Woman bought alcohol for my daughter - should I say something when I next see her?

[Spicylittleorangecat]

Last night my dd17 went round to a friends house for a little get together (about 8-10 teens).

The friend who was hosting had asked that no one drink any alcohol as her mum was not going to be there and as they were all under age she felt it would be disrespectful to her mum. I was totally in agreement with this and assumed dd would be too. She is not really into alcohol, usually!

Anyhow, halfway through the evening my dd and two of the friends decided to pop to the local co-op to get some snacks for everyone. Whilst there they bumped into one of the friend's aunties, she offered to buy them a bottle of vodka and some buzzballz. DD and her two friends agreed (really annoyed with dd for agreeing to this). They sat on a bench and got drunk then walked back to the host friends house, when she saw they were drunk she was very angry (understandably) and told them they couldn't come back in.

DD called me and I came over and picked her up. I was so annoyed she was drunk as she had work today, she has had to call in sick as she now has a migraine and is throwing up.

I know teens will have fun with drink from time to time and I am not a killjoy, we have all been there (although personally I have not drunk alcohol for 20+ years) but I am disappointed with dd for making the decision to drink given the circumstances but I am more annoyed with this girl's auntie for purchasing it in the first place because without her input they would not have been able to buy any.

I don't know her personally but do see her in the local shop from time to time. I am in two minds that when I next see her I ask that she doesn't purchase alcohol for my under age dd again? I wouldn't have done it so I don't expect any other adult to do the same.

You believe the auntie offered?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

yeah. No.

They left to buy snacks? I mean that is where the story starts to falter given it ended with them sat on a bench!

there is more to this that I am sure will come out

You’d have every right to say something to her, if the police caught her doing that they wouldn’t say “oh they’re 17 it’s ok” um no, no it’s not ok it’s against the law

I highly doubt the aunt offered, either she was asked or there was no aunt at all - quite possible either your DD or one or her friends has a fake ID they don't want you to know about.

But to be honest all that is irrelevant given that she will be able to buy booze in a matter of months anyway.

I'd be thankful it wasn't worse and see it as a lesson to her tbh. My version of that came at 13 (admittedly it was the 90s!) - I was up to a hell of a lot worse by 17. And I survived and have gone onto have a successful and happy life!

It’s all on DD and her friends. My mum would have made me go into work if I was hungover (and certainly wouldn’t have called it a migraine) and would be furious with me if I didn’t. She was very much do the crime, do the time. And to be fair I have never missed work due to a hangover. I hope she called in herself and didn’t have you do it for her.

Some 17 years old are at Uni she was being an eejit, but a 17 year old eejit. The hangover will prob be enough punishment.

She didn’t go against ALL the others if she was with the park with two friends drinking vodka.

fwiw I am much comfortable with a 17yo drinking with friends in a house together than on a bench, quickly (because also want to go back to the party).

Thats on your dd.
Hope that the headache, hungover will have taught her to not repeat that the night before work/school

Jesus Christ she's 17, cut the cord and stop being so overbearing!

They left to buy snacks which was coincidentally at the same time the auntie had been messaged to buy them alcohol.

Shocking, people normalize drinking, where i am from, EU its an offence to supply under 21 year old with alcohol. In the uk mothers dont seem to care for their childrens health and their behaviour- nothing classy about a young lady being smashed.

Your aunt is an idiot but your daughter should also know better, im 38 never drank in my life and never fell for the peer oressure bs either,my parents did good job on that.

Think this is better off as a life lesson for your 17 year old dd. Yes the adult here should not have brought the alcohol but your dd is, at 17, should be old enough to recognise the situation and act accordingly (or not as in this case).

Oh no, she wasn't messaged.

Apparently they randomly bumped into her and she offered to buy them alcohol 😁

Ahh the warm glow of smuggy smugness from someone in an undeclared EU country.

Just wait while I find my sunglasses, the glow is strong! 🕶😎

That's better 😁

Couldn't get worked up about this. They got drunk and are now paying the price (although I find it hard to believe the friends are not talking to each other). She's young and young people do foolish things sometimes.
You are making in to a massive deal when it's not. And what would you say to the aunt if you saw her? Total overreaction.

I would be willing to bet a significant amount of money that they asked the auntie and she didn’t offer. Or there was no auntie at all and they managed to get it through other means that she doesn’t want to disclose.

They are 17. Don’t get involved.

Why didn't they take it back to the party? Everyone could have had one or two drinks and nobody would have got drunk. At least in my day you would have shared, and totally on the two girls who got and drank the booze.

All you know for sure is that your daughter got drunk on a bench. The supposed backstory about the host girl and the trip to the shops and the auntie etc might be a pile of hogwash. At 16 we managed to get booze brought to us on a school trip miles from home - and we were quite sensible teens compared to our peers. Kids are smart about getting hold of booze.

Mind you if you make a great show to your daughter about how you’re going to give auntie a piece of your mind she might crack and tell you what really happened. 😂

She is 17, best you can do is warn them (years before they are 17!) about how drinking too much spirits too fast can be problematic, being safe (not on a park bench!) keeping together etc

Then, by the time they are 17 you need to let them make their own mistakes, it is part of almost being a adult, and take the consequences which includes a hangover is not an excuse to not go to work! (unless it is a safety issue due to job involving driving/machinery)

Don't divert the blame to the auntie, the decisions were all on your dd, they would have gotten it some other way.

I’d be more concerned about the grown woman who knowingly buys alcohol for underage children. That’s outrageous.

The “ auntie” story sounds exactly like the old cobblers I used to come up with at that age 😂

Personally I find it absolutely astonishing that you’re being so pearl clutchy about a 17 year old drinking alcohol. It has happened since the dawn of time and she would be able to buy it herself in a few months.

Count yourself lucky that this is the biggest issue you have to deal with.

Did the woman know how old they were? 17 or 18 can you tell the difference? And I agree that they probably spun a yarn about wanting the booze (going to a party) but not having the money (lost it, had it stolen, etc).

If there was an auntie I’d be shocked, shocked I tell ya

Most people will know the age of their own niece, surely?

Although I suppose she might've been told the others were 18 but forgot their ID.

Unlikely though.