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Original poster

Woman bought alcohol for my daughter - should I say something when I next see her?

147 replies

Spicylittleorangecat · 21/09/2025 12:21

Last night my dd17 went round to a friends house for a little get together (about 8-10 teens).

The friend who was hosting had asked that no one drink any alcohol as her mum was not going to be there and as they were all under age she felt it would be disrespectful to her mum. I was totally in agreement with this and assumed dd would be too. She is not really into alcohol, usually!

Anyhow, halfway through the evening my dd and two of the friends decided to pop to the local co-op to get some snacks for everyone. Whilst there they bumped into one of the friend's aunties, she offered to buy them a bottle of vodka and some buzzballz. DD and her two friends agreed (really annoyed with dd for agreeing to this). They sat on a bench and got drunk then walked back to the host friends house, when she saw they were drunk she was very angry (understandably) and told them they couldn't come back in.

DD called me and I came over and picked her up. I was so annoyed she was drunk as she had work today, she has had to call in sick as she now has a migraine and is throwing up.

I know teens will have fun with drink from time to time and I am not a killjoy, we have all been there (although personally I have not drunk alcohol for 20+ years) but I am disappointed with dd for making the decision to drink given the circumstances but I am more annoyed with this girl's auntie for purchasing it in the first place because without her input they would not have been able to buy any.

I don't know her personally but do see her in the local shop from time to time. I am in two minds that when I next see her I ask that she doesn't purchase alcohol for my under age dd again? I wouldn't have done it so I don't expect any other adult to do the same.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 21/09/2025 14:00

She really didn't offer OP. Pull her by all means but you may not like what you hear.

MadinMarch · 21/09/2025 14:00

Migraine? I think you mean 'hangover'....

GingerBeverage · 21/09/2025 14:01

From another perspective, it’s lame to dump your friends back at the house and go drinking in the park with the ‘cool’ girls.

The group dynamics of this are all off and I’m not surprised they got a frosty reception after presumably taking a long time to return with snacks.

Don’t agree to one thing and then do another, it’s a fast way to lose friends.

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17 years old Families General food

SirHumphreyRocks · 21/09/2025 14:08

banananas1999 · 21/09/2025 13:46

Shocking, people normalize drinking, where i am from, EU its an offence to supply under 21 year old with alcohol. In the uk mothers dont seem to care for their childrens health and their behaviour- nothing classy about a young lady being smashed.

Your aunt is an idiot but your daughter should also know better, im 38 never drank in my life and never fell for the peer oressure bs either,my parents did good job on that.

Show quote history

Ridiculous. We are not "where you are from", and I am certain it is nowhere near as perfect as you think. But saying UK mothers don't care about their (nearly adult) childrens health and behaviour is stupid. If you find parenting in this country so dreadful, it's surprising that you want to stay here.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 21/09/2025 14:14

She’s 17, it’s not a big deal. How will she cope at uni if she’s been treated as a child her whole life up until then.

the only bad bit here is going against her friend who specifically asked her not to drink, that’s wasn’t on but it’s a lesson for your daughter (as is the hangover ) you don’t need to give her another

QPZM · 21/09/2025 14:14

SirHumphreyRocks · 21/09/2025 14:08

Show quote history

No mention of UK fathers either.

Crinkle77 · 21/09/2025 14:18

BadgernTheGarden · 21/09/2025 13:52

Why didn't they take it back to the party? Everyone could have had one or two drinks and nobody would have got drunk. At least in my day you would have shared, and totally on the two girls who got and drank the booze.

Cos the girl hosting the party didn't want alcohol there.

limescale · 21/09/2025 14:18

Vitriolinsanity · 21/09/2025 13:57

If there was an auntie I’d be shocked, shocked I tell ya

I am an auntie to many. I love treating them.
Plying them with vodka underage isn’t one of those treats!

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 21/09/2025 14:21

You could have a word, but I would keep it conversational, you mightnt have been told the full story. Thankfully binge drinking is decreasing in general so it could be just a one off or phase. Keep in mind too that she has more control over her life now than you do. So keep it conversational if I were you and give her head space to recover, think and tell you how she feels about it. Her perception of things could tell a lot more. She can fix things if she wants but she has different feelings and possibly a lack of understanding going on. And hey, we all need space to learn for ourselves, none of us can follow the advice of others to the T, we all need to do it for ourselves

BeachLife2 · 21/09/2025 14:24

QPZM · 21/09/2025 13:57

Most people will know the age of their own niece, surely?

