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Original poster

Woman bought alcohol for my daughter - should I say something when I next see her?

147 replies

Spicylittleorangecat · 21/09/2025 12:21

Last night my dd17 went round to a friends house for a little get together (about 8-10 teens).

The friend who was hosting had asked that no one drink any alcohol as her mum was not going to be there and as they were all under age she felt it would be disrespectful to her mum. I was totally in agreement with this and assumed dd would be too. She is not really into alcohol, usually!

Anyhow, halfway through the evening my dd and two of the friends decided to pop to the local co-op to get some snacks for everyone. Whilst there they bumped into one of the friend's aunties, she offered to buy them a bottle of vodka and some buzzballz. DD and her two friends agreed (really annoyed with dd for agreeing to this). They sat on a bench and got drunk then walked back to the host friends house, when she saw they were drunk she was very angry (understandably) and told them they couldn't come back in.

DD called me and I came over and picked her up. I was so annoyed she was drunk as she had work today, she has had to call in sick as she now has a migraine and is throwing up.

I know teens will have fun with drink from time to time and I am not a killjoy, we have all been there (although personally I have not drunk alcohol for 20+ years) but I am disappointed with dd for making the decision to drink given the circumstances but I am more annoyed with this girl's auntie for purchasing it in the first place because without her input they would not have been able to buy any.

I don't know her personally but do see her in the local shop from time to time. I am in two minds that when I next see her I ask that she doesn't purchase alcohol for my under age dd again? I wouldn't have done it so I don't expect any other adult to do the same.

OP posts:
Flatandhappy · 21/09/2025 16:43

This thread reminds me yet again why I chose to leave the UK to bring up our kids elsewhere. I just don’t understand why British parents seem to keen to have their kids grow up as quickly as possible and the “what can you do, they are nearly adults” attitude is the ultimate in lazy parenting. Buying alcohol for someone under 18 is a criminal offence, not a “whoops my bad” . So yes, I would make it a point to tell this woman not to buy my underage daughter alcohol in the future. She will probably think you are crazy judging by the responses here but I could live with that.

LarkspurLane · 21/09/2025 16:48

banananas1999 · 21/09/2025 13:46

Shocking, people normalize drinking, where i am from, EU its an offence to supply under 21 year old with alcohol. In the uk mothers dont seem to care for their childrens health and their behaviour- nothing classy about a young lady being smashed.

Your aunt is an idiot but your daughter should also know better, im 38 never drank in my life and never fell for the peer oressure bs either,my parents did good job on that.

Show quote history

Are you really from the EU?
I can't find any countries in the EU with a drinking age of older than 18. Some are even 16.

BigFatBully · 21/09/2025 17:09

Jujujudo · 21/09/2025 16:21

Absolutely! We used to raid my parents’ drinks cabinet!! I remember that the only thing we never tried was a bright yellow creamy thing called something like Advocaart (I’m sure that’s the wrong name!) because it looked so disgusting..!

Show quote history

Advocaat is lovely mixed with lemonade to make a snowball.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

17 years old Families General food
surprisebaby12 · 21/09/2025 17:11

She’s an adult in a year. Loosen the reins a little

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 21/09/2025 17:12

Was anyone harmed? If not then chalk it down to experience.

Megifer · 21/09/2025 17:20

SerendipityJane · 21/09/2025 16:40

Casting doubt on a posters veracity has always been classed as troll hunting.

If

Id get my arse out in Costa Coffee if this was actually true

isn't suggesting a PP (in fact the OP) is divorced from the actualite of a situation seems to be a manifestation of this.

MNetters used to be discouraged from troll hunting - it was best left to the experts.

Show quote history

I wasn't troll hunting.

I quoted your comment re: the DDs mate barring op's DD. Thats what im referring to.

of all the OPs Ive read on MN today this is probably one of the only ones that is actually readily believable 🤣

limescale · 21/09/2025 17:21

LarkspurLane · 21/09/2025 16:48

Are you really from the EU?
I can't find any countries in the EU with a drinking age of older than 18. Some are even 16.

Show quote history

I was curious too. Sweden has a 20 year old limit for higher alcohol volume.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure that underage drinking is prevalent in all countries where alcohol is available.

lollypop42 · 21/09/2025 17:30

i’d be livid with the buyer and your daughter

cestlavielife · 21/09/2025 18:34

Your title shoukd be
dd asked auntie to buy vodka then drank 1/3 bottle is her headache enough of a consequence?Will she learn from this?

Sassylovesbooks · 23/09/2025 09:56

The Aunt of one of the girls is irresponsible and shouldn't have bought the alcohol for teens she knew to be underage. Your daughter may have gone along with it, purely to fit in with the other two girls. However, you can't change what's happened, and your daughter is currently understanding the perils of drinking to excessive! The nasty hangover and the now migraine she's experiencing, hopefully has made her learn her lesson (for now!). Teenagers made stupid decisions, no matter how sensible they usually are. You need a chat with your daughter. Find out if she went along with the alcohol because she wanted too or if she felt pressurised into doing so. She needs to feel confident in herself to say No and walk away, if she feels it's not the right choice to make. She doesn't have to say yes, and if girls are going to tease her for saying No, then does she really want to be friends with people like that?! Friends will respect your choices. People who don't aren't your friends. Friends look out for each other. Would these girls have done that for your daughter???! She also needs to understand the risks to her own safety by getting blind drunk. She can very easily be taken advantage of, and she needs friends around her who she can trust. Of course some of the other girls are cross with your daughter, again, a life lesson on consequences to behaviour and choices she made. She needs to apologise! I would leave speaking to the Aunt out of this, she may have bought the alcohol, but no one forced your daughter to drink it, she made that choice herself. If your daughter had been 14, absolutely I would have said speak to her, but she's 17.

