee and a duty of care to safeguard the other children regardless of the reason behind this child behaviour.

This incident should have been analysed to see why it happened to help build better risk assessments for future (yes you really can manipulate situations so you never have a child behind you even momentarily it just takes work, planning of situations and staffing). Someone else should have been managing telling the parents. There should be lots of effort put into managing the environment and ensuring staff are well trained, your comment about him not being dysregulated comes across as a bit dismissive, dysregulated could mean meltdown style behaviour or something that looks far more calm quiet from the outside with an unexpected violent action. Extra funding for consistent 1:1 or even 2:1 should be applied for and/or a consideration of if he needs a different educational placement.

Very well put.

Not laugh in my face for one? Ask how I am would be nice. Considering I get paid peanuts for the privilege.