Although I suppose she might've been told the others were 18 but forgot their ID.

Unlikely though.

Show quote history

I don’t think most aunts would see buying an alcohol for a 17 year old as a particularly big deal tbh.

QPZM · 21/09/2025 14:25

BeachLife2 · 21/09/2025 14:24

I don’t think most aunts would see buying an alcohol for a 17 year old as a particularly big deal tbh.

Show quote history

Nor do I.

But the PP I was replying to asked if she knew their ages.

Considering she's one girl's aunt, I would've thought so.

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 21/09/2025 14:27

I think it would have been a better life lesson if you made her go to work! You only do that once.

justasking111 · 21/09/2025 14:30

Comedycook · 21/09/2025 12:43

17 year olds getting pissed is hardly surprising or shocking.

However there's absolutely no way I'd offer to buy it for them in a million years...what a stupid thing to do.

Nor me aunty was plain stupid. However, I'd be annoyed with my daughter.

blankcanvas3 · 21/09/2025 14:30

I would have made her go to work tbh. But she’s 17, this stuff will happen. I don’t believe that they just happened to run into the auntie and she just happened to offer to buy them vodka though.

dynamiccactus · 21/09/2025 14:30

SirHumphreyRocks · 21/09/2025 14:08

Show quote history

Not sure where you are from but there are definitely EU countries where proxy sales are fine. I've been in a queue at a supermarket behind two kids - one didn't have ID, the other did, and they've been able to buy it. That would not be lawful in the UK (although I think the proxy sales laws and more to the point their interpretation can be rather ridiculous in the UK).

dynamiccactus · 21/09/2025 14:31

PS nothing classy about older women being smashed either. Go into York city centre on a Saturday night - yee gods.

SerendipityJane · 21/09/2025 14:33

As usual I seem to read differently 😀

I'm more impressed at the party hosts for holding firm and barring your DD on her return. That is some weapons grade backbone there.

BananaPeels · 21/09/2025 14:34

Honestly I’d be a bit peeved but she’s 17. I was going clubbing at 17 and whilst not getting drunk I was definitely drinking.

honestly I hope she learnt a lesson about drinking and having to work the next day and hopefully how awful hangovers are. She’s safe. I’d warn her that there will be consequences if she does something like that again.

LimeShaker · 21/09/2025 14:34

My guess is- they were all drinking dd and friend got too drunk which worried others esp host that they would be caught so story was concocted to save majority. Alternatively dd and friend went to meet boys and were drinking…friends also drinking but not as drunk and worried they would be rattled. The aunt story is just not true

TennisLady · 21/09/2025 14:37

Yeah the story doesn’t add up (at age 17 going to someone’s house when parents weren’t there would have meant alcohol, not drinking out of respect for that sounds off!) - but also she’s 17. A lesson for her.

Megifer · 21/09/2025 14:40

Are you sure you've not been fed a line here op?

"Someone's aunt got it for me.....friend insisted no alcohol out of respect" is exactly the sort of bollocks id have made up if I was at a friend's where alcohol was flowing, id had too much, and didn't want to grass friend up for having a boozy get together.

It wouldnt even occurred to me that my mum might actually ask the "aunt" 😬

nosleepforme · 21/09/2025 14:40

No I wouldn’t say anything. But I’d be deeply disappointed in my dd

Megifer · 21/09/2025 14:41

SerendipityJane · 21/09/2025 14:33

As usual I seem to read differently 😀

I'm more impressed at the party hosts for holding firm and barring your DD on her return. That is some weapons grade backbone there.

Id get my arse out in Costa Coffee if this was actually true 😂😂

fastingforweightloss · 21/09/2025 14:42

Couldn't get too worked up at this, at 17. My DD was living in Uni halls at 17, and was defo going out and drinking with a false ID. At 17 I had been working full time for a year and had my own car. At 17, DH's mother had a baby!

That said, I would not buy under age girls vodka - not worth the hassle.

Jellyheadbang · 21/09/2025 14:46

This is a weird story all round, including the update where the friends aren’t talking to dd now because of the drinking.
there’s a lot more to this story, or are they religious ?

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