Vitriolinsanity · 23/09/2025 19:15

Flatandhappy · 21/09/2025 16:43

This thread reminds me yet again why I chose to leave the UK to bring up our kids elsewhere. I just don’t understand why British parents seem to keen to have their kids grow up as quickly as possible and the “what can you do, they are nearly adults” attitude is the ultimate in lazy parenting. Buying alcohol for someone under 18 is a criminal offence, not a “whoops my bad” . So yes, I would make it a point to tell this woman not to buy my underage daughter alcohol in the future. She will probably think you are crazy judging by the responses here but I could live with that.

Unless you’ve moved to the Galápagos Islands sweet summer child, I suspect the later teen years are going to come as quite the shock.

Jellyheadbang · 23/09/2025 20:37

Vitriolinsanity · 23/09/2025 19:15

Unless you’ve moved to the Galápagos Islands sweet summer child, I suspect the later teen years are going to come as quite the shock.

Show quote history

Lollllliiiinggg

Skybluepinky · 27/09/2025 19:30

sounds like that was always the plan, and you are struggling with the fact that she now does her own thing and you feel she has lost respect for your rules and are trying to blame the woman. Chances are they asked her to buy it, don’t make a fool of yourself.

Donttellempike · 27/09/2025 19:33

Spicylittleorangecat · 21/09/2025 12:21

Last night my dd17 went round to a friends house for a little get together (about 8-10 teens).

The friend who was hosting had asked that no one drink any alcohol as her mum was not going to be there and as they were all under age she felt it would be disrespectful to her mum. I was totally in agreement with this and assumed dd would be too. She is not really into alcohol, usually!

Anyhow, halfway through the evening my dd and two of the friends decided to pop to the local co-op to get some snacks for everyone. Whilst there they bumped into one of the friend's aunties, she offered to buy them a bottle of vodka and some buzzballz. DD and her two friends agreed (really annoyed with dd for agreeing to this). They sat on a bench and got drunk then walked back to the host friends house, when she saw they were drunk she was very angry (understandably) and told them they couldn't come back in.

DD called me and I came over and picked her up. I was so annoyed she was drunk as she had work today, she has had to call in sick as she now has a migraine and is throwing up.

I know teens will have fun with drink from time to time and I am not a killjoy, we have all been there (although personally I have not drunk alcohol for 20+ years) but I am disappointed with dd for making the decision to drink given the circumstances but I am more annoyed with this girl's auntie for purchasing it in the first place because without her input they would not have been able to buy any.

I don't know her personally but do see her in the local shop from time to time. I am in two minds that when I next see her I ask that she doesn't purchase alcohol for my under age dd again? I wouldn't have done it so I don't expect any other adult to do the same.

She’s 17. Not 12. She’s had a massive hangover. And learned a lesson. Chill out

Braygirlnow · 27/09/2025 20:13

Spicylittleorangecat · 21/09/2025 12:29

OK, maybe I am over-reacting and yes, I do place a lot of the blame on dd.

I just feel she went against all the others at the party, they were all happy not to drink at the mother's request. I am surprised and disappointed that dd and her friends made that decision. None of the other friends are talking to her and the other two now.

I suppose we are all different but I personally wouldn't purchase drink for dd's friends if I knew they were all under age (albeit by a year), I know how mad they can go with it given the chance.

Sounds like her own friends will make her feel the shame...have a word then drop it, we've all been there.

LozTrewartha · 27/09/2025 21:00

Omg she's 17, she is a adult. Jesus I was getting pissed at 13. Could be way worse than alcohol so I'd thank your lucky stars that's all it is.
She's not a kid, let her make her own mistakes like im sure you did!!!!

WinoLino · 27/09/2025 22:09

It’s really not a big deal in my opinion.

Oh and for what it’s worth; I think she probably has a hangover, rather than a migraine.

salsapasta · 28/09/2025 08:35

I wouldn't wait to bump into her, I would contact her now. Lots of things wrong her from your Daughter and law breaking aunt.

broney · 28/09/2025 16:26

Don't blame DD, be glad that she's had such an unpleasant and negative experience with alcohol!
Be angry with friend's auntie, she is breaking the law.

Glitchymn1 · 28/09/2025 16:31

I’d have sent her to work- it’s not a migraine it’s a hangover.

Boomer55 · 28/09/2025 16:45

17? No need for dramas. Thats what teenagers of that age do.

BigFatBully · 28/09/2025 22:18

Megifer · 21/09/2025 17:20

I wasn't troll hunting.

I quoted your comment re: the DDs mate barring op's DD. Thats what im referring to.

of all the OPs Ive read on MN today this is probably one of the only ones that is actually readily believable 🤣

Show quote history

You obviously were... Attitudes such as this discourage users from posting.

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